


Deck The Halls

by ChocolateShipCookie



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Accidents, Adopted Children, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Cliche, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Holidays, Multi, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 66,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateShipCookie/pseuds/ChocolateShipCookie
Summary: After a terrible fight with her familiy, the beautiful young Effie Trinket comes to settle in the little town of Seamville. There she'll meet the grumpy Haymitch Abernathy, and their encounter makes sparks...Hayffie-modern AU- Christmas story- fluff and smut
Relationships: Cinna/Portia (Hunger Games), Haymitch Abernathy/Effie Trinket
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35
Collections: Hayffie Christmas Stories





	1. September

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! Welcome in this new Xmas story!  
> Warning: This is crack. You’ll find every Christmas romantic movie cliché you can imagine here. This is a fluffy, smuty, cliché pot-pourri.  
> I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as I had fun writing it, and please give me your thoughts about it in the comments! ;)
> 
> A little precision, obviously, this is a modern AU and the ages are not canon. All the characters are slightly younger than they are in ‘reality’.  
> That being said, I leave you with the story….

**September**

Effie wakes up early on a fine mid September Saturday morning.

She still has to get used to her brand new apartment, above her brand new shop.

To her brand new life.

She had opened her tea house/ dressmaker workshop, _The Capitol,_ a week ago, with the help of her best friend Portia, and so far it has been a hit! Their customers loved her pastries and drinks, and the concept of buying tailor made clothes or bringing some to be mended while taking a nice cup of tea had immediately seduced them. It was just what she wanted it to be, a bubble of relaxation in this otherwise quite serious town.

It’s their first day off since the opening and she wants to take a break and go have walk outside, take a look at the town. She had been truly living here for a week but she never had the occasion to visit with all the fuss around the new shop.

She knocks at Portia’s door to ask her if she wants to join her, but her friend only looks at her like if she’s crazy with her eyes still half closed and slams the door at her face. She laughs as she gets down the stairs leading to the back door.

Once she is outside, she takes a big breath of fresh air. The sky is blue with a few remaining white clouds, the air is warm and still humid from the rainy night. The sidewalk is still wet and she has to avoid the little puddles to protect her brown suede boots and the hem of her jeans. It’s still warm enough that she can walk outside with a simple blouse and her thin burgundy leather jacket.

With her sunglasses on the nose, she makes her way through the small center of the town, with its red brick building and white painted doors. She sees a few little shops that catch her eyes and meets several of her customers who greet her cheerfully. Some even stop her to talk for a few minutes. Everybody seem nice and welcoming around here.

After all this walk and chit-chat, she feels the need for a good cup of coffee and spots the only diner of the town, right next to the little public parc, _The Hob._

She remembers this diner from the first time she had come here years ago. She had been on a _‘road trip’_ with her -now ex – boyfriend, Seneca, and they had stopped there for lunch. She had had the best coffee of her life there. And the owner had been quite agreeable to look at, albeit quite grumpy and rude, so it had been a nice bonus.

She makes a way there, wondering if the owner had changed since this trip. It had been… what? Four years ago?…

She enters and sits at the counter. The owner comes and he is the same tall blond man she remembered. Only a little older and less… neglected.

“ _What do you want sweetheart?”_ he asks without even glancing at her.

“ _A cup of coffee, please.”_ she answers with her whitest smile, “ _And I’ll ask you not to pet name me.”_ That last part has the merit of making him finally look at her. She however didn’t expect him to gauge her with a lifted eyebrow and narrowed eyes.

“ _You can go and make your own coffee sweetheart. I ain’t serving the competition.”_ he grumbles turning his back at her and going back to his previous occupations.

“ _What?”_ she gasps. She had never encountered someone so rude in her entire life. Well twenty-eight years are not a life time but it’s long enough.

“ _You heard me, you can make your own coffee, get out of my place.”_

“ _I’m… I am not competition! What are we? Children?”_ He doesn’t answer her and goes back to his kitchen.

She crosses her arms on her chest, flabbergasted. She is not losing this argument. This is all completely stupid and she refuses to have this childish hostility ruining her, until now lovely, experience in this town. So she waits.

When he comes back, his eyes fall on her and he rolls his eyes. “S _till here?”_

“ _Well yes! I am not leaving without my coffee.”_ she states calmly.

“ _You know I have to close the diner at night yeah? You might be a little cold sleeping on the tiles.”_ he answers without looking at her and then goes away in the back again.

She is not used to being ignored like that, and he doesn’t seem to mind ignoring her for the rest of the day. But she won’t be defeated, she decides to make herself _unignorable_.

“ _The weather is truly lovely today. The landscape is really beautiful around here, especially with a clear blue sky to enhance it! And the weather is so clement, it’s still so warm at this time of year, I didn’t even need to put a coat on this morning! It’s a shame we’re so far from the ocean thought, then it would have been truly perfect! Have you ever been there? I used to spend my summer vacation there when I was a child. I loved it! The salty breeze in your hair, the smell of seaweed, the warmth of the sand between your toes...”_ Surely if she kept talking he would get bored and give what she wanted, right? He did not seem the type to like company and small talk much…

He is still not back from the kitchen so she keeps going.

“ _Have you always lived here? I remember this diner from the first time I came here. I was on a road trip with my boyfriend. Well ex-boyfriend now, but whatever... We were doing the same road me and my family_ _used to take_ _during_ _our_ _vacations. Going up from New-York to Maine. My father was a big fan of lobster. And then we would get back down by the coast, so we could enjoy it_ _for_ _as_ _long_ _as we could._ _Hmm, childhood is such a carefree time. Adulthood is hard and annoying in comparison…_

He finally storms out of the kitchen with a to-go cup of coffee in his hand.

“ _Coffee. To go. Out. Now.”_ he sighs, exasperated, pointing the door with his finger.

“ _Thank you!”_ She sing-sangs with a bright smile, like a petulant child who just got his whim fulfilled. He rolls his eyes but for the first time keeps his gaze on her for more than a fleeting second. “ _And, you know, we’re are absolutely not in competition. You make delicious coffee and…. greasy things,”_ she winces waving at a dirty plate shining with oil on the counter, _“and I make tea and pastries, I won’t ruin your business.”_ then she jumps from her stool and struts to the door, sipping her coffee and swaying her hips. She can feel his eyes on her, no doubt lingering on her perfect behind.

“ _T’was a pleasure meeting you. Hope it won’t happen again!”_ she hears him scream behind her as she passes the door. It brings a smile to her lips as she resumes her tour of the town.

She decides to make a stop at the grocery store. She has to buy a few things to fill her quite sadly empty personal fridge. She really can’t keep stealing things in the shop’s kitchen…

She is reading the label on some flavored water bottle in the drinks section when she feels eyes on her and hears whispers. She lifts her head to see two middle aged men looking at her insistently. They are… hard to miss with their colorful and eccentric style. The shortest one is wearing a Prussian blue suit with whites shiny shoes, and the chubby one black jeans with a flowery pink shirt under a heavy studded leather jacket.

The instant their eyes meet they are on her and she cannot escape.

“ _You are Effie Trinket, the owner of The Capitol shop, are_ _n’t_ _you?!”_ The chubby one says, shaking her hand strongly.

“ _Well, yes! That me.”_ she answers as the other man takes her other hand and gives her a hand-kiss.

“ _We are sooo delighted to meet you! I am Caesar Flickerman and this is my_ _husband_ _Claudius_ _Templesmith_ _. We own the local radio and newspaper, it would be an honor for us if you accepted to come and see us one day. We’d love to make an article about you and your adorable boutique.”_ The man in the suit tells her. She doesn’t know what to answer. She didn’t expect that at all. Who would have thought such a small town had it’s own radio station?

“ _Oh, hmm.. It would be an honor! I.. I’d love to!”_ She stammers.

“ _Great! Oh, you’re the latest subject you know! All everybody is talking about!”_ He laughs with the whitest teeth she has ever seen.

“ _Oh and bring your associate with you! Portia isn’t it? People would love to hear your story I’m sure!”_ The other -Claudius – adds.

“ _Oh, yes, I… I’ll ask her, sure!”_ she feels a little overwhelmed by all this attention. She had come here to live a calm life and there she was, the new freak in town… “ _Thank you so much for you_ _r_ _proposition, this is really nice of you! I’ll call you later okay? To … organize everything.”_

“ _Oh yes! Of course my dear! We’re not in a hurry. It’s not like you were to leave us soon right?”_ Caesar jokes putting a had on her shoulder and laughing loudly again.

“ _No, no indeed. Well, I’m afraid I’ll have to_ _go back home though._ _I_ _t was a pleasure gentlemen. See you soon I hope.”_

“ _Oh yes, go darling. We do not want to steal your time! Goodbye, See you soon!”_ Claudius replies and they both laugh while she retreats slowly but surely to the store’s exit.

“ _Yes, goodbye!”_ She says and waves at them as she leaves the shop. She sighs in relief. They were really nice but also quite… overwhelming.

She decides to go back to her apartment. She had had enough awkward socialization for today and the sky is getting cloudy anyway.

She comes back to find Portia stealing and eating yogurts directly in her fridge. She rolls her eyes and laughs at her friend as she settles on the stool on her kitchen island, still holding her cup of now lukewarm coffee.

Portia steals it too and takes a sip of it. Effie lets her hands fall on the counter with a fond exasperated sigh.

“ _What?”_

“ _Stop stealing my things!”_ she answers laughing at seeing the genuinely confused expression on her friend’s face.

“ _What? Did you expect me to go to the grocery stores in my pyjamas?”_

“ _You could have go_ _tten_ _dressed.”_ she laughs again.

“ _It’s the weekend, I just got up!”_ Effie could hear the ‘ _duh’_ at the end of her sentence. She takes a last gulp of her coffee before handing it back to her. “ _It’s real good! Where did you get it?”_

“ _The diner, on the square. Had to fight but it was worth it!”_

“ _Take me with you next time! If the owner is as good as his coffee I might get used to get both of them in bed.”_ She says with a wink.

“ _You’ll be disappointed.”_ she replies shaking her head, both at the memory of the coffee adventure and at her friend’s attitude. She was obsessed with men. Worst than her mother even. At least her mother had harassed her to get married once, not to ‘ _get laid’_ every two days. She doesn’t want to _get laid_ -what an awful expression – just for the sake of it, if it has to happen one day she wants it to mean something.

“ _We’ll see that!”_ she answers and plants a kiss on her cheek as she hops out the apartment. “ _See you later Eff, Don’t want to miss Real Housewives of BH!”_

She takes what’s left of her coffee and heat it in a mug before falling on her couch and turning the TV on. Her cat, Lady, comes to snuggle on her lap. Portia was right, the new episode sounded quite epic and she couldn’t miss it.

xxx

She takes Portia with her to the diner the next Monday morning. It’s 8:30 so they have half an hour before opening the shop.

Of course, she immediately elbows her the moment he appears. Effie turns her head to look at her and she mouths “ _handsome”_ with wide eyes.

He comes to their table to take their order and sighs when he recognizes her.

“ _You’re back... What do you want?”_

She opens her mouth but Portia is quicker.

“ _We’ll have eggs,_ _one blackberry muffin_ _and two black coffees,_ _please hum_ _… What’s your name again?”_ she asks him seductively.

“ _Haymitch.”_ he grumbles reluctantly while scribbling their order on his paper.

“ _Thank you Haymitch.”_ She almost purrs as he retreats to the kitchen. Effie rolls her eyes and fakes a gag of disgust which makes Portia laugh.

They’re talking about the amelioration they could do in the shop when he comes back with their order. He all but throws the plates and mugs on the table but Portia thanks him with a bright smile and doe eyes.

They keep talking business as they eat, but Effie can feel they are being watched. She has that weird sensation tickling her nape. Portia isn’t fooled either and throws a few glances in his direction behind Effie’s shoulder. She grins, that’s no good sign…

“ _He’s looking at you...”_ she whispers through her teeth.

_Here we go..._

“ _I am sure you’re wrong.”_ she replies, hiding her face in her cup of coffee.

“ _Oh I’m sure I’m right. He keeps glancing at you,_ _looks like he can’t_ _help it...”_

“ _He hates me, well us. He considers we’re competition to his diner. He certainly cannot wait to see us out of here…_ _He certainly fears that we’_ _re here to_ _steal his recipes._ _”_ She can’t believe in any other explanation Portia might give her.

“ _If you say so.”_ Her friend humors her and drops the subject (for now).

She can’t keep her tongue for long. Not five minutes later she goes back to the Haymitch matter.

“ _Damn he has gorgeous eyes… S_ _o_ _grey...”_ She almost drools in her hand.

“ _Hush...”_

“ _Fixed on you...”_

“ _Will you stop?!”_ she hisses.

“ _Well…_ _on your ass...”_

“ _O_ _oo_ _kay that’s it, we’_ _re_ _leav_ _ing_ _!”_ She say as she stands up and takes her purse to go pay the bill.

She arrives at the counter with a knot in her stomach, not keen on repeating the scene from last time.

“ _Here you go. Thank you for the_ _breakfast_ _.”_ she tells him with a shy unsure smile as she hands him the money. She expects a nasty reply but she is surprised.

“ _You’re welcome, sweetheart.”_

She doesn’t comment on the moniker this time. It’s better than all the things she had imagined so she prefers to leave it at that and leaves with a smile. “ _Have a good day Haymitch.”_

He waits until she has turned back and began to walk to the door to answer -well grumble - “ _Yeah, you too.”_ in her back.

“ _Maybe he doesn’t like you, but he sure likes your ass...”_ Portia says with a smile, wriggling her eyebrows, once the door is shut behind her. “ _Couldn’t take his eyes away from it all your way here.”_

“ _Oh come on Portia, can you stop this?”_ She knows where it’s heading. She needs to find a man, it will do her good, she needs to find her self-confidence back… _bla bla bla._

“ _Y_ _OU_ _come on, he’s hot! You could use a little heat in your life, it would relax you a little_.”

“ _He’s rude..._ ” She replies. She could never have a rude man with no manners at all.

“ _And so what? Rude can be good in bed you know..._ ”

“ _Portia_!”

“ _What don’t play prude with me Eff._ _I am sure you noticed his eyes. They’re gorgeous. And his hands, god I love big hands… And his ass isn’t too bad either, I am sure he works out..._ ”

“ _Are you done?”_ Effie sighs exasperated and embarrassed to have her friend drooling in the middle of the street. “ _If you like him that much why don’t YOU go for it?”_

“ _Oh jealous aren’t we?! I have no chance at all, he only had eyes for you. And you need it more than I do! I only want what’s best for you!”_

“ _Why, thank you! I am very flattered!”_ she huffs as she opens the shop doors and all but runs to the kitchen to avoid the rest of this conversation. She can hear Portia laugh a “ _Love you Eff’!”_ behind the door. Rude…

She knows she hasn’t had a man in a long time, she doesn’t need Portia to remind her every day. But she has decided she could be perfectly happy all by herself. Women don’t need men to be complete. They are just a… convenient bonus when you get the chance. She did not, that’s all. End of the story. Now she has her own life to take in hands! And that’s already a handful…

However she can’t help a smile to tug at her lips thinking Portia might be right. She isn’t a nun. She always like to know her charms still have effect on men. Especially when it’s on handsome ones.

The business is calm that day, it’s raining a little and people seem to prefer staying at home to going shopping. It’s 3 pm when they get their first real customer of the day. Not just a “ _O_ _h thank you, I’m just looking_ ”.

It’s a beautiful woman in her thirties, curvy with tanned skin, beautiful black hair and deep brown eyes with not a drop of makeup, coming in with a baby in a stroller.

Effie’s absolute opposite.

She puts her raincoat on the hanger and comes to Effie with a big bag full of clothes.

“ _Hello, I need these clothes to be mended by Thursday, do you think you can do that?”_ she asks with a wince. She seems to be a busy mother. She keeps rocking the stroller to calm her fussing baby and in the bag Effie can see at least two different sizes of young boys clothes.

“ _Oh, I’ll take them to my colleague and she’ll see what she can do.”_ Effie answers with a smile, taking the bag and going to Portia’s study. She gives it to her friend who asks her to make the woman wait while she inspect the bag and estimate the amount of work.

She comes back in the shop and offers a tea to the woman in the meantime.

She seats at the white table by the window and Effie comes closer to keep her company. She bows above the crib to take a look at the little girl inside. She is as beautiful as her mother. She can’t be much more than six month but she already have pretty black curls and striking grey eyes.

“ _She is precious.”_ She says still smiling at the adorable little thing.

“ _Yes, she is...”_ The woman answers thoughtfully. “ _Her name’s Posy_. _And I’m Hazelle. Hazelle Hawthorne.”_ she introduces herself outstretching a hand to Effie.

“ _Effie Trinket. Glad to meet you.”_ she gives back with a smile, shaking her hand warmly. “ _So, you have other children?”_

“ _Ooh yes! Three boys!”_ she laughs. “ _Not a piece of cake...”_

“ _Wow! Congratulations!”_ Effie offers genuinely. She can’t imagine the courage that woman has to raise four children. She isn’t even sure if she would be good with children. The last she had held in her arms was her baby sister and it was 24 years ago.

“ _Thank you. Do you have any yourself?”_ Hazelle asks, with genuine interest.

“ _Oh, no. Not at all.”_ Not ‘at all’? What did she say that?

Hazelle laughs at her (poor) choice of words. “ _Not at all? I am sure you_ _must_ _have a very handsome man at least. Pretty as you are.”_

“ _No, not_ _either.”_ she feels blush coming to her cheeks. Her sentimental life is really not the subject she is the more at ease with. Even more with a woman who has the life she never even dared to dream of...

“ _I cannot believe that!”_ She is saved by the appearance of Lady making eights between Hazelle’s legs. She bends to scratch her neck. “ _Oh hello! You’re very pretty. I know someone who would love to meet you!”_

“ _This is Lady. She is really sweet, never saw her claws. Well except when she wants her food.”_ she jokes.

Portia comes back from her study with a piece of paper for Hazelle. Certainly an estimation for the clothes. She leaves them and cleans up the empty cups. The two women talk for a few minutes and then Hazelle comes back to her counter.

“ _Thank you for the tea and the little break.”_ she says with a big smile. “ _You can’t imagine how good it feels to have an other woman to talk to! Others mothers are all about their children and I really don’t need that. Got enough with my owns!”_ They laughs as she rummages in her purse to find her money.

Then she beams seeing her tray of fresh pastries. “ _Oh my god they look amazing! Can I get a box of those mini croissants and apple turnovers please?”_

“ _Yes, of course! How many do you need?”_

“ _Five of each, please!”_

“ _Here you go!”_ she says handing her the box. “ _I’_ _ve_ _put six of each.”_ She added lower with a wink after Hazelle paid for everything.

“ _You’re an angel!”_ she exclaims as she walks to the door, quickening her pace after looking at her watch. “ _See you on Thursday!”_

After closing the shop that night, her thoughts go back to the grumpy owner of the diner. Haymitch.

She has to admit he is really agreeable to the eyes. And it’s not like they had anything to destroy. They’re not friends, they barely know each other. He doesn’t even know her name. After all, sex is the only men want, right? It wouldn’t change the world. If he has more eyes for her ass than for her then maybe she might have a shot on that area…

And maybe it would give her a little confidence back, knowing that her charms are still effective on men. Maybe that’s what she needs to loosen up and begin to enjoy life again. She wants to have a life full of experience and good memories, like she’s sure this Hazelle woman does.

She’s not jealous, no. She knows it’s too late for her to have that kind of life, and she isn’t made for that. She has been told that enough times at any family gathering. But there are plenty of other ways to accomplish something.

She goes back the next mornings to get her coffee, and sometimes breakfast. She doesn’t always take Portia with her, she needs some calm too. To observe her prey and find a plan of action.

He keeps calling her sweetheart, no matter how many times she rebukes him. And they can’t talk to each other more than three words without ending bickering like children over stupid things. It’s as amusing as it is infuriating.

One day, it’s earlier than usual and she sits at the counter. It’s the first time since their first encounter.

He comes with her cup and her blueberry muffin. “ _Here you go sweetheart.”_

“ _I_ _do_ _have a name you know,_ _Haymitch_ _. You just have to ask.”_

“ _Sweetheart works for me.”_ he replies tuning his back to her to arrange his cups and mugs behind him. Not even an attempt at bickering, not an ounce of sarcasm. This is the most honest and plain he has been with her so far.

She puts the money on the counter with a sigh, and stands up to leave. She is tired and she doesn’t have the strength to fight that day. It’s been four days already that she tries to have a proper conversation with him to no avail. If he is really _that_ not interested, she is not going to lose her time and energy on him any longer.

She thinks the can feel his eyes on her but she isn’t sure, and she doesn’t want to look at him to see his disdainful smirk on his impossible smug face again like everytime he succeed in making her run away from the place. Instead she walks away, her chin up, swaying her hips like she knows perfectly how to do.

“ _It’s Effie.”_ she throws over her shoulder as she crosses the threshold.

xxx

She hasn’t gone back to the diner after that. She had been busy all weekend and to be honest she had been a little mad at him. Even without the whole “competition” feud, what had she done to him to deserve such disrespect and dislike?

But now it was Monday afternoon and she _needed_ that good cup of strong black coffee. Hers had seemed pale in comparison this morning and she was as tired as she would be on a Friday night.

She decides to take a break, Portia can handle the shop alone for half an hour, and makes her way to the diner.

It’s completely different from when she comes in the morning. There are people laughing around a full plate of muffins, children just out from school buying some candies… The whole place seemed much more warm and welcoming. Even Haymitch seems different. He doesn’t grumble at her when she settles on her stool and for the first time she actually gets a polite ‘ _Good afternoon’._ Well, good afternoon ‘ _sweetheart’,_ but she can’t ask for too much…

“ _Can I have a cup of coffee please Haymitch?”_ she asks him petulantly.

“ _Yes of course, Effie!”_ He replies playfully, mimicking her accent and high pitched voice, and turns to fill her cup. That is more familiar.

“ _In a merry mood today aren’t we?”_ she says as she takes her cup.

“ _Had not seen you this morning. I had hoped that you had find a way to make your own coffee and you would finally live me alone.”_ he answers with his infuriating smirk.

“ _Ah ah, very funny.”_ she deadpans. “ _Well, no, I haven’t. That’s why I am here now. Maybe you could give me your secret you know. And I could tell you mine to make your muffin less dry. It would be a win win!”_

“ _Wow oh oh! Stop you right there. What’s wrong with my muffins?”_ he frowns and points a finger at her. She would never have thought he would truly be offended by her teasing. However the offer was genuine, his muffins _were_ a little dry.

She is opening her mouth to speak but she is cut by the doorbell and Haymitch almost running to the door. He holds it while Hazelle and a pack of kids come in. She enters last and shoves a little blond toddler in Haymitch’s arms before diving into the stroller to take the fussing baby – Posy – in her arms.

“ _I am so sorry we’re late, I had to go to the principal’s office. Gale fought with Finnick again.”_ she pants while rocking the baby against her chest.

“ _No problem, you need anything?”_ he replies calmly after planting a kiss on the little girls head.

Effie is watching them from her stool. Of course she should have known. That explained everything, Posy’s grey eyes, Haymitch’s indifference… They are both around the same age, both handsome. She feels a little pang of jealousy. For Haymitch or for the beauty of their family she couldn’t tell. She feels herself becoming red with embarrassment. She was about to make a pass on her only friend in town’s husband. Or boyfriend, she had seen no ring on him. Not that she had looked…

She watches him as he scolds the oldest of Hazelle’s boy and then prepares a cup of coffee for Hazelle. Then she goes back to watch the children. Three black haired boys, the little Posy… but who were the blond toddler and the other girl with the black braid? Why didn’t she mention them the other day? They do not look exactly like the four others. Different fathers maybe…

She is taken out of her reverie by Hazelle coming to sit beside her.

“ _Hi Effie! How are you?”_ she asks her with a big smile.

“ _Oh hi! Well great! Great.”_ she is a little startled but her good education kicks in and she put herself back together. “ _That’s a beautiful family you two have there!_ _You mus_ _t_ _be very happy!_ _”_

Hazelle’s eyes grow so big she is afraid the are going to pop out of her head and Haymitch all but drops the mug he is giving Hazelle. She catches it at the good moment and saves it from a dreadful fate. Just a few drops spilled.

“ _We are not together”_ she laughs. “ _Well, I admit it was easy to assume. But no,_ _not at all.”_ she adds with a strategic emphasis and a wink for Effie, “ _We’re just old friends_. _I_ _only_ _bring back the girls from school with m_ _y boys_ _, it’s easier for Haymitch_ _when he’s working_ _.”_ The commotion has woken up Posy who is fussing again in her mother’s arms. She excuses herself to go get her bottle.

She sees Haymitch behind the counter. Still holding the little girl with one arm and preparing glasses of milk and a plate of cookies. He still has that horrified expression on his face. She feels mortified and knows her cheeks must be crimson red now.

“ _I’m sorry.”_ she tries but he only waves a hand in her direction without a glance. “ _I would never have thought you had children. But now it seems obvious.”_ she adds, looking at how at ease he moves with the toddler sprawled on his shoulder.

Hazelle comes back to the counter to say goodbye before he replies, and then leave with her smaller group of kids.

She stays a little longer than needed, under the pretense of doing some book-keeping. She observes Haymitch taking care of his girls. He still has the little one in his arms as he give the dark-haired one her glass of milk and her cookies and asks her to go do her homework at one of the tables. She sighs and grumbles but execute the order after he tells her something Effie doesn’t hear.

The whole scene is quite endearing. It give him a whole new dimension. He seems softer, kinder, but also much more serious and focused. She is much intrigued now.

Then she remarks the old stuffed cat toy the girl is clutching at her chest. She is nibbling at its ear as she dozes off on Haymitch’s shoulder. She must be the one Hazelle wanted to introduce Lady to then.

Haymitch is navigating easily between the tables with only one free arm, like of it was completely normal for him. He takes orders and serves customers but there is no more joking and easy flirting. No bantering or sarcasm. He is all business now, like if he wanted to give a good example.

Just as she finishes her coffee, the oldest girl finishes her work. She wanders around the diner, looking bored, so Haymitch gives her her sister and asks her to take her upstairs. She holds her sister’s hand tight and they disappear in the stairs behind the counter.

Effie gets up and gather her money to pay for her coffee. Haymitch comes back behind the counter and waits.

“ _You have beautiful daughters.”_ she tells him as she hands him the money.

“ _Thank you, but.. they’re… not mine.”_ he grumbles and stammers a little. She finds that cute.

“ _They are, biology or whatever this is about aside_ _. And they’re really adorable.”_ she says in the softest voice she has ever used with him. She doesn’t want him to feel she’s making fun of him on such a subject. He snorts at that.

“ _You haven’t met Katniss.”_ he mutters as he gives her change. She laughs and retreats.

“ _Goodbye Haymitch.”_

“ _Goodbye sweetheart.”_

For the first time she gets out with a real smile on her lips. Not a _I won this argument_ smug smirk. A real fond smile.

That night she thinks about him. She compares the grumpy, sarcastic man she had first met and fought with, with the affectionate ‘ _not-father’_ she met that day. She comes to the conclusion that he won’t be a man for a one night stand, but it doesn’t make her want to get away from him, in fact, it’s quite the opposite.

xxx

One day the next week, Hazelle comes at the shop during the day with Posy and Haymitch’s little blond girl. Effie welcomes them warmly, she is happy to see Hazelle, she is one of the rare people in the city who genuinely likes Portia and her. The others are mostly interested in the _new girls in town._

“ _Hey! May I present you Primrose Everdeen? Primrose, this is Effie.”_ Hazelle says showing Effie to the little girl.

Effie comes closer and shakes softly the little girl’s hand. She laughs and babbles an adorable “ _Hi, I Pwim”._

“ _Hello Prim, I’m Effie.”_ she beams at the toddler, she is adorable with her blond curls and her little red velvet dress.

“ _She couldn’t go to the nursery because she has a cold, so I thought I would bring her here to console her. So we could have_ _some_ _girl_ _s_ _time together and maybe you could show her Lady. She_ _ador_ _es cats. As you can see.”_ Indeed Prim is still holding her stuffed toy to her chest, it’s almost as tall as her and the sight is absolutely too cute.

“ _Oh yes of course! You know what, we could go behind in the garden it’s still warm and Lady live half of her life there.”_ she says waving at them to follow her.

She brings an extra chair for Prim and they settle there with a pot of tea and a plate of sugar cookies and blackberry cupcakes.

Like she had thought, Lady is sprawled on the grass, looking at something under the bush that Effie can’t see. She goes to take her in her arms and brings her to Prim. The little girl beams at the sight of the big calico cat with her long fur and her squirrel tail.

“ _Prim, this is Lady.”_ the little girl looks at Hazelle, looking for her approbation, Hazelle nods and the girl jumps from her chair into Effie’s arms to take Lady. Fortunaltely Lady is really placid and she lets the little girl pet her and play with her while the two women talk.

“ _Prim, what do you say to Effie?”_ Hazelle chides her gently.

“ _Thank you Effie!”_ she screams holding Lady in one arm and her stuffed toy under the other.

She is lovely. She overhears her talking to Lady and introducing her to her _Buttercup_ while she talks with Hazelle and it makes them both laugh.

After a while, she gathers her courage and asks her about Haymitch and the girls. Telling her he had mentioned they were not ‘ _his’._

Hazelle thinks for a minute before answering, she is struggling with Posy who’s moving while she feeds her.

“ _Well, he wouldn’t like me to talk about that I think but… I think I can say that… He took them in almost two years ago now. He was their closest relative when their parents died. A cousin or something, I’m not sure.”_ she says in a low voice so it wouldn’t carry to the girl.

“ _But Prim she is...”_ Effie gasps. She must have been a baby…

“ _Not even_ _three, yes. She doesn’t remember them, she only knows Haymitch. Katniss is more difficult._ _She was five._ _”_ she says thoughtfully with her eyes on the toddler.

Effie is horrified. She cannot even imagine what these girls have been through… She startles when Hazelle’s phone rings, it’s her job so she has to answer the call.

In the meantime, Effie watches the little girl play with Lady’s fluffy tail.

“ _I’m so sorry Effie, it was supposed to be my day off but one of the old women I take care of just fell and I have to go to help her. Can you watch the girls for me? I’ll be back as soon as I can!”_ she begs her.

“ _Oh yes, no problem don’t worry! Go! I got this!”_ Well, she doesn’t really… she never really had to take care of children before. Even when she was with her sister they always had their governess nearby, and it was so long ago…

“ _Thank you, you’re_ _the best_ _!”_ she shouts as she runs back to the shop and to her car.

Fortunaltely, the girls are angels and the afternoon goes very calmly. Posy sleeps or plays with her rattle most of it and Prim plays with Lady, eats cookies and falls asleep in the big armchair in Portia’s study.

By 4:30, the shop’s phone rings and she answers it. Hazelle asks her to bring the girls to the dinner. She had to go get the kids at school and it would be easier to meet there. She accepts right away. She doesn’t need to be convinced, she was waiting for any excuse to go back to the diner. Not that she wants to see Haymitch, no. She was just stressed to be alone with the girls and she would be reassured to have someone with her, that’s all.

She settles Posy in her stroller, takes a very tired Prim and Buttercup in her arms and walks to the diner.

She arrives there first and Haymitch throws her a puzzled and almost angry look as he comes to her.

“ _What are you doing here?”_ he asks her, still frowning with wariness.

“ _Hazelle was at the shop but she had an emergency and she asked me to watch them.”_ she whispers because Prim is still half asleep on her shoulder.

His eyebrows relax and he takes a deep breath. He goes for taking the girl but when he sees she’s sleeping on Effie’s shoulder he recoils with an eyebrow lifted in surprise.

“ _She had a big day, playing with my cat_ _, running around Portia_ _and eating way too much biscuits.”_ she explains with an apologetic smile and he laughs a little. It’s the first time she sees him doing more than smirk she muses.

Instead he crouches to rock the fussing baby and give her her pacifier. It’s funny to see him like that, tender and with a fond look on his face. A week ago she would have thought it impossible.

He stands back and shows her the closest table. “ _C_ _offee?”_

“ _Yes, thank you.”_ she answers with a smile sitting down slowly not to disturb Prim.

He brings her the coffee to the table and caresses the girl’s blond hair. She doesn’t wake up but she buries her face even further in Effie’s neck. Haymitch walks away, still wearing that fond half-smile on his face. She thinks he doesn’t even realize it.

Hazelle arrives with the rest of the little tribe and takes care of the – again- fussing baby while Haymitch serves everybody cookies. She apologize for the unusual situation and thanks Effie for taking good care of the girls.

Despite all the noise around, Prim doesn’t move from her arms, she can feel she is awake at her breathing and the way she holds her neck in her tiny arms. Haymitch’s smile has disappeared and he watches her with an expression she doesn’t quite know how to decipher from behind the counter but she acts like if she hadn’t noticed, chatting cheerfully with Hazelle.

A few minutes later they are all saying goodbye to each other and Hazelle and her kids are gone, while she is still stuck here with Haymitch and the scowl back on his face. He calls Katniss, gives her her glass of milk and her muffin and tells her something, gesturing toward Effie’s table. Then the young girl comes and sits at her table.

“ _Hello, I’m Katniss.”_ she introduces herself with a pout, like if she had been forced to. Well she certainly had been. Effie shakes her hand and introduces herself back.

Katniss looks at her for a while and Effie feels uncomfortable under her suspicious gaze. She doesn’t completely look like a child, she can see in her eyes that she has grown up too fast. She is definitely a strong and mature little girl. After a while she relaxes and seems to decide that she likes her well enough.

“ _Prim seems to like you so you must not be too bad...”_ she shrugs before going back to her muffin and her homework.

“ _Well, thank you...”_ she replies a little surprised but the girls doesn’t pay attention to her anymore. She can hear Haymitch blowing air from his nose to contain his laugh.

She finishes her cup of coffee and goes to the counter to pay and leave. She has to go back to the shop, she has been away for too long already.

Prim moves in her arms and yawns. She looks at her before snuggling back in her neck.

“ _You smell good.”_ she whispers in her ear like some kind of secret. She laughs and kisses her head lightly. She is falling back to slumber already.

She stands in front of the counter and gives Haymitch his money.

“ _She’s right you know, you’re not that bad.”_ he tells her with a smirk. She huffs. Trust him not to leave that pass.

“ _Why, thank you. Finally you see me at my true value!”_ She jokes with her free hand on her heart. They both laugh as they move to the edge of the counter so he can take the girl in her arms. He suddenly looks less cocky and rubs his nape.

“ _Thank you, for today. She really seem_ _s_ _to have had a good time.”_

“ _Pleasure’s all mine. She is an angel.”_ she replies with a fond smile looking at the little girl.

“ _Yeah.”_ he confirms as he leans to take her from her arms. It’s the closest they have ever been and she can feel goosebumps in her nape, following the path of his breath. She retreats slightly and sees him looking at her with a smirk.

“ _And she is right too...”_ he whispers giving a small head sign toward the toddler in his arms.

Effie clears her throat, feeling strangely self-conscious. “ _Well, thank you for the coffee, goodbye Haymitch. Goodbye Katniss.”_

“ _Goodbye.”_

“ _Bye sweetheart.”_

She gets out without looking back. It’s only once she is safely outside that she tries a glance inside by one of the windows. She sees Haymitch burying his nose in Prim’s hair and kissing her head as he takes her upstairs.

She likes to believe it might be to smell her perfume again..

xxx

On that evening, she is in her apartment with Portia, and they talk around a cup of plant infusion in their pyjamas. And of course the conversation heads to Haymitch and the girls.

“ _You changed your mind about him didn’t you?”_ Portia asks her a lascivious look, wriggling her eyebrows. “ _I didn’t know you were into daddy things...”_

“ _Can you take your mind out of the gutter for five minutes?!”_ she huffs before bursting out laughing.

“ _I mean it though. You changed y_ _o_ _ur mind about him. You do not rant about how rude and neglected he is anymore.”_

“ _Yeah, well. I don’t know.. Maybe seeing him in a different light changed some things, yes.”_ she answers thoughtfully. Her mind back to his eyes on her and the feeling of having him close that afternoon. “ _You should see him when he stops playing the vulgar card, he can actually be quite charming.”_

“ _What? Did he make a move on you that you forgot to tell me about?”_ Portia asks leaning against the counter to inspect her face, frowning and narrowing her eyes. “ _I know when you lie to me Euphemia.”_

“ _No!”_ she huffs without missing a beat, feeling the heat coming to her cheeks. “ _Well not really...”_

“ _Not really?...”_ Portia repeats, skeptical.

“ _Well, he said I was ‘not that bad’.”_ she faces Portia and her lifted eyebrow and sighs. “ _And that he liked my perfume...”_ she surrendered. Waiting for the teasing to come. She knew she would never hear the end of it.

“ _Your perfume? He could smell your perfume?”_

“ _He only came to take Prim from my arms. She was sleeping.”_

Portia is really fixing her flushed face now and she just wants to hide.

“ _You really have a crush on him!”_

“ _No I do not!”_

“ _Yes you do!”_

“ _Portia, No!”_

“ _Okay you don’t.”_ she gives her the point, lifting her hands in surrender. “ _I have to confess something too.”_

“ _Tell me...”_ she is intrigued now, and she is ready to jump on any occasion to switch the subject of her love life.

xxx

It’s Monday morning and she is on her way to the diner.

Her week-end has been quite eventful, they spent the days with Caesar and Claudius for the interview and the article. They had been adorable with them, but it had been exhausting to follow them and their enthusiasm. And their young friend Cressida who took their picture had made them run all over the city to find the perfect scenery.

All in all she thinks it had gone pretty well, but she is a little afraid to see the result.

And right now, what she truly needs is her morning coffee and the company of someone she appreciate.

She enters in the diner. It’s earlier than usual and there are not many people inside. Only Haymitch behind the counter, the girls taking their breakfast, and two other clients she had never seen before. A middle aged man with a thick brown beard, and a thin woman in her late forties with grey hair and grey eyes. She stands straight and serious and seems cold. Effie feels a shiver down her spine when she looks at her with her piercing milky grey gaze.

She turns back toward the counter and sees Haymitch fixing her with an amused smirk.

“ _Good morning, Euphemia.”_ he greets her, containing a laugh. She sighs as she spots the newspaper on the corner of a table.

“ _Oh no... They used my full name?”_ she winces as she tears the pages to find the article.

“ _Come on princess, it’s not that bad..”_ he laughs, putting a fresh cup of coffee in front of her.

“ _Princess now? To what do I owe… Oh!”_ she gasps when she sees the main picture in the center of the page. Her high school Homecoming Queen picture… with her too dark foundation, her glittery eyeshadow and her ridicule crown around her tight hairdo… How did they even get it?

“ _Well Homecoming Queen was too long, Laura Palmer too creepy and Prim insisted you looked like a princess, so… Princess it is!”_ he shrugs nonchalantly.

She rolls her eyes and shushes him so she can read in peace. She really hopes the article will make up for this outrage!

She reads it silently, sipping her coffee and biting her thumb nail. She doesn’t even realizes she is doing it until she feels Haymitch’s hand tugging on her arm. Hopefully, the article is good, it shows her under the right light and not like the latest freak in town like she had feared. She relaxes and asks Haymitch for a refill.

She almost jumps in fright when she sees the _grey woman_ appearing from nowhere at her side. She is gauging her and her gaze is everything but kind. When Haymitch sees her he frowns and comes closer.

“ _What do you want Alma?”_ he asks her harshly. He doesn’t seem to appreciate her much either.

“ _I’d like to pay.”_ she answers and hands him some money. Then she turns back toward her and outstretches her hand. “ _I am Alma Coin, the director of the real estate agency.”_

Oh, yes she must have seen her name somewhere on the papers when she had bought the shop. Hopefully she hadn’t had to deal with her directly, her associate Boggs had been a far more pleasant encounter.

She shakes her hand and introduces herself needlessly.

“ _Effie Trinket, glad to meet you.”_ she tries to smile but it feels strained even to her.

“ _I hope you are enjoying the town Miss Trinket._ _To the pleasure of seeing you again_ _.”_ she says taking her change on the counter before turning around and walking to the door. She all politeness and propriety, but it’s so cold it becomes frightening.

When she opens the door she falls face to face with an older man on his way to enter. He must be in his late fifties with totally white hair and beard. They both froze at the sight of each other.

“ _Alma. What a pleasure meeting you here.”_ he tells her with a big smile tilting his head slightly to the side.

“ _Corry. I did not expect you here.”_ she replies with a fake smile of her own.

Effie feels strangely ill-at-ease but she cannot take her eyes away from this enthralling scene. It’s like witnessing a train wreck.

“ _Well, I should have known I would find you here. You’re still hooked on this beverage are you?”_

“ _Maybe I am. You should be careful though, you know it’s dangerous for old hearts.”_

“ _Since when do you care about my heart, dear?”_

“ _Since_ _I learn_ _ed_ _I could destroy it._ _”_ with those words, she walks passed him and leaves without a glance back.

The man enters and salutes her with a wide carnivorous smile. She has to admit she begins to be afraid and to regret coming this morning. If she was falsely polite, he is falsely cordial. She has yet to decide which one is the worst.

“ _The famous Miss Trinket, I presume.”_ he states as he shakes her hand. He quickly throws a glance at Haymitch but doesn’t give him a word. Instead he goes back to Effie. “ _I am Coriolanus Snow. Congratulation for the article, it was quite entertaining.”_

She couldn’t say why but she doesn’t hear it as a compliment.

“ _Well, thank you M. Snow.”_

His faces close as he takes the cup of coffee from Haymitch’s hand but, his smile reappears when his eyes fall on Effie again. “ _If you need anything, you’re welcome in my pawnshop_ _my dear_ _.”_ He says as he hands her his card. “ _I hope we’ll meet again, it’s been a pleasure.”_

She waits until the door has closed on his back to release the breath she had been holding all along. She shudders and hears Haymitch laugh sympathetically next to her.

“ _Divorced. Now they’re fighting for ’who owns the most of the town’. For now, Snow wins…_ ” he explains her. “ _Two snakes together… couldn’t end well...”_ he adds thoughtfully.

She scoffs at that, still horrified by the encounter. She prays that she won’t ever have to see any of them again.

“ _Don’t worry princess, as long as you don’t have money problems, there’s no reason for you to see them.”_ he reassures her, like if he could read in her mind. She doesn’t answer and simply keeps drinking her coffee.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Haymitch clears his throat and leans over the counter to look at the article.

“ _You do look like a princess you know.”_ he says.

She thanks him hesitantly, not really sure it’s a compliment in his mouth. And she happens to be right because he continues teasing her.

“ _You look... stuck up. With too much makeup. A ridiculous dress… Yeah, a real princess!”_ he laughs.

She knows he is trying to coax a response out of her with falsely mean gibes. To make her jump on the occasion to bicker.

“ _The typical spoiled rich brat who never needed anything in her life.”_ He continues.

She knows perfectly he is mostly joking and that it’s not meant to hurt, but she can’t help herself. She takes it the wrong way. It hits too close from home.

She doesn’t answer right away. Searching for a good word to retort. But she takes too much time and he keeps going.

“ _You didn’t change that much though. You still have a thing for ridiculous clothes and makeup.”_

She laughs to hide her hurt, but it still stings, especially considering that she makes most of her clothes herself, or Portia does. She sees his smirk disappear as he picks up on her strained smile and fake laugh. It sounded wrong even to her.

“ _Princess...”_ he is interrupted by the door slamming open on Hazelle, running inside to urge the girls outside. She just pecks Effie’s cheek, congratulate her for the article and excuse her lateness in a breath, and the next second she is gone with the girls.

She drinks the lasts drops of her coffee in one gulp and stands up.

“ _Effie...”_ he sighs, looking truly sorry. But she doesn’t give him time to finish, she won’t acknowledge her humiliation.

“ _It’s alright! I_ _simply_ _need to go back to the shop, I’ll be late,_ _Portia isn’t here this morning_ _and I still have a batch of cookie to make! See you later.”_ she babbles with the best smile she can draw on her face as she hands him the money and runs outside.

She spends the whole walk to the shop wondering what’s wrong with her. She knows that he always teases her and it had never bothered her before, she always had something to retort, even when it was about her appearance so that wasn’t the problem. It had more to see with the use of the new moniker having a negative connotation in his mind and his mouth. And because he wasn’t entirely wrong. he would have been right a few years ago. But she is a completely different person now and she hates being dragged back then… She would have never thought he would think that of her just because she takes care of her appearance. She thought he knew her a little better than that now.

The rest of this rainy day goes as usual. They get few customers and are debating about closing earlier because of the early falling night and the dreadful weather when the doorbell rings. She comes back inside the boutique to find Haymitch there with the girls.

“ _Oh, good afternoon! What can we do for you?”_ she greets them with her best commercial smile.

“ _Hum, Katniss torn her coat and_ _hum,_ _she needs hems. And Prim harassed me to go see Lady again so...”_ he stammers, rubbing his neck with his free hand.

“ _Oh! Yes of course! No problem!”_ she replies, a little surprised. She really doesn’t know what to say to him. She feels ridiculous for her behavior that morning…

“ _Oh, hello!”_ Portia comes to her rescue from her study. She goes to Katniss. “ _So I heard you needed my help?”_ The girl nods with a guilty pout. “ _Come with me.”_ Portia drives her and her bag to her study, she glances behind her shoulder to wink at Effie.

Now they are alone, and an unpleasant silent settles in the room. After a second she comes back to herself.

“ _Oh yes, Lady! Hum, she must be here I think.”_ she says, waving her hand showing him to follow her.

Indeed, Lady is there, sleeping in the shelves under the stairs leading to their apartments. Prim squeals in delight the moment she spots her and almost jumps from Haymitch’s arms. He puts her down and she runs toward the cat. She doesn’t pay any attention to them anymore.

“ _Thank you.”_ he tells her with a small smile. She simply smiles back, there is not much more to say.

“ _Haymitch...”_ she begins but he speaks at the same time.

“ _Princess...”_ she snorts at the return of the infamous pet name. She need a little time to gather her thought and think about the words she’ll use.

“ _I’ll go make some tea.”_ she declares. He lifts his hand to stop her but she’s already gone.

She comes back with two mugs of steaming green tea. She opens her mouth to speak first but he cuts her, lifting a hand in front of her face.

“ _Listen, I really didn’t mean to vex you or hurt your feelings, sweetheart. It was just a joke. A stupid one maybe but...”_ he says, and she can see a slight blush creeping on his cheeks.

She cuts him and puts him out of his misery. It’s obvious that he’s not used to apologies.

“ _It was not that. I know what I’m worth in terms of beauty, I do not need your opinion on that.”_ she says with a sly smile. He laughs a little and seem to relax a bit. “ _It just that… I didn’t expect the term ‘princess’ to be such a foul word for you. And I don’t like people assuming things about me like that.”_

“ _I didn’t mean it to sound like an insult. Really. I’m sorry.”_ he says, putting his hand on her shoulder. He takes it away immediately but she can still feel the warmth of his hand lingering on her skin through the wool of her red turtleneck.

She smiles back at him and they stay silent a moment, watching Prim squeezing Lady in her tiny arms.

“ _How wrong was I?”_ he finally asks. Looking curiously at her.

“ _Not that much. In a way.”_ she answers keeping her eyes on the little girl. “ _I was rich, and I did have everything served to me on a silver plate. For a while.”_ she stops for a second. Thinking about what she should tell him and what she should keep for herself. “ _I have even been a model when I was young.”_ he huffs that she is still young, but she waves that remark away and continues. “ _But it doesn’t mean I was happy like that. And anyway it’s over now._ _I hate that you see me like this. I know what real life is, you know, I’m not just that ‘spoiled brat’ as you say._ _”_

She doesn’t realize her voice is wavering and tears are pooling in her eyes until she feels Haymitch’s hand on her arm again and she stops talking.

“ _I’m sorry Princess. I really didn’t mean any of it.”_ he says in a low regretful voice, frowning and stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “ _Well, except the clothing part. Seriously what are those?”_ he asks pointing at the big pearls on her skirt belt.

This times she knows he is joking and she laughs with him. He is still holding her hand but she doesn’t comment on it. She doubts he realizes it.

Then they fall in silence again but this time it’s comfortable. Only broken by Prim babbling and laughing.

Suddenly they hear hurried footsteps behind them, and Katniss barges in to show him her freshly mended coat and the little black bird Portia had embroidered on her tee-shirt.

They go back to the shop and she sees Haymitch taking his wallet out of his jacket.

“ _Oh no no! It’s on me! I insist!”_ she says stopping him with a hand on his arm. Then she goes back behind the counter and takes two chocolate cookies she hands to the girls. They both jump on her to thank her and take their gift.

“ _No really, you don’t have to do this.”_ he says, shuffling awkwardly on his feet.

“ _It’s my pleasure. As a gift_ _to win the loyalty of my customers”_ she says with a wink. “ _Don’t worry, I won’t spoil them.”_ she adds for him only and he looks at her with an exasperated and embarrassed look.

“ _I really didn’t...”_ he begins but she doesn’t let him finish.

“ _I know._ _They_ _won’t_ _be good to_ _sell tomorrow anyway. You’re saving me from a waste of perfectly good food. Or from ten extra minutes of running on Sunday morning.”_ she jokes to lighten the mood.

It works for a while, but then she feels him tense again.

“ _Not that you would need it.”_ he says. She believes he means the running part. “ _You’re much better now anyway.”_ he adds as he follows the girls outside.

He means prettier than on her pictures she presumes. It’s clumsy but she can’t help finding his attempt at flirting with her cute.

She waves them goodbye by the window and turns over. She ends up face to face with Portia and her cunning grin.

She won’t hear the end of this…

xxx


	2. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome welcome in this second part of my Christmas story!  
> As usual, I really hope you’ll enjoy it! xxx

**October**

Effie is in her best mood on this Sunday afternoon.

It’s pouring rain outside, she is in her comfiest outfit, chilling, watching her favorite show while letting her nail polish dry when Portia suddenly barges in, all excited.

“ _Hey what’s going on? Is everything alright?”_ She asks her friend as she jumps in the armchair in front of her.

“ _I was at the grocery store and… Remember that guy I told you about?”_ she nods. The famous guy in his leather jacket on his motorcycle … “ _Well, we met there, we talked and he asked me out. On Tuesday!”_ She stops waiting for Effie’s reaction.

She stares at her with her mouth gaping for a second but then they’re both screaming like teenagers.

“ _Oh Portia that’s great!”_ she says. But then she takes in a deep breath as panic comes over her – why _her?_ She isn’t the one going on a date that’s ridiculous… “ _But what are you gonna wear? Your makeup? Hairstyle? And what are you gonna do? There is no fancy restaurant… The best one out there is Haymitch’s diner….”_

They spend the whole evening debating over clothes and hairstyles and taking care of themselves. Imagining how their dream date would go like. She gathers a few information about her friend’s crush along the way. His name is Cinna, he works in town as a mechanic but he takes correspondence courses in management to launch his own brand of clothing, and Portia insists all that it must mean he’s very good with his hands...

xxx

It’s the big day.

It’s Tuesday afternoon, and at 3:30 she is already sitting at Haymitch’s counter with her mug of coffee. They had to close the shop early because the water from the rain had flooded the kitchen floor. Fortunately they had managed to stop it at that.

So there she is, trying to forget her dreadful day by reading a fashion magazine and trying to be happy for her best friend. But she knows peace usually doesn’t last, and her phone rings. That’s really not her day…

“ _Hello Ez, to what do I owe the honor?”_ her brother rarely calls her, and it’s never for pleasant matters.

“ _Hello Euphemia. How are you doing?”_ he asks politely but she knows it’s more a matter of propriety and he doesn’t really care.

“ _Absolutely great, thank you dear.”_ she answers trying to make him hear her hypocrite smile. “ _I doubt you are calling to inquire about me though.”_

And here it goes… of course she knew, but she answered anyway…

She hangs up with a deep sigh. Haymitch is watching her with an eyebrow lifted in question, but Portia appears beside her before she has time to explain.

“ _Let me guess, Mr Perfect again?”_ she tells her with a smile.

“ _How did you know?”_ she laugh sarcastically.

“ _Your face.”_ she guesses it’s a good enough clue... “ _So, what was it this time?”_ Portia asks. Always eager for new gossips.

“ _Who’s Mr Perfect?”_ Haymitch’s asks. The two girls turn toward him, Portia with a hardly hidden grin and Effie with a kind smile. He lifts his hands to defend himself “ _Just to know...”_

“ _My brother.”_ she laughs, putting him out of his misery. She ignores Portia’s chuckles and continues. “ _It was about one of his_ _associates_ _,_ _a_ _brilliant manager, who_ _saw a picture of me and_ _wanted to meet me.”_ she explains with a fake smile.

“ _Bu_ _u_ _ut...”_

“ _But he’s over forty, divorced -three times-, certainly potbellied and half-bald.”_ she answers flatly. “ _Oh!_ _A_ _nd with two complaint for domestic abuse and harassment_ _against him_ _.”_

“ _But she_ _was completely crazy and only_ _did it for the money, of course.”_ Portia adds with faked seriousness.

“ _Naturally!”_ she responds in the same tone before they burst out laughing.

It had become a private joke between them. Her brother would always call her to match her with some guy deemed good enough to give her her place back in the family, and they would laugh of him afterward. A way of dismissing the tension and making her forget she wasn’t welcomed there anymore. Except as an exemplary trophy wife.

“ _So I imagine you said yes, darling.”_

“ _Absolutely! Exactly my kind of man!”_

She can see Haymitch smirking and shaking his head at their antics further down the counter. She isn’t sure, but she thinks she can see a hint of relief on his face. He had seemed a little worried with his earlier comment.

“ _Anyway. You’re the one that matters today._ _It’s date night!_ ” she says, bringing back the conversation to a real subject of importance.

“ _Oh yes, I was on my way home, I just wanted to take a quick coffee.”_ she answers winking at Haymitch who immediately goes get her a to-go cup. “ _You’ll come to help me later, right?”_

“ _Yes of course! I won’t be long.”_

“ _Thanks!”_ she squeals as she takes the cup Haymitch is handing her. A peck on Effie’s cheek and she’s out.

“ _Who’s she going out with?”_ Haymitch asks her.

“ _Cinna. Do you know him?”_ she inquires after seeing his understanding smirk growing on his face.

“ _Yes, he works with a friend. Handsome guy, quite a seducer...”_

“ _What do you mean?”_ She frowns. She doesn’t want Portia to get hurt by some Don Juan.

“ _Oh no, don’t worry. Not like that. He’s_ _great. R_ _eal gentleman.”_ she hums but she isn’t entirely convinced. She’s a little worried now. “ _No, Chaff’s the only Don Juan around here.”_ he adds thoughtfully with an amused smirk.

“ _Oh maybe you should introduce us then. I happen to be in need of husband apparently.”_ she’s joking but his laugh sounds a bit bitter and strained. She takes a sip of her coffee. “ _H_ _ow do you do it?”_ she sighs.

“ _Do what?”_

“ _Your coffee! What’s your secret?”_ There must be something, she had tried but she had always failed to make something even slightly resembling to his coffee.

“ _Never cleaned the pot.”_ he shrugs. Then he lifts his eyes to her mouth gaping in horror and laughs. “ _Relax princess, I’m joking.”_ she breaths and feels a little silly to have believed him. “ _I don’t know, I don’t do anything special. Just like Sae taught me, that’s all.”_

“ _You’re an idiot.”_ she laughs but still sulking a little.

“ _You’re way too easy to tease. Too tempting.”_ he winks with his infuriating smirk.

“ _Rude...”_ she mutters with a pout and finishes her coffee. Just as she stand and rummages in her purse to find money, Hazelle comes in with the children, all soaking wet.

Effie says Hi to everybody and then sighs, looking by the window, thinking that she’ll have to walk back under this downpour.

“ _You can wait here until it calms down.”_ Haymitch says behind her, as if he had -again – read her mind.

“ _I can’t, I need to help Portia. Cinna’s coming at six thirty.”_ she reluctantly refuses. She wouldn’t have refused staying a little longer in his company.

“ _That’s in two hour.”_ he replies, as if she was stupid.

“ _Precisely!”_ she answers with the same ‘ _duh_ ’ tone. “ _Bye!”_ she says as she takes her impulse before going out. She can see him shaking his head from the corner of her eyes while she tries not to fall in her absolutely not weather adapted boots.

She helps Portia getting prefect for her date and spies Cinna when he comes to get her on his shiny bike. She declares him very handsome and looking like a nice man, she encourages her stressed friend to go and have fun.

Once she is alone, she settle in her living room, with TV as a background noise and decides to do some online shopping. It’s only when she wants to pay for her purchase that she realize she doesn’t have her wallet.

She tries to reason before panicking and the most likely is that she lost it at the diner. So she takes her phone and calls there.

“ _The Hob diner.”_

“ _Haymitch? It’s me, Effie.”_

“ _Hey Princess, miss me already?”_

“ _No, hum…_ _D_ _id you find a wallet this afternoon? A red one?”_ she asks, full of hope. If it’s not there it’s lost forever. Ruined somewhere in a ditch.

“ _With glitters and_ _big_ _fake flowers? Yes I did. I figured it was yours. Could have been Prim’s but I doubt she would need what’s inside though.”_

“ _Oh my god! Did you look inside?”_ she gasps in horror, blushing crimson thinking about the old pictures and the condom Portia had forced her to take ‘ _for_ _precaution’_ months ago. It might even be out of date now…

“ _Didn’t mean to pry.”_ he laughs. She hates to hear his mocking voice and not being there to punch him in person. “ _I needed to know whose it was_ _to return it_ _._ _No_ _judgment._ _”_

“ _Yes well…Could you give it to Portia tonight? They’_ _re_ _coming_ _to eat at your place.”_ she is too embarrassed to put even a toe there. Not for ten years a least.

“ _You’re sure you don’t want_ _to come get it_ _?_ _Or I could bring it back to you..._ _”_ she can hear and picture his infuriating smug face.

“ _Haymitch...”_ she scolds him without much heat. She’s mortified and it sounds more whining than angry. She can hear him laugh from afar.

“ _Alright Princess, I will, don’t worry.”_ he reassures her in a kinder voice. “ _The offer was genuine though.”_

“ _Goodbye Haymitch...”_ she says as she lowers her phone to hang up.

“ _Bye Princess.”_ she hears him laugh before hitting the button.

He can’t stop playing this half flirting game lately and she doesn’t know what to do with that. Since the accidental ‘baby sitting’, she can feel something changed in his mind about her. A part of her really wants to enter the game, but the other is too afraid to screw everything up and ruin her life here. Maybe he just want to be friends and nothing more.

She has to keep her expectations under control. She doesn't want to misunderstand his intention like she used to do before, and feel like the idiot again.

xxx

The next week, autumn truly begins to settle in town. The weather is cold, rainy, the trees are taking warm colors and peoples are decorating their houses.

It’s the season of soft blankets, big scarfs, hot chocolates and pumpkin spiced things.

It’s her favorite period of the years and nothing could taint her good mood. Not even Haymitch taunting and teasing.

That in this state of mind she makes her way to the diner on that fine Friday morning. The sun isn’t completely up yet, and she follows the puffs of her breath escaping in the deep orange sky. She is sporting her happiest smile when she reaches Haymitch’s door, thinking about the hot coffee and sweet blueberry muffin waiting for her inside.

This smile fades quickly when she hears the shouts and spots Haymitch in a screaming match with an older man. The others customers do not seem disturbed by the fight, but she feels her heart tighten at seeing Haymitch red with fury. She had never seen him like this, even when Snow or Coin were purposely trying to get on his nerves.

She slowly gets in, not wanting him to remark her and become the prey of his wrath.

“ _Fuck off, Plutarch, I don’t give a shit about your damn_ _decoration thing._ _”_

“ _Haymitch come on, this is not such a big deal...”_ the man, Plutarch – the name rings a bell but she cannot recall where she heard it- doesn’t seem shaken by the furious man screaming on him. He even looks amused, keeping a nice commercial smile on.

“ _I. Won’t. Do. It!”_ Haymitch screams with an _end of the conversation_ tone, and disappears in the kitchen.

The man refuse to be defeated and tries another time to convince Haymitch of she-knows-what.

“ _Come on Haymitch, maybe it’s time to...”_

This time Haymitch’s face is colored a deep red when he emerges from the kitchen and he seems completely mad. Even Plutarch recoils, aware he has crossed some kind of line.

“ _OUT! NOW!”_

This time he lifts his hands in a gesture of peace and retreats out of the diner. “ _I’m sure you’ll hear reason one day Haymitch.”_

The glass he was holding shatters in tiny pieces in his hand. He runs in the back with a string of profanities.

She waits until she can’t hear him before moving. She had been frozen next to the door the whole time. She goes, sits carefully at the counter and waits.

He comes back a few minutes later with his hand wrapped in a cloth. She can see that his hands are still slightly shaking, from the anger of the pain of the cuts.

“ _Hey, sweetheart.”_ he grumbles after taking a few deep breath to calm down.

“ _Hello.”_ she answers softly. Not wanting to trigger a new outburst. “ _Are you okay?”_ she asks nodding to his hand.

“ _Yeah. It’s nothing.”_ he waves her concern away. “ _I’ll get you_ _r_ _order.”_

She hadn’t ordered anything yet but she always asks for the same thing.

He comes back with her coffee and her muffin. She thanks him and eats silently, paying more attention to her phone than to him to hide her uneasiness. She wouldn't go as far as saying she’s afraid but it’s quite close, she’s really shaken.

Apparently she fails, or he gets better at reading her mind, because she feels his hand on her arm. She lifts her head to his concerned face.

“ _Hey.. sorry about that. Didn’t mean to cause a scen_ _e but… I_ _t’s the same every year_ _and_ _...”_ he has a hard time choosing his words. Like if he really wanted to apologize but doesn’t know how.

“ _It’s okay, really.”_ she smiles. She knows it doesn’t hide the fear in her eyes but it seems enough for him. “ _Who was he? I’ve heard his name before but I can’t remember when_ _or where._ _”_

“ _The mayor.”_ he answers. “ _He’s a nice man. But he care_ _s_ _more about his own interest than about peoples opinions.”_ he adds bitterly, his eyes lost in the void.

She nods. It makes sense. She must have read or heard his name somewhere, but she had never met him.

She keeps distracting him from his anger with some stupid small talk while she finishes her breakfast.

By the time she leaves the dinner, they’re bickering again like if anything had happened.

Her day goes as any other day. She bakes and takes care of the customers while Portia jumps everywhere, all excited because Cinna invited her for an other date.

At the end of the day, she closes the shop and climbs up the stairs to her apartment when she hears the phone ring. She gets back downstairs to answer it, cursing whoever cannot read their hours of opening.

“ _I’m really sorry but we’re closing and...”_

“ _Yeah, I’m sorry princess but this was the only number I had so...”_

“ _Oh, Haymitch! How can I help you?”_ she wasn’t expecting him to call her so late.

“ _Well, I need to ask you a favor. Katniss came back from school sick and I can’t close the diner like that. I would have called Hazelle but her kids are sick too, and Sae she’s too old so...”_ he’s stammering, not knowing how to ask her help. She finds that cute and decides to tease him a little longer.

“ _Soo… You need me tooo….”_ she begins but waits for him to fill in the blanks.

“ _I need you to keep an eye on the girls. It won’t be long, I’ll close as soon as I can I promise.”_ he’s practically begging her, like if she could refuse.

“ _Don’t worry, I’m coming. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!”_

“ _Thanks sweetheart.”_ He sounds like if he had admitted something huge. Maybe trusting her enough to entrust her the girl _was_ a huge thing for him.

She hangs up and runs upstairs. She gives food to Lady and exchanges her dress for some more comfortable clothes. She opts for some black leggings, a sport tank top -that allows her the happiness of not wearing a bra- and an oversized white sweater.

Then she drives to the diner to win some time. When she arrives, Haymitch leads her upstairs, thanking her again for coming, looking all embarrassed and flushed. He shows her around quickly around the apartment and then goes to tell the girls she’s going to stay with them tonight. She uses this time to inspect his flat.

It’s much bigger than she had imagined. It has a large living room, with a separated kitchen and dining room. Behind a closed door is Haymitch’s bedroom and next to it a quite spacious bathroom. The most surprising thing is the mezzanine open on the living room, where are the girls bedrooms and their small bathroom. It’s all clean but it feels lived in, like a real family house. There are some of Prim’s toys all around the room, some dishes in the sink, a few of Katniss’s books forgotten on the coffee table…

Haymitch comes back down, gives some advice to take care of the girls and runs back downstairs to the diner after thanking her for the hundredth time.

She immediately goes upstairs to see Katniss. She’s reading a book in her bed, still feeling a little nauseous but she asks her something to eat so she considers it as a good sign.

She takes Prim with her downstairs so she can keep an eye on her while she cooks them dinner. She leaves her to play with her stuffed toys in the living room and she goes to the kitchen to have a look in the fridge. She goes for chicken breasts with lemon and herbs with rice and a side salad.

She eats first with Prim in the kitchen and then brings her plate to Katniss in her room along with her medication. She doesn’t eat everything but she feels a little better afterwards.

The next time she goes up to inquire about her, she finds her peacefully asleep.

She gets back in the living room with Prim. She watches her play for a while, but soon the little girl begins to yawn and comes to her with a storybook and asks her to read for her.

Effie asks her to choose her favorite one and they settle on the couch. She lies in the big cushions and takes the little girl on her lap so that she can see the illustrations on the book.

She listens attentively for a while, nibbling at Buttercup’s ear, but quickly falls asleep, snuggled against Effie’s side. She doesn’t dare to move, afraid she would wake her, so she simply holds her close, takes her phone and scrolls on Instagram and Pinterest.

She wakes up in a daze, not knowing where she is or when she is.

Then she comes back to herself and realizes the girl isn’t in her arms anymore. Her heart misses a beat, but as she jumps in a siting position she feels a heavy blanket pooling on her legs. Then she hears what must have woken her up in the first place.

Haymitch.

She hears noises of someone doing the dishes in the kitchen. She feels immediately guilty, she intended to do it instead of falling asleep on his couch.

She takes her phone to check the time. Eleven thirty. She has only been asleep about forty-five minutes.

She rubs a hand on her face to wake her up a little better and gets up, heading for the kitchen. She realizes too late that she must have smudged her makeup, she considers making a quick stop in the bathroom but he has already seen her.

“ _Hey! Sorry Princess, didn’t mean to wake you.”_ he calls her in a low voice, smiling at her.

“ _No, it’s me who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, it’s rude...”_ she says, coming closer to help him with the dishes.

“ _No big deal.”_ he dismisses her concern, then picks up on what she’s doing. “ _Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it.”_

“ _No, I insist! I should have done it.”_

He sighs and gives her a cloth so she can dry the plates. They work silently for a few minutes.

“ _Thank you again for tonight.”_ he says softly, shuffling on his feet.

“ _It was a pleasure. They are both angels.”_

“ _Yeah.”_ he chuckles fondly. “ _Apparently you’re one too. According to Prim. She couldn’t stop babbling about how good you smelled and how soft your hair was_ _when I carried her to bed_ _.”_ he adds playfully. She blushes a little, flattered to feel his gaze lingering on her as he speaks. _“_ _Can’t say ‘bout the hair, but I agree on the perfume though.”_ he shrugs.

This time she feels the heat in her cheeks and chuckles like a teenager, not looking at him.

But then she feels him closer. She can feel the warmth coming from his body right beside her.

She turns her head suddenly to look at him and their eyes lock, their faces just inches from each other. They get even closer, without noticing it, until their almost touching. She can feels his breath on her skin. He smells like coffee, soap and a bit salty from the sweat of a day of work.

They don’t say anything but their eyes flutter between the other eyes and their mouth and Haymitch leans in a little. She follows and their lips are almost brushing when they are torn from their bubble by a noise upstairs.

They both startle and run upstairs to Katniss’s room.

The poor girl is sitting on her bed, crying, with the basin full of vomit at her feet. Effie goes to her directly and take her to her bathroom to clean up while Haymitch cleans the mess in her room. Then she takes the girl back to bed and helps her going back to sleep. She sings her the lullaby she used to sing to her sister as she braids her long black hair, and stays with her until she falls into slumber again.

She gets up and finds Haymitch watching her from the bedroom door. They don’t say anything before they’re back in the living room. She wouldn’t say the ambiance is awkward but there is something uncomfortable lingering in the air between them. Like something left unsaid.

She clears her throat.

“ _I guess I should go.”_ she whispers.

“ _Yes.”_ he replies, but he is betrayed by his body. His eyes clearly don’t mean it, and his body comes closer to hers on its own volition. They are facing each other once again, attracted like magnets.

She breaks the spell by taking a step back, licks her lips and he clears his throat. He follows her downstairs without a word, and watches her while she puts on her boots and her coat, clearly enjoying the view.

“ _Thank you. Again. For tonight.”_ he tells her, before blushing and adding “ _They really seem to like you._ _God knows why..._ _”_ he mutters the last part to lighten the ambiance and go back to a more familiar ground.

She smirks as she hears what he doesn’t say. Using the girls to speak about him is not really the smoothest move, but she can go with that.

“ _Thank you_. _I really like them too.”_

She turns back toward him one last time, and this time he lifts a hand to tuck a wayward strand of her hair back behind her ear. He lingers a little on her cheek and she leans in his touch.

“ _Goodnight princess.”_

“ _Goodnight Haymitch.”_ she smiles before closing the door behind her.

On her way back she hesitates between telling Portia about the night or keeping that for herself for now. Maybe she had the wrong impression, maybe it was only on her side, maybe exhaustion won over her best reasonable self and she dreamed it all. Maybe he had only been friendly.

She decides to keep it to herself for now, at least until things get clearer or until something else -more – happens.

And she clearly hopes for that last option.

xxx

She doesn’t see Haymitch the next couple of days, he has exceptionally closed the diner to take care of his girls. She thinks about calling to take news, but she would hate him to misinterpret her intentions and think she’s too clingy.

She still believe that she might have given herself ideas the other day.

Instead, she distracts her mind by taking a walk in town and doing some shopping.

She takes her time to feel the cold wind on her face, smell the petrichor in the air after the rain, and enjoy the warm colors of the leaves in the park.

She stops a few time in some shops, and finds some pretty things to buy -a darling golden bracelet with carved little flowers, some woolen tights and socks, and a plain black blouse she intends to customize. Then she ends her day with one last detour at the grocery store.

She is on her way back home with all her bags when she passes in front of Haymitch’s diner.

From the other side of the road, she can see the back door opening on Haymitch and an older woman behind him. When she spots her, the old woman’s face lightens and she gives her a kind smile. Effie smiles back, a little embarrassed by the attention, but comes to them when Haymitch beckons her to approach.

“ _Hey sweetheart, this is Sae.”_

Oh! This is the famous Sae then. She seems like a very nice woman, in her late seventies, thin, with her grey hair gathered in a messy bun, and leaning on a cane. She is beaming at her with a yellow smile with a few broken teeth.

“ _Oh! I’m Effie Trinket, I’m delighted to meet you!”_ she smiles, giving her her hand. Instead the woman brings her closer and takes her in a short but warm embrace.

“ _I’m so happy to finally meet you my dear! I’ve heard so much about you already!”_ she laughs. She immediately understands why everybody in town consider her as their _grandma._ She is all kindness and benevolence, with this sparkle of concern in the back of her eyes.

“ _Good things I hope!”_ she jokes, glancing quickly at Haymitch and his permanent smirk.

“ _Oh yes, nothing but good!”_ she laughs, eyeing the two of them with a look that is not without reminding her of the ones Portia throws in their direction when she thinks Effie doesn’t see her. “ _I’m gonna leave you two together now, I have a show to watch at home, I don’t want to miss it! Hope I’ll see you both again soon!”_ She says with a pointed gaze in Haymitch direction. He rubs in neck and simply waves goodbye at Sae, and she feels herself blushing again.

After a beat, she turns back to face Haymitch with a smile, hiding her embarrassment.

“ _Is Katniss better?”_ she asks to break the uneasy silence.

“ _Yeah, she’s much better. Sae’s tricks worked magic.”_

“ _Good.”_

A few seconds pass and she is about to say goodbye when he inhales sharply.

“ _Do you want to come up?”_ he blurts out. “ _Hum, the girls would be happy to see you. Prim mostly.”_

She wonders if he’s using the girls to talk about himself again. Anyway, she’d love to see the girls too so she accepts, and minutes later she finds herself crouching in his living room with two girls hanging at her neck.

She stands back up and feels Katniss’s hand taking hers and dragging her to the couch. They both sit, and the girl faces her with a very serious business face.

“ _Effie, I need your help.”_

“ _Oh, serious business. What do you need my dear?”_ she asks her back in an equally serious tone.

“ _Haymitch won’t buy me a Halloween costume so I need you to make one for me.”_ it sounds almost like an order and Haymitch rebukes her, asking her to be polite.

Effie is more amused than vexed, but she appreciate the fact that Haymitch cares about the girls good education. The little girl rolls her eyes and pouts but softens her face when she goes back to Effie.

“ _Please. Last year was lame and all the other kids made fun of me.”_ She can see the confession costs the girl, so she leans toward her.

“ _Alright, tell me what you want.”_ she whispers softly to her.

“ _I want to be a fire bird! Like the one in the book!”_ she explains, taking her book of fairy tales and showing her the illustration of the old Russian tale. She smiles and nods at everything the girl tells her, but she can feels Haymitch gaze burning her nape.

“ _I’ll see with Portia to make you the best costume you’ve ever seen!”_ she tells the girl. It’s the first time she sees her smiling for real.

Haymitch must have been waiting for them to finish their very important conversation, because it’s the moment he chooses to appear with Prim in one arm and a tray full of hot beverages in the other. Black tea from them and hot cocoa with tiny marshmallows for the girls.

They talk for a while, Prim clinging to her once her cup is empty, babbling about her smelling like flowers and candies. Then Haymitch declare it’s time for them to go back to their rooms. Prim is restless and wants to play, but she notices that Katniss is still quite pale and has dark circles around her eyes. He takes them both upstairs whilst she finishes her cup of tea, taking this as a clue it’s time for her to leave. She is standing up and putting all the cups back in the tray when she hears him climbing down the stairs.

“ _You’re going already?”_ she can hear a tinge of disappointment in his voice.

“ _Oh, I thought that...”_

“ _No, I didn’t mean to kick you out.”_ he dismisses her concern with a wave of his hand, but she doesn’t sit back on the couch. She stays frozen where she is as he comes closer and closer. His eyes are fixed on her face, like if he couldn’t tear them off, and she feels very self-conscious. Suddenly remembering that she hadn’t bothered with her usual dose of makeup that morning, only some bb cream and some color on her eyes, not expecting to see anybody important that day. He could see her freckled skin and her uncontoured features. Fortunately plain blue eyes were saved by her indispensable mascara.

She feels her whole face blushing, waiting for the usual gibe to come, but he doesn’t look mocking, rather fascinated.

“ _I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone so...”_ she apologizes waving at her ducked head, hiding her flushed face. But he cuts her with an unexpected -but very much hoped for- compliment.

“ _You’re beautiful.”_ his voice is deep and loaded, like she had never heard before. He must have heard it too because he clears his throat, takes a step back and carries the tray in the kitchen. “ _Prim can’t stop talking ‘bout you now. You’re her new favorite princess! At least unlike Elsa, you don’t sing.”_ he jokes.

“ _I am flattered!”_ she replies with a hand on her heart. “ _So I guess that is where Sae got all her information from then...”_ she adds playfully. He smirks a flippant “ _yeah”_ but she can see the hint of a blush creeping on his cheeks.

He walks a little closer, and they are back in the same position from a few days before. They look in each other’s eyes and their hands brush lightly. She can feel electricity running through her body at his touch, and her sharp intake of breath makes him smirk.

He takes it as an encouragement and drags his hand from her hand to her arm, she can feel shivers following his fingers and the sensation of his calloused hand on her silky skin. Her heart goes on a race and she has troubles to swallow. He begins to lean in but they are startled by a noise upstairs -certainly Prim dropping something -and the spell is broken (again).

He sighs heavily, disappointed, and she hides a smile by looking down at her feet.

“ _Are you going to the Halloween party in the square?”_ she asks, hoping he’ll say yes.

“ _I don’t know. Didn’t even think about it.”_ he shrugs.

“ _I had thought… That it could have been fun to meet the girls there. After the trick or treating.”_ The girls, and him.

“ _I don’t take them trick or treating. Chaff does, with his niece and nephew.”_ he states coldly, not picking up on her visible disappointment. “ _I hate the whole dressing up thing. I have enough to do with the diner anyway.”_ he is back to putting the dishes in the sink now, all playfulness and flirting gone.

“ _Who’s Chaff? It’s not the first time you mention his name but I’ve never met him.”_

“ _He’s_ … _he’s my best friend. Almost like a brother to me. Owns the garage at the edge of the town. That’s where Cinna works too.”_ he answers. She can feel his deep affection for his friend in his tone.

“ _Oh, the Don Juan then.”_ she teases, trying to bring the playfulness back. “ _I hope I’ll meet him there.”_ This time she can see him frown and throw a quick glance in her direction, not really amused by what she implies. “ _Or...”_ she resumes with a little laugh, “ _you could come with me and make the introductions. That would only be proper.”_

He comes back in front of her, this time with his cunning smirk back on his face.

“ _I’m not really_ _the proper kind of man, sweetheart.”_ he says, imitating her slightly posh accent.

“ _I’m aware of that.”_ she laughs, putting a light hand on his chest. As well to keep him at a _proper_ distance as to finally touch him. She can feel the heat of his skin through the thick flannel of his shirt, burning her skin. He inhales deeply at the contact too.

“ _Does that mean I’ll have to wear a costume?”_ he asks her, his smirk widening in a real cunning grin.

“ _I think seeing the town’s Scrooge at a party will be enough. I doubt they’ll bother you with that.”_ she jokes. “ _And you can always say you’re dressed as the scruffy seductive diner owner...”_

“ _That’s a long title.”_ he replies, lifting an eyebrow questioningly. “ _Seductive you said?”_

She laughs and rises on tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. She didn’t mean to linger but he holds her with a hand on her waist.

“ _Goodbye then.”_ it’s her turn to smirk, seeing the expression on his flushed face. “ _Thanks again for the tea. Oh, and kiss the girls for me!”_

She doesn’t give him time to answer and saunters downstairs, grabbing her coat and her purse, and out the back door.

She doesn’t want him to see her grinning like a cat who got the cream and give him a new reason to tease her.

xxx

For the next week, she and Portia use all their time making the most perfect costumes for the girls and for themselves.

They even have to ask Cinna’s help for Katniss’s costume, the _fire dress_ , a dress made of moire silk, changing from red to bright yellow, and velvet, with feather wings attached to the included golden bangles that will move in sync with her arms. They also plan a makeup and accessories to put into her braided hair.

Effie chooses to make an angel costume for Prim, a simple glittery white dress with baby blue ribbons and a little crown like a golden aureole.

Portia goes classic with her sexy Catwoman jumpsuit, to go with Cinna’s Batman, and Effie settles on a cute fairy look. She makes herself a pretty short dress, with a corseted bodice and a flowing skirt, in light pink, green and golden tones -with a lot of glitter. She also finds golden high heeled boots and a pair of golden wings in her old stuff.

All these preparations takes a lot of her time, and she barely has any left to go to the diner. Most of the time she takes her coffee to go, but there are always lingering looks and touches, smirks and loaded _‘Hello princess’_ that comfort her in the idea that she didn’t dream it all and that he is still interested.

The day before Halloween comes, and Haymitch brings the girls at the shop in the afternoon for the planned fitting.

They both immediately fall in love with their dresses and there are only minor adjustments to do. They leave the two girls in the good care of Portia while Effie prepares a little snack -made of pumpkin spice cupcakes and cute skulls shaped sugar cookies - for them on one of the tables. As she retreats to the kitchen to prepare some tea and hot chocolate, Haymitch follows her.

“ _How much do I owe you this time Princess?”_ he asks seriously, certainly refusing what he considers as charity -even if it was nothing but generosity – another time.

She doesn’t want to charge him the real price of their work. They had gone a little overboard on the choice of the fabrics.

“ _Oh just the price of the confection and the adjustments. The fabrics are my gift for them. And the snack is just me testing my recipes for tomorrow.”_ she says with a smile to hide what she doesn’t want to say.

“ _Is there any other way for me to pay my debt?”_ he asks languidly, coming closer to her. She tries to play coy and to feign ignorance but her smile fades when he puts his hand on her waist and holds her against the counter. She can’t move -and she doesn’t really want to either – and she feels the heat of his body against her. She inhales his cologne and it feels like fire in her throat.

His hand tightens around her waist as he leans in. Their breath mingles and their lips brush a few times, and this time, as much as she tries to resist because of the girls a few doors away, she doesn’t know if she won’t cave and kiss him right there.

She is saved by a loud and thrill ‘ _Haymitch’_ and the stomping of little feet on the wooden floor. They separate just in time to see a very little angel Prim running and twirling in her shiny new dress. They go back to the main room of the shop and both the girls come to show their shiny new costumes.

It’s followed by a concert of congratulations, ‘ _thank you’_ and ‘ _you’re welcome it was nothing’,_ flying from all parts. Portia takes the girls back to change and Effie brings the beverage on the table.

They all settle around the table and eat the snack she has prepared. The girls unable to stop talking about the big day coming and the adults laughing and smiling at their joy and enthusiasm.

Effie tries her best to ignore the pointed looks Portia throws in her direction, but acting cool isn’t that easy. Especially when she feels Haymitch’s hand traveling down her thigh to end on the hand she was keeping on her lap. She glances at him and finds him watching her with fondness and a grateful smile, and also something else she doesn’t dare interpret as desire.

It’s an innocent gesture but it feels like a huge step between them. Even bigger than the few _not kisses_ they had exchanged until now.

It doesn’t last long, because they don’t want the other to see, but it feels good and they both have to keep a smile from appearing on their face.

When Haymitch declares it’s time for them to leave, Katniss is yawning in her chair, holding her stomach and Prim has disappeared in the kitchen to play with Lady. He has to take her in his arms to free the poor cat from her grip.

“ _If she could she would take her home.”_ he jokes at Effie as he comes back.

“ _Oh! She doesn’t need to, you can bring her any time. She’s at home here.”_ She did not intend to imply anything presumptuous by that, but hopefully Haymitch doesn’t seem to pick up on it. Or at least he doesn’t mind it.

As they say their goodbyes, he leans to kiss her cheek, the same way she had kissed him back to his apartment, and retreats with his infuriating smirk.

She is a little annoyed by his cocky attitude, but she takes the promise nonetheless.

She goes to bed with a dreamy smile on her face, but she is too restless to sleep, impatient for the day to come. Instead she goes to prep herself -skin care, masks, waxing, everything – knowing she won’t have a minute to do it the next day.

Two hours later, she falls back in her bed and succumb to exhaustion.

xxx

The big big big day has come. She spends most of it selling boxes and boxes of spooky cookies, pumpkin cupcakes and animal chocolate candies, running everywhere in her -pretty but not so practical - fairy outfit.

At five sharp, Haymitch comes in with the girls like they had agreed.

They eat some Frankenstein sandwiches and skull biscuits Effie has prepared with a big cup of hot cocoa and blood orange juice, before following Portia behind to put on their costumes.

Portia leaves with Cinna right after helping the girls in their dresses. They’re going to see a movie before going to the party. Effie helps the girls with their makeup and hair. She makes a braid crown for Katniss, decorating it with red feathers and tiny pearls, then simply hides the headband of Prim’s aureole with a few strand of her hair, letting the rest of her blond curls free. Then she adds glitter on their faces and declares they are done and perfect.

They come back in the shop to find Haymitch red handed fishing in the box of chocolate spiders -made of chocolate covered almonds and hazelnuts - Effie had left on the table. She slaps his hand out of the box with a click of her tongue, but only to replace it with hers. They all eat what’s left in it while waiting for Chaff.

The girls are restless, talking about their friends Thresh and Rue (Chaff’s nephew and niece Haymitch precises), about all the candies they will get, about the old woman who always gives them big chocolate bars, about Mrs Coin who only gives them ‘ _healthy treats’_ like dried fruits (‘ _disgusting’_ of course), or about Mr Snow who never have candies and chooses trick every time but who never turned into a frog, to Katniss great disarray. At best they made him cough the young girl narrates with an unsatisfied pout.

Chaff finally arrives -half an hour late- with a young Black Panther, who must be Thresh, and the little Rue disguised as a nymph wrapped in ivy and flowery vines. She finds herself facing a tall black pirate.

“ _Good evening dear, I’m Chaff, the one and only Captain Hook in this town!”,_ he introduces himself in a deep and loud voice. When he outstretches his hand she notices his other missing hand replaced by a very real golden hook, instead of a prosthetic. He is not joking with costumes.

“ _Good evening, I’m Effie, please come on in!”_ she invites them warmly.

The two children jump on the table with the leftover sweets and Chaff immediately scolds them.

“ _Hey, you two! You’re not savages ask the lady first!”_ he shouts in his scary pirate voice, then turns toward her “ _Sorry ‘bout that, love.”_ he adds in a lower, less impressive voice. An adept of monikers too then. Great!

“ _It’s okay, you can go!”_ she laughs at the two little faces staring at her with puppy eyes. They both shout a “ _Thanks Mrs Trinket!”_ before stuffing their mouths with cookies and candies.

She turns back to Chaff and finds him gauging her, scanning her from head to toe with a really disagreeable judging gaze. She feels herself blushing but not in a flattered way. Then she feels Haymitch’s hand on her shoulder and it immediately eases her embarrassment. He pushes her gently on the side to go greet his friend.

“ _Hey buddy!”_ he grumbles, giving him a quick bear hug.

“ _So, I finally get to meet the famous Effie Trinket!”_ Chaff says. It sounds innocent but she senses there is something behind that sentence.

“ _Famous? What makes you say that?”_ she laughs, trying not to show how tense she is in his presence. She can see why Haymitch likes him, but she can also feel deep in her guts that _he_ doesn’t like her. And what bothers her is that she has no idea why…

“ _Everybody’s talking ‘bout you love._ _M_ _y sister, my associate, Sae, the girls, Haymitch.”_ he glances at his friend with loaded look, _“You’re the new celebrity here.”_ It really doesn’t feel as a compliment, and his smirk scares her more than anything else.

He acts playful but she knows he is judging her, searching for a flaw or something. She had heard strangers were not always appreciated in small towns, but now, there should prescription.

They exchange a little more small talk for a few minutes, and then he goes out with the children. Leaving her and Haymitch finally alone. As much as she loves the girls, that was the moment she had truly been waiting for, and she won’t let Chaff bad influence ruin it for her.

She must have failed at hiding her discomfort because he comes behind her and runs his hands up and down her arms in a soothing manner.

“ _Hey… sorry about that. He is very… protective. He has some kind of... trust issues.”_ he explains, planting a soft kiss at the edge of her forehead.

“ _A big boy like you needs protection?”_ she jokes to lighten the mood, turning slowly in his arms. He shrugs his -feigned- ignorance, and she escapes from his arms to go to the kitchen. She doesn’t want to pursue that subject. She had planned much more pleasant activities.

“ _What are you doing? Thought we_ _were going ou_ _t._ _”_ he asks as he follows her in.

“ _I need to finish the pie I’m bringing, I cannot show up empty handed. I should have known this makeup would take an eternity...”_ she mutters as she takes everything out of the fridge. She just needs to assemble all the preparations of her caramel pecan pie.

“ _Which part? Covering you_ _r_ _skin in glitter or painting you hair gold?”_ he taunts, leaning against the counter to watch her do all the work. She deadpans a flat laugh as she begins to work.

First she pours the pecan praliné in the pie shell. Then adds a thin layer of salted butter caramel. And last but not least, she has to put all the caramelized pecans one by one on the top in a floral pattern.

“ _You’re sure you don’t want to help me?”_ she half jokes half chides him. It’s truly a long process and two more hands wouldn’t be too much.

“ _No thanks. I’m enjoying the view.”_ he replies, his smirks widening. She rolls her eyes and sighs at his attitude, but he comes closer anyway. “ _So w_ _hat_ _do you want me to do?”_

She shows him how to put them on nicely, following the pattern she had created, and they work together for a while. Then she retreats and leans against the counter, mirroring his previous position. It’s her turn to enjoy the view now.

Watching him work is both amusing and arousing. She takes her time to appreciate his handsome features. His broad shoulders, his messy long hair, his strong hands and forearms under his rolled up sleeves, his shaped…

“ _Like what you see princess?”_ he snorts, tearing her from her daydreaming.

“ _Well, yes. Quite.”_ she answers with a smirk of her own. “ _I can understand why you refused to move.”_ he laughs at that but refuse to meet her eyes, hiding what she thinks is the beginning of a blush on his cheeks behind the curtain of his hair.

She slides back next to him, and steals a nut in the plate. He’s almost done and she can see that there’s more than needed left.

Then she steals another. And another.

At first he laughs, but after a while he tries to stop her by smacking her hand playfully. She pouts and stop for a moment, but soon steals one again, and leaves the nut between her lips until he looks at her, and meets her insolent gaze.

He answers with a look of his own, meaning ‘ _careful sweetheart’._ But tonight she is tired of being careful, she wants to get bold now.

She comes a little closer again, one more step and she would be pressed against his side. She takes another pecan nut and puts it between her teeth, waiting. But he only takes it, puts it in his mouth and eats it.

Disappointed but not defeated, she tries once more. This time, he takes a deep breath with his eyes closed, trying to refrain himself, then groans and grabs her waist. But he just takes the nut with his own teeth and gulps it, looking directly in her eyes with a proud smirk. In a blink he is back at working seriously on the pie.

She huffs and laughs a little nervously, feeling the fear creeping in her chest. Maybe he doesn’t want it after all. Maybe he was just playing at flirting but doesn’t want to go further. She’s angry, at him for playing with her and at herself for being still so naive.

She tries one last time, stealing the nut he’s just put on the pie and eating it staring right into his storm grey eyes.

She doesn’t have time to react when he grabs her waist again with a hissed “ _fuck”,_ traps her violently between the counter and his chest, and finally takes her mouth in a hungry kiss.

It’s not a tender and loving kiss. It’s demanding, impatient, like when you finally get something you’ve been waiting for a long time. They fight to get the upper hand, pushing and pulling in turn.

She feels like she’s never close enough of him, she could melt in his arms. She takes in every sensation, his chapped lips, the itch of his stubble on her skin, his big hands roaming on her back and clutching to urge her always closer and closer.

The kiss doesn’t take long to grow heated, and his mouth travels from hers to her jaw and to that particular point under her ear. She can’t hold back a moan when his teeth nibble at the sensitive skin.

“ _Keep doing that kind of noise and we’re never gonna make it to the party.”_ he chuckles in her ear.

“ _What party?”_ she pants, throwing her head back to give him better access.

He laughs and moans as he kisses her again, lowering his hands to the back of her thighs. She knows what he’s going to do, so she takes her hands off him to put them behind her on the counter, ready to be hauled up on it.

Her hand hits an empty plate that falls and scatters to the floor in a loud crack.

They startle and laugh, breaking their embrace and coming back to reality. He keeps her close for a moment, while they take their breath back.

“ _You really couldn’t wait uh?”_ he whispers in her ear.

“ _Maybe.”_ she breathes, still panting, wiping some lipstick on his mouth with her thumb.

After a minute, they go back to their initial work, and in less than five minutes the pie is ready.

At eight-thirty, they finally arrive at the party. The park is all lit up with pumpkins and light strings, and decorated with hay bales, spider webs and fake skeletons. She puts her pie, and Haymitch his box of greasy donuts, on the buffet table and go to Portia and Cinna.

Portia introduces her to her new boyfriend, and she can see they are both very infatuated with each other, the connection is undeniable. She has to admit they are really cute, and she is truly happy for her friend.

They speak for a while. Cinna and Haymitch already know each other and it makes the conversation really easy. The man is truly charming, and he doesn’t seem to be able to take his hands off Portia. She feels a little pang of jealousy seeing Haymitch always keeping a reasonable distance with her. Even if he’s not cold, he’s never really affectionate. With him it seems to be all or nothing. A minute he is kissing her like if it was vital and the next he walks at arm length from her with his hands in his pocket…

Chaff arrives with the kids about an hour later. Just as they begin to struggle finding a new topic of conversation and as she’s watching with longing the people dancing under the tent. She tried a few times to imply she wanted to dance but he didn’t seem to get the hint. Or he simply didn’t want to take her.

She was beginning to believe that maybe it was only a matter of sexual tension and that once it would be out of their systems, they would only end up being two awkward friends who did a mistake.

The girls run to them, showing them their generous harvest of candies and chocolate bars. They laugh and babbles about other kids Effie doesn’t know. She can’t catch everything, but she understands that their costumes had been a hit and she feels a little proud for that.

When she turns she sees that Haymitch and Chaff have moved a little further and are talking quite seriously. She goes back to playing with the children but she can feel their eyes on her and her ears whistle knowing they are more than certainly talking about her.

It doesn’t last long and a minute later she feels Haymitch pressing her against his side, closer than they had ever been since they arrived.

Chaff joins them and she catches him eyeing all the pretty women in the party. They make a little small talk but he quickly brings the conversation back to what seems to be his favorite subject. _Her._

“ _So, love. Where are you from?”_ he asks.

“ _New-York. Manhattan to be exact.”_ she replies with faked cheer. She won’t let his interrogation ruin her night.

“ _Upper East Side?”_ he snorts mockingly.

“ _We_ _st,_ _actually_ _.”_ she retorts a little harshly. She won’t let him make fun of her for a former life she didn’t choose. He lift his hand and hook in a mocking apology.

She feels Haymitch’s hand stroking her side. He can certainly feel the tension between the two and tries to calm her down.

“ _Trinket… It rings a bell. Do you have someone famous in your family or something?”_ Chaff asks more seriously this time.

She doesn’t have anyone _famous_ in her family no. But there are some eminent personalities.

“ _Well, not really. But considering your work you might have heard about my brother. He’s into automobile industry business.”_ That’s the only connection she can find between her family and Chaff honestly.

“ _Ah, maybe. What’s his name?”_

She clears her throat, knowing this won’t be a pleasant part in their talk.

“ _Eusebius Trinket.”_ she sighs. Waiting for the inevitable gibes. If her name already wasn’t a piece of cake, her brother’s was even worse. However _he_ had had enough personality to make a strength of it. And now with his job, no one would dare make fun of him anyway.

Both men whistle in the same time.

“ _Yeah, definitely. Don’t know how I could forget that one.”_ Chaff laughs

“ _Does anybody in your family have a normal name?”_ Haymitch asks, incredulous.

“ _Well… my father does, William is not too bad.”_ she’d rather have Chaff laughing at her mother’s choice of names for her children than at her so she follows them on that topic.

“ _Come on love, how many children are you?”_

“ _Only three, I’m sorry.”_ she jokes, _“Eusebius is the eldest, then me and my little sister, Eudoxia.”_

“ _Your mother’s a historian or something?”_

“ _No. Just from a_ _n old_ _rich Greek family. And eager to take her revenge on us...”_ she adds thoughtfully. She immediately regrets it when she feels the four eyes fixed on her. She takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes.

“ _Chrysot_ _h_ _emis.”_ They both open wide eyes, before bursting out laughing. Haymitch leans and plant a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“ _You’re doing pretty well all things considered.”_ he chuckles, and she cannot do anything but nod. She _is_ one of the luckiest in her family so…

“ _Yeah, you’re a lucky girl...”_ Chaff snarls, with a completely different meaning. She can’t believe she had to end up talking with one of those person who loathe rich people just because they are rich, refusing to see a little further than that. “ _So what brings you here Princess?”_

She had been hiding her irritation for Haymitch’s sake, but as he leaves them to go help the children, she stops the masquerade.

“ _I came here because I wanted a quiet life, in a pretty place, far from the City and of all the things you blame me for. Are you happy with that? What did I do to you anyway? Why do you hate me so bad??”_ she blurts out, letting her anger out but trying to keep her voice low enough not to attract attention on them.

“ _I don’t care about what you did to me love, I care about what you did to him.”_ he answers, nodding at Haymitch, who’s serving the girls cups of soda. “ _How long do you plan to stay before you grow bored of the country life and run back to the city? How long ‘til you break his heart? He doesn’t need another spoiled brat to destroy him I warn you.”_ he is openly threatening her now, she can feel his loathing spilling from every word he speaks to her. She wouldn’t say she’s afraid, but she feels a bad thrill going down her spine.

“ _I have no intention of leaving.”_ she hisses back. “ _I have no intention of returning in the city, no intention of going back to what I was,_ _and no intention of playing with him_ _._ _If I were one to play with men I would have stayed in the city!”_ she stops for a second to breathe. _“And I am not a spoiled brat. And I do not accept you insulting me that way.”_

“ _I do not believe you. But you’re free to prove me wrong. I understand why he likes you, you’re not dumb and you certainly have a pretty little ass.”_ He lifts his hand at her horrified expression. “ _Just, don’t hurt him, love.”_

“ _Who do you take me for?”_ she barely has time to stammer in a hushed voice, flabbergasted, that Haymitch’s back at her side with a cup of coffee.

She composes her cheerful mask again, keeping for herself the whole disaster that had just happened, and takes the cup gratefully. The air is a little too chilly for her short outfit. She must not be very convincing because she can feel his hand at the small of her back all the time they continue their innocent small talk.

After a while, the girls come to ask Haymitch if they can go to dance. He asks Effie if she can go with them, and she accepts. Only too happy to have a break. Once on the dance floor, she can see the two men walking away, talking. But she can’t see their faces or hear them.

She stops paying attention to them, turning back to the two little girls under her watch. She teaches them a few dance move and ends up dancing with Prim in her arms.

“ _You’re the best adult!”_ the little girl laughs in her arms. “ _After Haymitch.”_ she adds, sucking on her thumb. Sign, she had learned, that she was getting tired.

She takes her out of the dance floor and away from the loud music, and Katniss follows them. She comes to sit beside her on a bench.

“ _Thank you for the costume. It’s the best I ever had.”_ she says very seriously, before hesitantly leaning toward her. Effie doesn’t hesitate when she takes the girl in her arms and holds her tight. She feels silly when she realize that Katniss’s words had made tears pool in her eyes, and she quickly swallows them back. This night is everything but what she expected. She’s on edge and she absolutely hates that, she can’t enjoy her time like she wanted to.

She is asking Katniss about her friends, especially about a certain boy named Peeta, when Haymitch comes back from his little _aparte_ with Chaff.

“ _Come on girls, you’re going to have a sleepover at Aunt Seeder tonight!”_ he tells them, pointing behind him at Chaff, waiting for them with thresh and Rue next to his truck.

They jump at his neck to kiss him goodnight, say goodbye to Effie, and run to the truck. Chaff waves them goodbye and they watch them leave until they disappear at the last turn they can see from the sidewalk.

As she cannot see Portia or Cinna anymore, it means that it’s only the two of them now.

She had been waiting for this moment all day, and now she is stressed. Not knowing what she should or shouldn’t do. Afraid of doing too much or not enough.

Chaff’s word were waltzing in her head and it was making her crazy.

“ _You okay sweetheart?”_ she hears Haymitch ask from behind her. That only then she realize she had not moved from her spot on the pavement. Her arms still crossed in front of her chest and her eyes still fixed on the edge of the road.

“ _Yes, perfect. Sorry.”_ she smile, walking at his side back to the party. They do not talk but she feels his hand brushing her a few times, hesitant. She decides to be the bold one again and entwines their fingers. He doesn’t push her, but he puts her hand with his in his pocket. To hide it, the pessimistic option, or to keep it warm, the optimistic one. Either way, she is now pressed against his side.

She is surprised but happy that he accepts such a display of affection in the middle of the crowd.

“ _So, how do you know Chaff?”_ she asks after clearing her throat. She hopes her discomfort isn’t too obvious but she has more and more difficulties to hide it.

“ _I always knew him, but we weren’t friends when we were young.”_ He begins, but he stops for a while, looking for words. “ _But when I came back from the city he… he has been a big help. He’s been a pillar in my life since.”_ It was more than she had hoped for and yet less than what she wanted.

“ _You lived in the City?”_ he waves the question away.

“ _Not for long...”_ She understands that she doesn’t want to push the subject.

“ _And you? Why did you come here?”_ he asks. She wonders if it’s him who wants to know or if Chaff got in his head too.

“ _Oh! Well… Like I said, I have been here before, and I kind of fell in love with place.”_ she answers, looking around her with nostalgia. “ _And with your coffee.”_ she adds with a wink. “ _And when I had to leave New York, it seemed obvious to me I would come here.”_

“ _You ‘had’ to leave New York?”_

She had not meant to say it like that….

“ _Yeah, well… I had a difficult breakup. I needed fresh air and a fresh start.”_ She doesn’t even want to brush the real reason that forced her to leave the City. She isn’t near ready for that yet. She knows that if she wants to progress with Haymitch she will have to one day but she can’t even fathom it yet.

“ _And so, you bought a whole building here to start your business?”_ he asks with a hint of what she had felt with Chaff, disgust, hiding behind a some admiration.

But she’d rather have him disgusted at her for that….

“ _With Portia. I had some... saving and she completed with hers._ _We worked hard for this._ _”_ she states more coldly than she intended.

She refuses to be ashamed of what she did. For the first in her life she feels proud of herself and she won’t let Chaff ruin that _and_ her date night.

He seems surprised, she doesn’t know by what part in particular. Certainly the ‘ _working hard_ ’ one. He could certainly not have imagined a _Princess_ could _work_.

He must feel the shift in the mood because he tightens his hold on her hand and changes the subject.

“ _So, a hard breakup uh? Who was he?_ _What did he look like?_ _”_ He takes an annoyed tone on purpose, acting jealous to make her laugh. And he succeeds.

She decides to play the game, hoping they would get back to the romantic mood they had begun the night with. She waits until they reach an isolated corner, and leans against the truck of a tree.

“ _He was a successful businessman, working with my father. Also a childhood friend.”_ she enumerates. “ _And he was really handsome and charming.”_ she says insolently,

“ _Oh yeah?...”_ he smirks, daring her to continue her praises.

“ _Yes.”_ she laughs. “ _He had short black hair and a perfectly groomed beard.”_ She says, passing her hand in his hair and cupping his stubble covered cheek. “ _Neat suits and coats.”_ she adds, letting her hand glide on his jacket and taking the lapels of his shirt. “ _Green eyes and… soft lips...”_ she finishes, kissing him to soften the blow.

He relaxes under her touch and sighs in the kiss, and she only then realizes how uncomfortable and tensed he had been during her little game. Really jealous or insecure, she couldn't say. But one thing was sure, he didn’t like being compared to her picture of the perfect prince charming.

“ _I think I’m beginning to grow a taste for the country style.”_ she says against his chin when they break for air.

He laughs a little before capturing her lips in an other hungry kiss. Their hands begin to roam and caress and they are dangerously skidding toward a heavy public making out session.

“ _Maybe we should relocate this... My place?”_ he manages to croak between to kisses.

She nods and follows him to the back door of the diner. It’s only a few feet away, but not kissing him for those few seconds feel like an eternity.

As soon as the door is closed, he pins her to it and kisses her again.

They climb the stairs kissing, touching and getting rid of their outdoor clothes and shoes.

She pushes him on the couch and straddles him. They just kiss and touch for a while, mapping each other’s body, enjoying the discovery. Then he brings her closer to his chest and she can feel his hard member poking at her thigh. His mouth travel on her neck and his hand goes up to cup her breast.

She loses control when he bites on her pulse point, letting a moan escape her throat, and she begins to rub herself against his hardness through their clothes.

He releases the skin of her throat and kisses her again, growling in her mouth as she moves.

“ _Damn you know what you’re doing…”_ he pants, drawing back to look at her.

She freezes.

She had been on edge all evening, and this is the last straw. The words that shouldn’t have been pronounced.

All desire desert her. Replaced by more than unpleasant memories and terrible words echoing in her mind.

She knows he ignores everything, that he didn’t mean what she thinks. But she cannot help it. The shame, the terror…

She jumps on her feet, feeling ridicule in her fairy costumes and her gold painted face. She hugs herself, trying to prevent the tears in her eyes from spilling on her cheeks. He watches her, puzzled, his pupils still dilated by lust.

She stammers some excuse she doesn’t understand herself and storms out before he has time to react. She takes her things on the floor and runs out, her coat thrown on her shoulders and her shoes in her hand, not looking behind her.

Once in her apartment, she bursts into tears and lets her panic attack flow over her. Portia isn’t home so there is no one to hear her cry. It doesn’t help the culpability she feels at what she’s just done. She ruined all her chances with Haymitch and broke his heart like she had sworn she wouldn’t.

She cries at the wave of fear creeping in her at the thought of him discovering what she had done. Knowing that he would never let her near the girls ever again.

She cries as how she has just broken her own heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it with this chapter! I hope you liked it!  
> Leave me feedback, I love feedback! They’re like fuel to me! ;)  
> See you next Thursday! xxx


	3. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello!   
> Here come this new (very very long) chapter, I hope you won’t mind! ^^ As usual, give me your reactions and advice in comments!  
> TW: smut and always more smut (and some fluff too)!   
> Now I leave you with the loaded month of November!   
> xxx

**November**

She has spent the night crying.

Alternating between remembering the worst moments of her lifeand imagining all the things she could have had and had just ruined.

Haymitch, the girls, and half of the town would hate her. Chaff would be all smug and insufferable because he had been right. She would have to move again and start all over again somewhere else.

Haymitch…

She doesn’t look forward to seeing him again.

She had certainly hurt him, leaving like that, with no explanation. He must have thought that she had been disgusted by him or something like that. But no, she was disgusted by herself.

And if she was to see him -and she would have to one day it was inevitable- she isn’t sure she could tell him the truth. In both ways, she’s sure he would never want to see her again.

What was she thinking? Despite his apparent vulgarity and rudeness, he was a very good man. Very well educated, very proper. And he had children. Baby girls…

He would never, ever want to see her again if he knew.

And she doesn’t want to see in his eyes what she usually sees in the eyes of those who know. Pity, disgust, condescension…

She had finally fallen to exhaustion around four in the morning, after hearing Portia come back from her night out.

Now she’s opening her eyes to see it’s already past eleven. She hadn’t opened the shop, nor baked anything. Her last hope is that Portia had found the strength to at least open the shop and take care of the clients, finding an excuse for her absence.

She rubs her face a few times, smudging even more the makeup she had already ruined crying and forgot to take off. Then she finds the courage to take her phone. She’s just as afraid to see a thousand missed calls and texts than to see none.

Seven missed calls. Two from Haymitch and the others from Portia.

Then she goes through her messages. She has a lot of them, all from Portia. The general idea is “ _Are you okay? / Where are you?/_ _Should I call the police?/_ _I’m telling the clients you’re sick.”,_ the rest are only variations or forest of question marks.

She lingers in bed for ten more minutes before standing up and dragging herself in the bathroom.

She almost screams when she meets her reflection in the mirror. She looks like a panda in fancy lingerie.

She takes a long hot shower and decides to take the day off. It’s too late to go bake for the shop anyway so…

She doesn’t bother with makeup either, she just puts her hair up in a bun, takes some comfy clothes -a black legging and warm pink sweater – and decides to go get some leftovers downstairs for her late breakfast. She turns on her electric kettle, puts a tea bag in her mug and goes to open her door.

She opens it only to find herself face to face with Haymitch, with his hand in the air, ready to knock at her door. They stare at each other for a few seconds before he clears his throat.

“ _I hum… I wanted to see if you were okay… Portia let me in...”_ he stammers, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

She comes back to herself and invites him in.

“ _Hum, do you want some tea?”_ she asks, only to win time as she gestures him to sit on the couch.

In a way, she is glad he came to her, he gave her a chance to explain. But she is also devastated because it means that everything would be over very soon. Way too soon. But she decides to grab that chance.

After all, maybe she was wrong.

She brings him a mug and they sat in the living room, her on the couch and him in the armchair.

He takes a sip of his tea and speaks first.

“ _Listen Sweetheart...”_ he begins seriously. Of course she should have known… He was too nice to leave her hanging, he had just come to make things clear. Not to give her a chance… “ _Do you… do you want to stop?”_

“ _What?!”_

“ _Did I do or say something? Do you want to stop here?”_ he asks again.

“ _What? I… Of course not! But after yesterday I’d thought you would...”_ she answers, shocked. How could he blame himself for what happened? She had been the one with the awful behavior, not him. “ _Of course it’s not your fault Haymitch!”_ she adds to make things clear.

“ _Tell me what happened then.”_ he opens his hands in invitation, showing her he is ready to listen and discuss.

“ _Haymitch…_ _”_ she winces. “ _It’s… It’s...”_ she can’t speak, blocked by the tears in her eyes and the lump in her throat. She lowers her head to breath and try to get back under control.

“ _Come on sweetheart, it can’t be that bad.”_ she cannot stop the nervous laugh that escapes her. She lifts her head to look at him. His face crisps when he sees the tears in her eyes and her twisted smile. “ _Or maybe it can… Come on Effie. Tell me._ _I won’t judge or anything.”_

It’s the rare use of her name and the strange look in his eyes that make her talk. And once she’s on, she cannot stop. If he has to hate her, then he’d better know the whole story.

She takes a few deep breaths and sips of her tea before diving back in hell.

“ _My break up with Seneca was not just a blow for me, it was also a blow for my family business._ _It wasn’t really a match of love you see… Not only…”_ she clarifies. Marriage of love still isn’t the norm in high society. _“_ _So after, i_ _t had been made quite clear that I had made a huge mistake and that I would need_ _to_ _assume the consequences. The consequences being having my bank accounts frozen and having to leave the house and fend for myself.”_ she stops an instant to breathe and see his reaction, but so far, his face remains neutral.

“ _They let me stay until I find a job and another place to l_ _i_ _ve. But life in the city is expensive and… in order to make enough money to be able to buy something, I had to take... multiple jobs.”_

And here comes the _best_ part…

“ _I have been a waitress, a barmaid on some days,_ _a_ _cleaning lady on others. But it wasn’t enough. So I had to… I was_ _a dancer and..._ _an escort at night.”_ she stops, swallowing the tears threatening to spill and making her voice waver.

“ _Somehow, my brother found out. And he told my mother. This time, I was asked to pack and leave the house_ _immediatly_ _._ _I_ _t has been made clear that I_ _was the shame of the family and that I_ _would not be welcomed_ _there_ _anymore._ _My_ _mother disinherited_ _me_ _. The only thing that saved me from a scandal was that they didn’t want my father to know._ _I had to go live with Portia for a while, and as soon as we got enough money, we came here._ _I couldn’t bear being there any longer..._ _”_ She finishes her anxious monologue, hugging herself, curled up in the smallest ball possible, with uncontrollable tears spilling on her bare face. What a sight she must be.

He doesn’t say anything. He has listened to her all along without a word, without a spark of judgment in his eyes, and now he fixes her in absolute silence. She looks into his eyes but she doesn’t find any of the expressions she had feared. Only sadness and… Anger?

She waits but he doesn’t say anything. He looks at her, thinking and waiting for something else. A clearer explanation of what had happened last night maybe.

“ _I did_ _not_ _want to hide it from you, but I also didn’t want you to know.”_ she cries desperately, hoping he would understand. _“I was afraid you would hate me. You would not want a... whore... near your girls. And I would have understood.”_

She hesitates before telling him what had triggered her panic. But he deserves to know, he would know at some point anyway… “ _And yesterday… It was really not your fault but… Chaff’s interrogation reminded me of things…_ _I was on edge and.. It was too much. I’m so sorry. So sorry I ruined everything...”._ She’s downright sobbing now, she cannot stop it.

“ _You’re not a whore.”_ he just says before standing up. She thinks he’s going to leave, but he comes to sit next to her on the couch.

“ _You’re_ _certainly not a whore.”_ he repeats as he takes her head in his hands to force her to look at him. “ _Only a strong woman who fought for_ _having her own_ _life. And that’s very honorable.”_

It sounds like a nice way to say he understands and forgives her, but that he also doesn’t want her to be part of his -their – life.

But he stays there, holding her face, brushing the tears with his thumbs with his eyes locked in hers. Then he leans in and kisses her, softly, lovingly.Not the heated and hungry kiss from the previous day. It’s an apology and a comfort. He doesn’t deepen it and breaks it too soon for her taste.

He retreats slightly to look at her. She remembers her bare face and her -everything but flattering - outfit, imagines her puffy red eyes and feels terribly self-conscious. She tries to lower her face but he holds it high and kisses her again. Always keeping this strange expression on his face, between lust and sadness, almost suffering.

“ _You’re gorgeous.”_ he whispers.

This time, it’s her who initiates the kiss, a little more deeply and passionately and he responds in kind. It stays quite chaste, but it lasts and it feels so right… It’s certainly the best of the kisses they’d shared until now. It was… meaningful.

When they break apart, it feels like a dream ending.

He loosens his hold on her face so she can move.

“ _I’m sorry sweetheart, I have to go. I came here before going to get the girls at Seeder’s.”_ he manages to say between two heavy breaths.

“ _Oh! Yes, of course, no problem.”_ she replies. Of course she knew he wasn’t going to stay.

He gets up, goes to the door and stops.

“ _Come for dinner tonight.”_

“ _What? I thought you were working t_ _onight_ _...”_ It’s Saturday, his biggest day of the week. He usually works twice as hard.

“ _I’ll close. The girls would be happy to have you. I would be happy to have you.”_ he says, blushing a little.

She doesn’t dare laugh at the unwanted innuendo. Instead she flashes him her brightest smile.

“ _I’d love to then.”_

“ _Great!_ ” he smiles back, leaning above the couch to steal one last kiss before running through the door.

She watches him leave with his truck from the window and once he is gone, she storms downstairs to see Portia. Fortunately there are no customers and she is in her study.

She tells her everything and begs her help for a beautiful new dress for the night.

xxx

It’s seven pm, Effie is in her apartment, all ready for the night.

She wears her brand new red velvet dress with a knee length fluid skirt, high neckline and long sleeves, that lets her back bare to the waist.She embellishes it with golden rings and a golden necklace falling on her spine, black tights and red stilettos. Her hair is up in a stylish bun with studied wayward strands, and she kept her make up quite light, just her complexion fixed, red lips and a light brown shadow and mascara.

She and Portia are standing in front of her mirror in her room, checking the last details.

“ _You look gorgeous Effie.”_ Portia says searching her eyes in their reflection.

“ _Thank you.”_ She wouldn’t be that beautiful if it wasn’t for Portia’s great talent and dedication. She could never have dreamed having such a friend one day in her life, and yet there she was. She was always there for her, and always would be, she was sure of that.

“ _Be careful Eff’. Don’t do anything you could regret._ _B_ _ut don’t hold back either.”_ She adds with a wink before taking her in her arms, mindful of not messing with her dress. She hugs her too for a second and pecks the air next to her cheek as she retreats to leave.

She takes her purse, the apple cinnamon pie she has prepared for dessert and climbs in her car. She’d rather use her car than risking her heels -and her life - by walking all the way there.

She rings the bell at the back door and waits, until she hears Haymitch’s heavy footsteps in the stairs.

When he opens the door, she sees him for the first time in something else than his usual thick flannel shirts and frayed blue jeans. He is actually wearing a clean light grey button up shirt with black buttons complimenting his eyes, black slacks tight where it counts and shiny black shoes. He looks good enough to eat.

He too is watching her from head to toe, his mouth gaping, before shaking his head and inviting her in, taking her coat while he is at it.

She laughs lightly, flattered and flustered by the weight of his gaze on her.

As she enters the living room, the two girls run to welcome her. They are both wearing very pretty dresses, Prim’s white with small flowers and Katniss’s emerald green with golden ornaments.

They seem really happy to see her and drag her to sit on the sofa to talk with her and admire her dress.

She feels Haymitch’s gaze on her nape and remembers the back of her dress. She turns to see him watching her with a smirk and licking his lips. Then he approaches and makes a sign for the girls to get up.

“ _You two go set the table in the kitchen while I take care of our guest.”_ he asks them with a wink. The two little girls go running to obey the order while he comes closer to her.

He takes her by the waist with a smug face and caresses her back with his big calloused hand as he plants a quick kiss on her painted lips. It sends goosebumps all over her body.

“ _I’m glad you came.”_ He just whispers before guiding her to the kitchen with his hand still at the small of her back.

She sits next to him with the girl on the other side of the table, and the dinner goes perfectly well. He had made a salad with beetroot, walnuts, feta cheese and balsamic vinegar and then salmon with roasted Brussels sprouts, butternut and garlic. They all talk, laugh and she sometimes feels his hand on hers under the table or on her thigh, but never in a dirty way.

She has never felt so at ease before, she finally sees what a family is, speaking freely, laughing and doing silly things without being scolded about propriety. And she loves that. She can’t help herself correcting the girls on their language and grammar a few times, but she takes care of never spoiling their joy.

Even Haymitch seems happier than she has ever seen him, he keeps smiling at his kids and at her. For a while she feels... loved. Even if the word can sound strong.

The dinner ends and Haymitch asks her to wait downstairs while he takes the girls, especially Prim, to their room.

When he comes back, she is waiting for him in the living room, running her finger on the book covers on the shelves.

“ _Thank you for the dinner. The girls are real treasures.”_ She tells him as he approaches her.

“ _Yes. And they really like you too. They’re … happier since you’re around.”_ His arms are around her again, one hand ghosting the skin of her bare back and the other playing with the loose tendrils of hair framing her face. She has never felt him so affectionate.

She reciprocates his embrace by putting a hand on his chest and the other around his neck, moving her fingers up his hairline on his nape.

They stay like that, looking deep in each other’s eyes for a while. Just enjoying the feeling of the other’s presence and warmth. Then he leans in to kiss her more intensely and passionately than he ever has. She melts into the kiss, forgetting everything else for as long as it lasts.

But comes the moment they need to break for air. They remain tangled, forehead touching and noses bumping with the rhythm of their breaths.

“ _Stay.”_ is the only word that leaves his lips, and it’s everything she wanted to hear.

She looks once more in his eyes, and all she sees is need, longing and desire.

“ _Okay.”_

He makes them cups of coffee and leads her to his room.

It’s a little messier than the rest of the house, books everywhere, some shirts and sweaters on a chair in the corner, but it’s quite cozy and she likes it. It’s dark, with only the bedside lamps lit, painted and decorated in dark colors and materials (navy blue, grey, brown wood), but it’s warm and welcoming.

She takes a tour around the room and stops in front of his desk and his bookshelves. There are lots of books, accounting files, but it’s something else that catches her attention. A disc cover that seems familiar to her. She takes it and hears him behind her taking a deep breath.

She remembers it now. Her mother used to listen to it when she was young, and she did too. It was her favorite piano concerto and her favorite version. Rachmaninoff 2nd by….

“ _Is that you? Haymitch Abernathy?”_ she asks, stunned. The cover was a black and white picture that only showed the young pianist’s hands on the keyboard, but the name was written white on black. She turns toward him, waiting for an answer.

He is sitting on the bed, his elbows on his knees, his hands in front of his mouth. He simply nods and makes a gesture opening his hands. Like if he was surrendering, waiting for her to mock him or something.

Maybe that’s what he was used to.

“ _I loved it! I still do...”_ she laughs nervously, still incredulous. She takes a quick look on the shelf, and finds three other discs with his name on it. Other piano pieces and chamber music. She takes them all and reads all the covers with rapt attention. She was feeling like a child in a toy shop.

She couldn’t believe he was the man who had lulled her to sleep, comforted her when she cried, made her dream, so many times when she was young.

She had not really paid attention to the name on the cover at the time though. But what were the odds….

She startles when she feels him right behind her and hears him chuckle.

“ _That’s not the usual reaction.”_ he laughs. Watching her with amusement and some kind of fondness.

“ _What is the usual reaction then?”_ she hated the idea of people mocking him because he played classical music, and she hated even more the idea of people -well, women – coming here to see those discs. Which was stupid. She was in no place to be jealous of anything. Even more if it had happened before her. And yet…

“ _Mockery, admiration, indifference… But you’re the very first to know me though._ _Or to like it._ _”_ he says looking at her with a frown.

“ _My mother had_ _each of_ _us play an instrument and listen to classical music. I had chosen harp but I never got really far with that.”_ she tells him laughing. “ _I stopped playing but I kept listening. I still like to. Among other things….But this used to be one of my favorite. You made me cry!”_

He laughs at that but remains quite serious under the surface.

“ _A bad habit of mine It seems.”_ he mutters, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and drawing her to him.

She leans in the warmth of his chest, enjoying the sensation of the silky fabric of his shirt against her naked skin.

“ _Why did you stop?”_ she asks and immediately regrets it when she feels him tense in her back.

“ _I had to come back here. After…_ _an_ _accident. And I just never got back. Even if I had had the possibility,_ _six_ _month without playing is like losing years of practice. And_ _far_ _enough to be forgotten in th_ _is business.”_ he shrugs. He doesn’t tell her everything, she knows it, but she doesn’t push it. She understands what it is to bury some memories and not wanting to dig them out.

“ _Don’t you miss it?”_ she asks softly, not pushing him to anything, just curious. She would have loved that life when she was young. Now, not so much.

“ _I was young. I never really thought_ _about it_ _, I just followed_ _what I was told_ _. It’s not an easy life, I did a lot of stupid things.”_ he gives her a pointed look. She guesses that it’s why he had forgiven her faults. He had had his share too. “ _Thinking about it now, I don’t regret quitting. It was more… poisonous than anything.”_

She knows what he means. It’s not a healthy industry, drugs, alcohol, hard work, competition, hypocrisy… if you’re not built for that it can be really hard.

She leaves the comfort of his arms to resume her tour of the room, looking at his books, trinkets, pictures. There are few of these but one really stands out.

It a picture of him young, around sixteen or seventeen, with what must be his family. They are all standing in front of a big white house, a younger Sae, an other woman with a long brown loose braid with grey strands that must be his mother, a boy about twelve with the same cunning grey eyes, and a beautiful young girl with messy red hair smiling with all her teeth, her arms around Haymitch’s neck and his hand on her hip.

He is watching her from the foot of the bed, not in any hurry to come look at it with her. She has never heard him talk of his family, and she has never seen them either. Are they gone? Did he have a fight with them? Are they…?

He _had_ said something about an accident…

Instead of thinking, she lets the first question that comes to her mind escape her lips.

“ _Is she the girl who broke your heart?”_

“ _How do you know about that?”_ he asks in response, quite harshly. She doesn’t dare look at him but she tries to take a more relaxed tone to answer him. She doesn’t want him to think she has investigated on him or anything.

“ _Chaff. Well, he didn’t tell me but… I figured.”_ she gives him a shy smile and sees him coming closer to take her in his arms again.

“ _Irene. We got together when we were sixteen._ _A_ _nd stupid. I thought she was the woman of my life and… anchored myself to her. Especially after…_ _”_ He stops for a second, a wistful look in his eyes fixed on the picture. “ _She was all I had left, the only steady thing in my life. Then three years later I discovered she was cheating on me, had been for a while actually. With one of my rare friend_ _s_ _, Darius.”_ he stops and sighs. He doesn’t seem mad or upset, only defeated. He laughs a bitter, self-depreciating laugh. “ _I have really been blind and stupid. Had even bought a ring and everything… Can’t really blame her. I must have been a real pain in the ass then.”_

She turns in his arms to face him, cups his cheek and caresses him with her thumb.

“ _There is nothing that justifies that. You are supposed to talk about that sort of things in a couple. Not lie to each other for years...”_ She is mad at this woman she had never seen for hurting him like that. Under her angelic smile she was a real….

“ _It’s all forgotten now. They moved far from here years ago. Out of sight, out of mind.”_ he cuts her from her internal rant. She can see that this is not exactly true, or he wouldn’t have kept this picture of her. But she lets go.

She kisses him softly, comfortingly until he responds to her kiss. Then she turns it into a hungrier and more passionate one. She guides him toward the bed, until the back of his knees hit it and he falls on it.

“ _So, where were we?”_ she teases him without taking her lips off his. Then she slowly puts one knee on each side of his legs, straddling him like she had the last time. “ _Ah yes...”_

They kiss for a long moment. Hands roaming everywhere on and under fabrics. Then she feels him harden against her lower belly and recoils slightly.

“ _We don’t have to do this. If you’re not sure.”_ He pants.

But she takes his mouth in another breathtaking kiss.

“ _I am sure. I want this.”_ she whispers between two kisses. “ _I want you.”_

That’s all he needed to hear.

He takes her mouth like if he had never kissed her before, and this time they’re lost. The rest of the world stops existing.

His hands are everywhere, but very insistent on her back, sinking the little heart shaped pendant of her necklace in her skin. From the moment she had arrived, she had noticed he seemed obsessed with that part of her attire.

She runs her fingers from his hair to the collar of his shirt, slipping them under the fabric to feel the heat of his skin. She drags them to the front and undoes one button.

His hands travel up her back, leaving goosebumps on their trail, to stop at the hem of the dress on her shoulders.

He breaks the kiss and wordlessly asks for the permission to pull it down. She doesn’t answer, but keeps taking off his buttons one by one, staring right into his eyes. His dark grey eyes are nothing but a storm of lust. And that’s all for her.

He takes that as a yes, and slowly pulls the smooth red velvet down her arms, discovering her bare silky skin and her bra-less breasts. He breaks the kiss to look at her, and she uses the moment to take off his shirt. Once his hands freed, he takes them back on her. Touching, kissing and licking this whole new territory.

She follows his lead, arching and bending to give him better access, dragging her own hands on his firm muscled chest.

He kisses every accessible inch of her skin, before going back up to her mouth. He draws back just enough time to groan a “ _Damn you’re beautiful!”_ that makes her giggle in his kiss.

Then things go from still quite romantic to heated. She rubs herself against his hard member and he licks and bites his way down to her breasts. She holds his head there as he scraps the delicate skin with his stubble and sucks on the erected buds, trying to keep her moans at a reasonable level.

She tears him off her before it becomes too much, and stands to wriggle out of her dress and tights., exposing her black lace panties clad body in front of him.

He watches her with his mouth open and seems to have difficulties swallowing.

Then she bows to kiss him, still standing with her legs each side of his, while her hands reach for his belt. He breaks the kiss and his breath catches in his throat when she touches him through the fabric and she laughs a little, now working on his zipper.

He lifts his hips to take his pants off, then grabs her to throw her on the bed and cover her with his body. She laughs at the surprise and he kisses her silent.

She enjoys the weight and heat of his body on her, kissing and nipping at every part she can touch. His body is muscular but also tender, like if he had lost some weight, and his complexion has a slight yellow tinge. She maps every little bump, scar or mark with her hands or mouth, and he does the same with her.

His mouth moves from her mouth to her ear lobe to distract her while his hand comes to her inner tight. She inhales loudly and he asks her if it’s okay and she nods. He strokes her skin up and down her inner thigh, avoiding the part she desperately needs him. When he touches her she has to bite her cheeks to muffle her cry. He groans when he feels her soaking wet through the lace and muffles a “ _H_ _ell...”_.

They both lose control the moment he pushes the lace aside to properly touch her, skin on skin. She has never been so aroused and wet before and the sensation is too much, she can’t hold back. Her hips jerks to chase his hand as he kisses her again to hold in her obscene sounds.

“ _Please_ … _please Haymitch...”_ she pants in his ear.

He takes pity on her, takes her panties off and finally drags his finger between her silky folds before pushing two fingers inside her. She cries in his shoulders and he stares at her, holding her face in his hand and holding her glassy gaze with an intense expression. He flips his thumb on her clit once and smirks when she throws her head back biting her lips, and does it again in rhythm with his moving fingers inside her. She holds his gaze all along, she loses herself in her building pleasure until her vision goes white as she comes on his hand. She has to bite her lips hard to keep her scream from escaping her.

As soon as her orgasm ends he kisses her and licks her bottom lip gently to ease her pain. She is still very sensitive and makes a strangled noise when he takes his fingers out of her.

She realizes that his cock is hard and hot against her thigh even through the fabric of his boxers. She strokes him with the hand that isn’t on his nape keeping him close to her, and she can feel him twitch and moan in her mouth. She keeps stroking, going up until she finds the hem of the boxers and slips her hand inside. He stops kissing her and his breath hastens, his eyes close and his hand clutches her thigh. He is hot and rock hard in her hand and he really isn’t small either. His head is already freed and she feels it’s already wet too. He moves to take his boxers off while she keeps stroking him, watching him in the eyes like he did and licking her lips.

Once his cocks springs free she can finally see it and how big it is. He is long -but not too much - and really thick, her middle finger and her thumb can just touch. She feels herself getting even more aroused if it was possible at the sight and the feel of him. For the first time she really feels desired. As much by his cock than by his intense and dazed look.

“ _Fuck...”_ he mutters when she flicks her thumb on his head.

“ _That’s the idea.”_ she laughs.

“ _No, not that. I don’t have any...”_

“ _Oh!”_ she breaths as understanding downs on her. Condoms… Her mind quickly flies at the one in her wallet but she didn’t take it with her that night. She doesn’t really care as long as he’s clean. _“_ _I’m clean. A_ _n_ _d on the pill so...”_

He doesn’t answer right away, disturbed in his thoughts by her ministrations.

“ _I’m clean too. I checked not long ago.”_ he finally blurts out between two heavy breaths.

“ _Alright then.”_ she brings him closer from her, spreading even more her legs and guiding him at her entrance.

He strokes the tip of his cock a few times along her length to gather her wetness before dipping his head. She cries a little at the sensation of his thick head pushing her walls. She had never taken anyone so big and she can feel her pleasure building again. He draws back and thrust again a little deeper. Again and again until he’s fully inside her. He remains there for a moment, letting her time to adjust before resuming his thrusts.

She is completely filled, literally and metaphorically. She feels whole, complete with him inside her. The thought is as exciting as it’s scary.

He quickens the pace of his thrusts and she feels herself coming again, and he seems to be quite close too, his hand clutching her thigh hard enough to leave bruises. She brings his face to hers to kiss him deeply as she comes, and he comes with her, still inside.

They kiss as they come down from their orgasms and he rolls on his side not to crush her as she tries to find her breath back.

“ _Sorry about that.”_ he laughs, gesturing at the mess dripping down her thigh.

“ _It’s okay.”_ she pants, still recovering from her intense second orgasm. She feels his gaze on her, on her body and then his hand caressing her stomach, breast and arms before kissing her deeply again.

She stays in his arms for a few minutes but soon breaks his embrace and sits on the bed, ready to go. She knows men usually don’t like cuddles and women staying without being invited, so she does like she has always been told to do and leaves. He watches her questioningly.

“ _I should go before I fall asleep here and we have to explain that to the girls tomorrow morning.”_ she explains with a smile.

His face relaxes and he nods, relieved. He stands and puts on his boxers and some sweatpants while she gets dressed again.

He accompanies her at the flat door. He kisses her deeply, holding her nape before asking a loaded and anxious _“_ _S_ _ee you tomorrow?_ ”

“ _See you tomorrow.”_ How can he doubt that? She leans to give him one last kiss that transforms into a series of pecks. She can’t find the strength to get away from him. She reluctantly moves away from his arms and leaves, feeling his gaze following her down the stairs and out the door.

She sits behind the wheel and lets out a deep sigh, bumping her head on the headrest.

This morning, she would have never dared hope for such a moment, and now here they were.

She had discovered a lot of things about Haymitch that night. He was as broken as she was, or even more, for multiple reasons, but she wouldn’t have thought he was the insecure kind. Now she wants to know more about it, this fragility she had felt in him.

xxx

The next few days everything is fine. She goes to take her coffee, he comes sometimes to the shop with the girls with different pretexts, there are looks, lingering touches, kisses in dark corners, making out when they have time but not much more.

At the end of the week, when she’s alone in the shop -Portia being on an other date with Cinna, a bike trip for what she had been told – she gets an unexpected visit.

The doorbell rings, and Chaff appears in front of her counter. He wears a complicated expression on his face, needless to say not very sympathetic, but she welcomes him as warmly as any other client.

“ _Hey love. I’ll take a box of these chocolate and cranberry cookies._ _The kids love them.”_ he asks her with minimal politeness.

“ _Yes, perfect. Very good choice.”_ she answers automatically.

She watches him warily as she fills the box, waiting for him to do what he came for. She knows he didn’t only come here for the cookies, as famous as they might be by now.

She comes back to give him his package, next to the cash register. She hands it to him as he hands her the money, and they look at each other for a moment, only separated by the counter.

His eyes are narrowed and he is staring in her eyes like if he was trying to get to her soul.

“ _Are you happy here?”_ he finally says. It’s not what she expected but at least the answer is easy.

“ _Yes. Yes more than ever.”_ It’s a little more honest than she should be, but it’s the truth. She had never really thought about it but it had come naturally to her.

“ _So you don’t think about leaving then.”_ he states more than he demands.

“ _No. Absolutely no_ _t_ _.”_ she repeats, for what feels like the hundredth time.

“ _Yet a high-maintenance girl like you must find the country life hard and boring.”_ If he’s trying to push all her buttons he is on a good path to succeed. It takes her all her good will to remain calm and polite.

“ _A woman like me,”_ and she insists on the _woman,_ “ _can perfectly take care of her own ‘high-maintenance’ as you say. And the boring life is exactly what I was seeking coming here.”_ she reassures him on these points, keeping a nice smile on her face but her eyes were throwing daggers at him.

His face softens a little (a very little) and he sighs.

“ _He’s happy, don’t break him again.”_ he says as he reaches the door.

“ _I won’t.”_ she answers as the door closes behind him.

xxx

That night, she decides to indulge herself with a quiet cocooning night.

The rain is pouring outside so she doesn’t have any regret in doing so, that’s the reason why it’s her favorite weather.

She sets her favorite baking show on Netflix on her TV, makes herself some peppermint tea and takes some white chocolate cookies and nestles under her heaviest and softest blanket. Combined with her comfy legging and her woolen sweater, it was like being in a big warm cloud. That was second best in terms of comfort after Haymitch's arms.

This was going to be a perfect night.

Just what she needed to forget the weird and not really pleasant encounter of the afternoon, and the absence of Haymitch all day.

She’s about to push the ‘play’ button when knocks echoes from her door.

She sighs loudly, not to say groans, and goes to open the door, expecting Portia just back from her trip and all excited about it.

But it’s Haymitch who’s standing behind the door, and she suddenly feels ill at ease. She partly hides herself behind the half opened door and pats her hair. Which is stupid because he has already seen her in much worst states than that.

“ _Oh! Good evening! Wha... What are you doing here?”_ She really feels stupid. Stammering in front of her man, what is she? Twelve?

“ _Hum…_ _the girls are at Sae’s and… I … I missed you.”_ he stammers too, rubbing his neck. That must have been really hard to admit for him, considering his reluctance to speak about feelings.

She remains speechless for a second, but quickly waves him in.

“ _I’m not… intruding?”_ he seems unsure, worried. What is he thinking? That she has a lover in her cupboard?

“ _Not at all!”_ She reassures him with a smile. It was funny how he could go from cocky and proud to insecure and… boyish. She can see the crushed, insecure teenager in him in moments like this.

None of them moves and they just look at each other, a few steps apart.

They had never done that yet. Showing up at the other’s place without being invited first, and without a real reason. Just because they wanted to. And neither really knew what to do.

She was still patting her hair, trying to give them some shape and he was shuffling on his feet, staring at her with an intense gaze.

He is the first to the cross the distance separating them in two strides. He tears the arms she had been hugging herself in off and takes her in his instead. She is still tense but forgets everything about why she had been uncomfortable when he kisses her.

She is reduced to something akin to mush against him when he breaks the kiss and locks his eyes in her.

“ _You’re beautiful.”_

“ _Even like this?”_

“ _Especially like this.”_ he frowns.

“ _Ugly?”_ she is teasing him mostly, but deep down she wonders how he can like her so plain. She had been repeated enough times that she wasn’t a _natural beauty._

“ _You.”_ he answers in a deep cracking voice. “ _Not hidden behind a mask_ _of paint_ _.”_

She kisses him, a little deeper than previously, but still chastely.

“ _So, what were you doing?”_ he asks her, breaking the embrace.

She simply waves at her little installation in the living room. The blanket and her tray of sweets and tea is still waiting for her there.

“ _Do you want a cup?”_ she offers, not really sure that he would like this kind of evening. He didn’t seem like the literal _Netflix and chill_ kind of man.

“ _Why not. Ex_ _cep_ _t if you want to be alone...”_

“ _Of course not!”_ she almost screams. She had been longing for him all day, being alone is the last thing she wants now. “ _I just… I don’t know if you like that kind of program...”_

“ _I don’t mind it.”_

She gives him a mug of peppermint tea and invites him to sit with her on the couch. They settle under the blanket with him sprawled and her snuggled against his side, her head propped on his chest. When she starts the TV, he puts his arm around her to hold her close.

They watch two episodes of the show, laughing and screaming at the screen and bickering about which candidate’s the best. It was all very domestic and, she had to say, very agreeable.

As the time passes, they lie more and more on the couch. They end the second episode with him lying on his back, his head on the armrest and her curled up against him, half sprawled on his chest, her head tucked under his chin. He holds her with a hand on her back and the other petting her hair soothingly.

She has never been so intimate with anyone else before, and she loves it.

With Seneca it had always been very _proper_ and cold, and none of her other boyfriends had had time to get there.

She uses the hand she has on his chest to lift herself enough to look at him. Just look at him, study every feature of his face. His square jaw covered by blond and grey stubble, his crooked nose, certainly broken at some point, and most of all his troubled grey eyes. He is not the type of beauty she had been used to, he isn’t all smooth and spruce. His face is marked by years and hard work. And yet he is certainly the most handsome man she knows.

He is holding her gaze with his eyebrows furrowed, and strokes her face with his big calloused hand.

“ _What?”_ he whispers, both amused and anxious.

“ _Nothing.”_ she breathes as she leans in to kiss him.

He kisses her back and, of course, it grows heated pretty quickly.

After a while, she suffers from the lack of place. She stands up and takes his hands to guide him to the bedroom. He stands but doesn’t follow her, instead he pounces on her and take her in his arms. She shrieks and laughs in surprise but holds tight to his neck and wraps her legs at his hips.

He carries her all the way to the bedroom, his mouth never leaving her neck.

Once at the foot of the bed, she expects him to fall with her on it, but he carefully lies her down at the edge of it. He kisses her one last time before getting on his knees on the floor in front of her. He distracts her by kissing her lower stomach while he drags her pants and panties down. Then his head disappears between her thighs. She hears him chuckle and groan when he sees how wet she already is, but she doesn’t have the strength to rebuke him. Even less when she feels his tongue licking all the length of her core.

She forgets everything but the feeling of his mouth and his hands on her. This time she doesn’t hold back her moans and cries, and he seems to like that. He makes her come, harder than she ever had before.

As she comes down from her high, she feels him chuckle against her skin as he kisses his way up her stomach, nuzzling her sweater out of the way. She takes off her sweater and brings him up to her. She can taste herself on his mouth, and it’s strangely arousing. He doesn’t break the kiss to take off his shirt and pants, but he can’t help a sharp intake of breath when she takes him in hand through his boxers.

He takes them off too and position himself between her legs He looks at her to asks her permission and, when she nods, pushes himself inside her.

And it’s amazing. Even better than the first time. Because they know each other a little better and because they aren’t restricted in anything. She can scream her pleasure and they can take all the time they need to give pleasure to the other. It’s slow and mindful. Intense and powerful. His hands and his mouth are everywhere on her, trying to learn what she likes best, and she feels worshiped. She wants to crawl under his skin.

It feels like they are one unique being.

They come as one.

Afterward, they roll on their backs to catch their breath. Sheexpects him to bolt away but he stays and keeps her close to him. They cuddle for a little while, and it feels almost as good. In a more domestic way. It’s an intimacy she had never known, and never knew she craved.

She decides to gather her courage and ask him about his past. Confessions on the dead of the night are her best chance to get something from him. And she really wants to know him, understand him.

“ _Why did_ _n’t you go back_ _?”_ she whispers, caressing his chest to soften the ‘ _blow’_ and hooking her leg across him to keep him in place.

He sighs but doesn’t tense. He keeps running his hand on her forearm distractedly. Thinking about his answer.

“ _I had to stay after my mother and my brother died... Take care of the house… the papers..”_ he stopped, a wistful look on his face. “ _And I wasn’t in any state to go back to city. And I didn’t want to… Playing wasn’t appealing to me anymore.”_

“ _Is that… Is that why you started drinking?”_

“ _What? How do you know about that?”_ he frowned, his hands stilling and hovering right above her skin.

“ _I lived in rich society, I know the signs.”_ she answers, running her hand on his yellowish skin and the little tender pouch on his stomach. “ _You stay away from anything alcoholic, you still have a light jaundice and you have tremors when you’re nervous.”_ She kisses his pectoral to soften the blow.

He just nods for a few seconds. Then shakes his head.

“ _I didn’t_ start _drinking then, I used to drink a lot before. Like any_ _good_ _musician_ _ought to_ _…”_ he scoffs. _“But that’s when it grew… out of control,_ _yeah_ _.”_ he admitted.

“ _And what made you stop?”_ she asks softly.

“ _The girls.”_ this time he doesn’t hesitate. He is proud of that, of them, it’s so obvious. “ _Well, I had reduced a lot already since Sae_ _had handed_ _me the dinner. Chaff had been on my back on that… But it was either I went to rehab to completely stop, either the girls were sent into the system. Separately. I couldn’t let that happen.”_ he shakes his head.

“ _You did the right thing. They couldn’t have found_ _a_ _better_ _family…_ _You always make sure they don’t miss anything._ _”_ she says planting a firm kiss on his neck.

He shrugs and doesn’t answer but holds her even closer.

They stay like that for a while and when she feels herself drifting off she turns and he follows to spoon her.

“ _Don’t mind if I stay?”_ he mumbles, apparently half asleep himself.

“ _Of course not.”_ she answers, tightening her hold on the arm around her stomach. She can’t help a little smile to tug at her lips.

She is almost completely gone when she hears him whisper something in her nape. He sounds much more awake than he did a few minutes before.

“ _Now, they don’t miss anything.”_

xxx

They wake up with her alarm at five am.

They cuddle and kiss for a moment in the bed before sharing a mischievous shower and going down to bake.

He helps her with her preparations until around 7:30. With his help, everything had been faster so it’s all ready an hour earlier than usual. They have largely compensated the time lost in the shower… He even has time to make her coffee. And even in _her_ kitchen with _her_ coffee machine, he manages to give it the same taste it has at the dinner.

“ _Do you want to come with me get_ _to_ _the girls at Sae’s?”_ he asks as they’re silently sipping their coffee.

“ _I’d love to!”_ she beams at him and he gives her back her smile. “ _Let me go get dressed!”_ she says as she hurries upstairs to get ready.

She keeps her makeup light, first because she doesn’t really have time to do much, and also because him liking her without any gave her back some confidence. Then she quickly puts on a pair of jeans, boots and a thin beige cashmere sweater with embroidered pearls.

When she gets back downstairs she finds Haymitch talking with Portia, who watches her get down with a smirk. She discretely rolls her eyes at her friend, and playfully mouths her that she is in no place to talk.

Portia simply giggles at that, and wishes them a good walk as they get out.

They walk for twenty minutes, heading to the residential area at the edge of the town that is called _The Village._

They go through the meadow, walking hand in hand, talking about the town and other meaningless things. She’s still surprised that he accepts to show his relation with her so soon – they hadn’t even really talked about what kind of relation it was yet -, but she doesn’t comment on it. She doesn’t want to spoil the moment. Besides, they are practically alone, so there is no real reason to hide.

The meadow is beautiful. She hadn’t been there often, only the few times she changed her usual running path, when she needed a longer one to burn the extra cookies she had eaten.

The grass is of a vivid green, partly hidden by the dead leaves from the trees at the edge. Some of them are already naked, others still have their colorful mantle, and others are tall dark green pines.

With the fog and the pale orange light of the early morning, there is something romantic in this scenery.

She is surprised when they arrive at the _Village._ She would never have imagined a humble woman like Sae would live in such an expensive part of the town.

She is even more surprised when Haymitch stops in front of a not so white anymore big house, that she recognizes from the family picture he keeps on his shelf. It’s nothing like the house she had seen on the picture. The paint is faded and dirty, some shutters are broken, all the second floor curtains are closed and the wrap around porch is filled with old broken furniture. As for the garden, the pretty flowers and rose bushes have disappeared, replaced by weeds and unkempt lawn.

It contrasts a lot with the others primped houses in the neighborhood. She recognizes some names on the mailboxes, and she isn’t surprised by most of them, Snow, Flickerman-Templesmith, Heavensbee… all the big heads in town.

Haymitch had stopped at the fence, but he wasn’t making any move to open it. Instead, he just puts his hand behind to ring the little bell acting as a doorbell.

If he sees her frown and puzzled expression, he doesn’t say, he only waits with his hands in his back and his eyes on the front door. He doesn’t seem well, he keeps a step between him and the fence, like if he was afraid to touch it.

Then the front door opens, and two little rockets pounce on them, followed at a lower pace by the old lady.

No one there seems to find Haymitch’s attitude weird.

Sae comes to salute them and exchange a few words, says goodbye to the girls and goes back inside. All this time, Haymitch hasn’t moved, it’s Katniss who unlocks the fence and shuts it behind Prim.

After a quick hug to each of the girls, they are on their way back to the town. They stop at the meadow to let the girls play with the squirrels.

She waits until they are out of earshot to ask him the question that’s burning her lips. And he must be waiting for it because he hasn’t said a word since they left the house.

“ _How can Sae afford a house like this_ _alone_ _?”_

“ _It’s not her house. It’s mine. Well… it was my family’s, but now...”_ he turns toward her to see her frown and sighs. _“I won a lot of money with the competitions and concerts. One day I decided to buy them the house, so they could have a nice life while I’m away. But one day, I came back to_ _find it on fire, with my mother and my brother still inside. They didn’t make it…”_

She read the guilt on his clenched jaw and fists. His eyes are away, following the girls running in the wet tall grass. She carefully puts a hand on his arm.

“ _It wasn’t your fault Haymitch.”_ He doesn’t answer that. She can feel that she could say it a thousand times, he would never believe it. He is the kind of person who always takes the responsibility of everything.

“ _The town paid for the reparations. It was as good as new. But it wasn’t the same. I’ve never been able to put a foot in there. Not since I came into the ruins. All I could save were a few pictures and old stupid trinkets...”_

“ _Well you have a brand new_ _stupid_ _one here now.”_ she jokes as she slips her hand in his pocket to take his hand, linking their arms and getting closer while she is at it. Using his warm and giving him hers.

He snorts at her poor pun, but holds her hand tight in his.

“ _So I_ _gave it to Sae and her daughter when she gave me the diner and the apartment that goes with it. It seemed like the normal thing to do.”_ he finished his story.

“ _Sae has got a daughter?”_ she had never seen or heard of her.

“ _Had. She died a few years ago, she had Down syndrome._ _That’s one reason why Sae retired. That and her smoking taking its toll on her.”_ he explains. It was easy to see that he didn’t like that. He loved Sae and he didn’t like to know her ill.

She squeezes his hand in comfort, safely hidden in his pocket.

She too lets her gaze follow the girls while her mind wanders somewhere else. How can someone have so many misfortunes in his life? And be so strong about it?

She almost feels silly with her little _tale of woe…_

When the girls come back to them, with their pants and shoes all muddy, they resume their trip back home. The girls are a little tired and Prim asks Haymitch to take her in his arms. He lets go of her hand to haul the little girl up.

Effie is about to put her hands in her pockets, to protect them from the cold, when she feels something cold touching her. She looks down to see a shy Katniss slipping her little hand in hers. She takes it firmly and here they are, walking down the streets like a perfect little family.

Seeing them like that, no one could imagine all the cracks and scars they hide.

Effie catches herself dreaming that this could become something real in the future, them as a – makeshift but real- family.

She is startled from her daydream by Haymitch’s elbowing her playfully. She watches around her and realizes they have arrived in front of her shop. She quickly blinks back the tears in her eyes, wishes the girls a good day at school and kisses them goodbye. Haymitch simply winks at her and they leave her at her door.

xxx

They see each other everyday for the next week, for coffee, for the girls, or for themselves, and the more they see each other the less they seem to be able to stop.

One day,in the afterglow of a particularly good moment at her place he asks her a question she wasn’t expecting.

“ _Hey princess, could you make a cake for Prim’s birthday on Saturday?”_ he mumbles, his nose buried in her hair.

“ _What?!”_ she jumps in horror, absolutely furious. She catches her pillow and hit him with it in rhythm with her words. “ _Why didn’t you tell me before?! I’ll have to find a present! And make her the best cake ever! I can’t count on you, you’re the worst!”_ she rants, until he catches the pillow and tosses it away in the bedroom.

“ _Hey hey hey! Calm down it’s no big deal!”_ he laughs, trying to bring her back in the bed.

“ _No big deal? Of course it’s a big deal! I want everything to be perfect for Prim! I even could have organized the whole day!”_ she winces and whimpers “ _Oh I cannot believe you didn’t tell me about Prim’s birthday…_ _It’s in two days..._ _”_ He succeeds in making her lie back against him in the bed, and kisses her forehead. She is still tensed and mad but she can’t resist melting a little on him, softened by the warmth of his skin and the caresses on her back.

“ _Don’t work yourself up like that. The cake will already be a great present, sweetheart.”_ she sighs on his chest and it makes him shiver. “ _We’re simple people, she doesn’t need a_ _party or any fancy shit_ _.”_

She tenses full force again and there is no way he doesn’t feel it. He has a talent for adding insult to injury. She only wanted to do something nice for a little girl she loves, and here she is, accused of spoiling and being a bad influence on the girls.

She sits at the edge of the bed and covers herself with her robe.

“ _Sweetheart...”_ she has her back to him but she can hear the wince and the annoyance in his voice.

“ _It’s fine, I’ll make her_ _cake. I’ll ask Hazelle to bring her tomorrow to choose the flavor.”_ she says as she stands and walks to the bathroom, refusing to let him see her cry. She hopes he’ll take the hint and leave.

She knows he surely didn’t mean it like that but it still stings. She will always be seen like that, the _City Princess._ Sometimes it will be a compliment and sometimes it will be an insult. But she simply wants him to understand that never, under any circumstances, she will try to change the girls. Especially not in ‘ _spoiled brats’._

When she gets out of her shower, he is gone. And she doesn’t see him the next days. She doesn’t go and he doesn’t come.

But she sees the girls, when Hazelle brings them after school the next day.

They take an hour to talk and taste the different flavors of cake. Hazelle has the tact of not talking about Haymitch, but Effie can see that she knows something happened.

After numerous testings, Prim’s choice is made. Strawberry and vanilla it will be.

On Saturday, she shows up with the cake, a big vanilla flower cake with strawberry cream and fresh fruit,a big 3 shaped candle, _and_ a present, a dress made by Portia and herself with floral embroideries.

Haymitch invites her in the kitchen to put the cake on a plate, and she follows him. They are alone but they can hear the children running and playing in the apartment. He puts a tray on the table and waits until she has installed the cake on it to talk.

“ _Effie, I… I’m sorry.”_ he says, staying next to her but not daring to touch her yet.

She turns to face him, not quite mad but not really happy either.

“ _I don’t want to change the girls, and certainly not change them into ‘me’. I just wanted to be nice.”_ she clarifies “ _I am sorry I overreacted.”_

“ _You already changed them, in a good way. They needed someone like you. What I don’t want is for them to get used to a way of life they might lose later and get hurt.”_ she nods, because she can perfectly understand what he means. She had lived that.

She lets him come closer and take her in his arms. He kisses her lightly and they hug for a while, settling the argument. Then he moves back a little to look at her intensely, frowning _._

“ _I would be proud if they become like you.”_ he whispers. She isn’t so sure herself, but she gives him a small smile before dragging him back to the living room with the children.

There are a lot of children running everywhere. Katniss and Prim of course, she recognizes Vick and Rory, two of Hazelle’s kids too, Rue, and the girls introduce her to Madge, Annie and the famous Peeta.

They relocate to the diner, privatized for the occasion, to eat the cake and give Prim her presents.

They are all sweet but they are numerous and full of energy and it’s hard to keep an eye on everyone. They decide to take them to the park to let them play and run as they wish, she even lets herself be dragged to play blind man’s buff.

When she comes back to him, panting and certainly all disheveled and blushed, Haymitch is looking at her with an amused smirk and a weird look. She doesn’t have time to linger on it because it begins raining and they have to take the children back inside.

It’s a relief when their parents come to get them -even if after meeting his mother, she would almost have asked Haymitch to adopt Peeta too – and they can finally go rest upstairs.

The two girls have eaten much too much sugar and go directly to their room to sleep.

Prim clings to her to attract her in her tiny bed, so she sits beside her and tells her a story until she falls asleep. She stands up slowly and kisses her blond curls before turning to the door to see Haymitch against the door frame, his arms crossed in front of him, with the same look he had earlier.

They get downstairs together without a word. Once safely in the living room, he wraps his arms around her.

“ _So, what should I do to make it up to you Princess?”_ he whispers, nibbling on the lobe of her ear.

She cannot help a chuckle at this terrible attempt at playfulness and turns in his arms to kiss him firmly on the mouth. He takes the hint and carries her to the bedroom.

That night is different. It’s slow, sweet and passionate. Loving. It’s perfect.

She doesn’t ask him if he wants her to stay. The fact that he spoons her tight against his chest to the point that she can barely move is enough of a clue. He barely gives her enough room to grab her panties and tank top and put them on. She catches their reflection in the mirror on the wall. He isn’t sleeping, not at all. He is looking away, with a hard look on his face. He almost looks worried.

She strokes his forearms with her fingers soothingly.

“ _What’s going on?”_ she asks. He takes a deep breath.

“ _They’re happy now you’re here.”_ he pauses for a while. “ _They really love you..._ _”_

“ _And I really love them too.”_ she says, entwining their fingers on her stomach.

 _And I won’t go anywhere, I won’t abandon them or_ _you_ _,_ is what this means.

xxx

The end of the month comes and with it the Thanksgiving frenzy.

And for the first time in her life, Effie doesn’t have a family to celebrate with. It hurts, but maybe it’s better than suffering a whole week of reminders of her failure and blind dates, like she used to. Even Portia is leaving to go to her parents in Chicago.

She had never been alone on any holiday actually, and she has no idea of what to do.

She cannot invite anyone in her small apartment, even just with her and Haymitch in it, it feels crowded. And nobody has invited her yet. Well, Portia had asked her, but she doesn’t want to take Cinna’s place as her holiday date or hold the candle for three days so she had declined her offer. But she still has some hope that Haymitch will.

One morning, she arrives at the diner and spots Chaff in front of the door. He is looking inside with an amused smile, his hands in his pocket, making no move to enter.

She quickly understands the origin of his amusement as she comes closer the building.

“ _I’ll shove you your turkey where the sun doesn’t shine!!”_ she hears Haymitch yell inside.

Just as a big thud echoes, the front door opens and immediately shuts behind a very defeated Plutarch.

“ _You’ll have more luck at Easter, Heavensbee.”_ Chaff laughs patting his back.

“ _I hope so...”_ the poor man sighs. “ _Chaff, Miss Trinket.”_ he salutes them before leaving.

They both look at the retreating man with a smile for a moment. Then Chaff opens the door and holds it open for her.

“ _Come in love.”_

It’s the first time he speaks to her really nicely, without any underlying aggressiveness.

They enter to find Haymitch pacing behind his counter, red as a tomato.

“ _Hey! How are you buddy?”_

“ _Hey.”_ he answers flatly. “ _Hey sweetheart.”_ he adds once he has finally turned his head toward them. _“I…_ _am… great!”_ That’s an obvious lie, but she bites the inside of her cheeks to keep a smile from slipping on her lips. Something tells her he would not take it very well.

Instead she lets Chaff handle the situation, and observes them a little. She never really had the occasion.

“ _Yeah…_ _So, what are you bringing to Hazelle’s party?”_

Haymitch freezes as he puts her coffee in front of her, he doesn’t notice that she has frozen too. She can feel colors escaping her face and a cold shiver running down her body, soon replaced by a wave of heat creeping up to her cheeks.

Of course, Chaff notices and understands. He looks a little sheepish when their eyes cross, she has to give him that.

“ _I don’t know, I had forgot_ _ten_ _to be honest. But same as usual I guess.”_ Haymitch grumbles, oblivious of their silent conversation.

“ _Okay. We’ll bring the meatloaf and cornbread. As usual.”_ Chaff answers, truly ill at ease. “ _Well, see you Haymitch. See you love.”_ he says as he stands to leave, putting a hand on her shoulder on his way out.

She sips her coffee silently, and Haymitch doesn’t pay attention to her. He’s still mad after Plutarch’s intervention and he’s been wiping frenetically the same glass for two minutes.

She can’t be mad at him, he cannot invite her to someone else’s place. But he could at least have told her. She isn’t really mad at Hazelle either, they’re friends but that’s all, and she’s new in town, and apparently this seems to be some kind of tradition. She doesn’t expect to be included that easily after only three months here. And Hazelle knew nothing of her situation, so she must have assumed that she would be going back to her family for the holiday. Like any normal person would do.

She is mostly mad at herself for having hope, her mother had always told her that having hope could only lead to hurt, that the only things she should have were expectations. Maybe that for that one thing she was right after all…

She leaves him to his brooding and goes back to the shop, resigned to be alone like an old maid with her cat for Thanksgiving.

xxx

The whole town is crazy and she doesn’t have a minute for herself that week. She is inundated with orders for Thanksgiving. Everyone seems to be really happy to have a new pastry chef in town. Everyone but Haymitch apparently, she has barely seen him these last few days, only to go get her coffee and that’s all.

Two days before the fateful date, Hazelle comes in the shop with Posy to order desserts for her thanksgiving dinner. She shows her all of her recipes and lets her choose.

“ _So, I’ll take one pumpkin pie, one apple and raisin pie, a pecan cheesecake and a box of chocolate truffles and candies...”_ she enumerates after reading all the menu. _“Thank you so much for your help, you’re really the best!”_ she seems so happy that Effie tries to match her enthusiasm.

“ _Wow, that’s a big order!”_ she jokes as warmly as she can.

“ _Yes, we have Sae, Chaff, Seeder, Haymitch and all the kids over so… that’s a lot of mouths to feed!”_

Effie laughs and takes a paper to write her order down. Then comes the question she dreaded.

“ _What about you Effie? Where are you going?”_

She pretends to be focused on writing the order to avoid answering or at least use the time to think of something, but she hears Hazelle’s gasp and it’s too late.

“ _Oh my god! I’m going to kill him!”_ she whispers-shouts not to disturb the other clients. “ _I had told him to tell you! I had even implied that he could bring a date if he wanted...”_

“ _It’s alright Hazelle.”_ she tries to laugh the matter off. “ _I can use the night off, I’ll be exhausted anyway.”_ And that’s not really a lie, with the schedule she’ll have to keep the coming days, she will certainly fall once the shop’s door is locked.

“ _Nonsense!”_ Effie startles at the authority in Hazelle’s tone. She feels like a child being chided. “ _I’ll come at six to take the cakes, and you with it!”_ She says in a no-argument-possible tone before storming off, muttering things about how she’s going to beat the shit out of him.

“ _Hazelle I’m_ _not_ _really sure it is a good…. Idea...”_ Effie tries uselessly because she is already out now…

She is on the brink of tears now, but she has to put herself together as an other customer comes in.

If he hasn’t told her, he must really not want her there. Maybe he had grown bored of her after all, that would explain why he is so distant lately. She just isn’t part of the family that’s all. She never has been.

But now that Hazelle has invited her, she knows she’ll have to go. She’ll drag her by the ear if she has to, Effie knows her enough to know that.

She really doesn’t want to go now. He will be mad at her for intruding, she will have to fake cheerfulness for Hazelle, she will feel completely out of place…. It’s going to be terribly awkward…

xxx

She doesn’t see Haymitch at all for the next days, they don’t even text or call either. She has too much work to do during the day, and she even has to go to the closest mall to buy all the groceries she needs on the evenings.

On the night before Thanksgiving, she has to begin all her preparations. All the ones that need to be done early or to rest in the fridge overnight. When she comes back to her apartment, she is covered in chocolate, dough, and she reeks of spice mix and vanilla aroma, so she runs directly in the shower.

Then she resigns herself to look at what she has to wear. She will have to go anyway so better be at her best. At least if he dumps her, for whatever reason – maybe he’s grown bored, or she did something or else -, she’ll show him what he’ll miss. She won’t let him see her broken, she will keep her eyes bright, her chin up and her smile on.

She settles her choice on a sapphire blue dress that matches her eyes, with long sleeves letting her shoulders bare, a sweetheart neckline and a knee length long pencil skirt that Portia had made for her for her birthday a year ago. It’s silk on the inside and suede outside with geometrical holes and embroideries on the hem of the skirt.

She gets back in her bedroom to find her phone flashing. She take sit to find one missed call from Haymitch. It was two hours ago, it’s late now and the girls must be asleep. And she doesn’t know what to say to him. She keeps her head in the sand and doesn’t call back, she’d rather confront the matter face to face.

Instead she goes to sleep, she’ll need it if she wants to face the huge day coming.

She doesn’t have one minute free the next day, between finishing the orders in the morning and handing them to the clients in the afternoon. And of course, when Hazelle arrives at six sharp, she isn’t anywhere near ready.

“ _What is that? Go upstairs get ready immediately!”_ she exclaims as she gets in and sees her behind her counter.

She still has a mountain of boxes behind her to be given.

“ _I still have orders to sell, go I’ll catch up when I’m done.”_ It never costs anything to try…

“ _I’ll take care of it. Shoo! Now!”_ she demands her with her finger pointing to the back door. She sighs and refrains from answering ‘ _Yes mother.’_ and obeys.

She takes a quick shower, styles her hair in a messy bun with a blue ribbon weaving in her blond curls, does her makeup -light-, and puts on her dress and her blue stilettos.

When she gets down, Hazelle whistles and catcalls her playfully.

“ _You. Are. Gorgeous!”_ she beams. “ _Let’s go!”_

Indeed the pile of boxes is now reduced to the four ones of her order. Hazelle drags her to her car with all the boxes and drives her to her place. She has no escape possible now, she’s trapped.

Sae is already there taking care of the kids when they arrive.

The house isn’t big but the space is perfectly used, it’s homey lived in but clean. The first floor is one big room with the living area on one side, the dining room on the other and a half open kitchen in the back. The smell of the turkey and stuffing is filling the air and cranberry and gravy sauces are getting heated on the stove. The perfect picture of a family house.

She is helping Hazelle with the presentation of the desserts when Chaff, Seeder and the kids arrive. They put a big meatloaf and a basket of cornbread on the table and come to greet them. Seeder simply pecks her cheek, but Chaff takes her in his arms.

“ _It’s good you’re here, love.”_ he whispers in her ear. She is a little embarrassed but she gives him a small smile. If only he knew how much she wants to run away from here…

Half an hour later, she is in the kitchen making a salad when Haymitch knocks at the door. She reflexively goes to hide behind one of the rare walls in the room to avoid, well delay, the confrontation as long as possible. Which is stupid, she might as well show her presence now instead of hiding cowardly. She isn’t doing anything wrong, just having Thanksgiving dinner at a friend’s.

She can’t avoid him when he comes to the kitchen to put his dishes there. Mashed potatoes, green beans and pumpkin gratin. She’d rather look at those than at him.

He comes closer but she still avoids to look at him directly. From the corner of her eyes she can see him rubbing his nape and shuffling on his feet.

“ _Sweetheart…”_

She wants to look angry and upset, make him understand _he_ did something wrong, but she only manages to look afraid and apologetic. She can’t even persuade her own body that she is sure it isn’t _her_ fault. She still expects him to tell her she shouldn’t be here, she doesn’t belong here. That he doesn’t want her here.

“ _I… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I wasn’t sure you would want to come here, with us.”_ she shots him her best _are you dumb_ look, and waits for a better explanation, a _real_ one, with her arms crossed on her chest. He sighs but nothing comes. 

“ _You.. weren’t sure I would want to spend Thanksgiving with the people I owe thanks the most to… People I care about most here… Great reasoning...”_ she deadpans, turning back toward the stove to put his dishes to heat and to hide the tears in her eyes. 

“ _Princess, I… Fuck you’re gorgeous...”_ her eyebrows are almost melting into her hair line when she turns her head to him. “ _Sorry. I… don’t do holidays. Well, I didn’t used to. The girls are young, they don’t really care, but this… This I… forgot. I forgot how to do all that. I’m a regular Scrooge and you’re … well you’re a… merrymaker. I didn’t want to spoil your joy.”_ he struggles to find his words but she understands. But she can’t completely forgive, he could have told her. Couples talk. Well, if they are a couple that is…

“ _Well… You did anyway…”_ she shrugs. 

“ _Yeah, I’m sorry. Really... Guess, deep down, I was also afraid we would not be… good enough for you. We’re a weird family. The widow, the coarse uncle, the broken man and an armful of children. Not really what one would dream about.”_

He was looking at his shoes so he couldn’t see her shake her head.

“ _You’re an idiot...”_ she whispers to hide her cracking voice. She doesn’t want to cry now. She didn’t cry of sadness, she won’t cry of relief. And she can’t ruin her makeup now. 

“ _Yeah...”_

“ _You’re the only family I have, and I would choose you over anybody else...”_ she admits, whacking his chest to emphasize her words, and channel her anger in something else than tears. 

H e doesn’t say anything, but he hesitantly take s her in his arms. She lets him, happy to burrow her face in his neck and to breath his smell of cologne, coffee and… him.  She had been so worried at the idea of never do ing that again… 

H e takes a step back to look at her, stroking her cheek absentmindedly. 

“ _Damn, you’re so beautiful.”_

“ _So I’ve been told.”_ she answers playfully. He leans to kiss her but just as their mouths brush they are cut by two little bullets barging in the room.

“ _Effie!!”_

She crouches to hug the girls, and then lets herself be dragged in the dining room.

They all gather around the two aligned tables. She sits with Haymitch at her side, Sae facing her.

They eat, talk, laugh, telling stories and anecdotes about each others, and everything is perfect. Like she has always imagined a thanksgiving dinner would be.

She can feel Chaff’s scrutinizing gaze on her, on _them_ , quite often but she doesn’t care. Not when she is distracted by Haymitch’s hand wandering on her thigh or squeezing her hand under the table. He even ends the dinner with his arm on the back of her chair.

After dinner, the children run upstairs to play while the adults stay in the living room with coffee, tea, and Effie’s chocolate candies.

Haymitch settle next to her on the couch and puts his arm around her shoulders. She isn’t even sure he realizes it. All the others _do_ realize but no one dare make a comment on it. All she can see are amused or fond smirks tugging on some lips.

Chaff and Seeder are the first to leave. They hug everyone goodbye, and she can feel a real shift in Chaff’s attitude. He is less wary. She must have gained her spurs… He whispers something she can’t catch to Haymitch, who clasps his shoulder but doesn’t answer.

Then it’s their turn to go. She accepts the lift he proposes her, and they leave with the two very sleepy girls in his truck.

“ _Do you want to come in? For one last tisane?”_ he asks as he parks in front of the diner.

“ _I’d love to.”_ she laughs discretely because of the sleeping girls in the back.

Once the girls in bed, he comes back down with her in the living room, gives her a mug and then goes to take something in a drawer. He comes to sit with her and puts something cold in her hand.

She opens it to find a big silver key.

“ _It’s for the back door. So you can come whenever you want… if you need something. To see the girls. Whatever.”_

That’s the proof of commitment she needed to be perfectly reassured after her little panic. She can’t do anything else but kiss him soundly and passionately.

She only breaks the kiss to stir him toward the bedroom.

“ _Good, I wanted to take that dress off you all night.”_ he smirks and she kisses him silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! They made some progress didn’t they?   
> I hope you liked this chapter, tell me every thought that crossed your mind about it!   
> See you next Thursday for more… adventures! ;) xxx


	4. December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought last chapter was long? Ha!   
> Again, sorry for those who don’t like that but I can’t help myself…   
> Anyway, I hope you’ll like this part, it’s angsty and fluffy, and everything Hayffie needs!   
> (this part was proofread under the heavy influence of opiates, so please, don’t be angry with me, blame my dentist and codeine… And do not hesitate to tell me if you see any mistake left! ^^)   
> And as usual, please leave a review, I love reviews. They warm my heart.

**December**

That morning, Effie is walking with a spring in her steps.

It’s the first day of December, and December means Christmas!

She is sporting her best smile when she arrives at the diner, but it quickly disappears when she hears the commotion inside.

She should have known, holidays means decorations, decorations means Plutarch’s speech, and Plutarch’s speech leads inevitably to Haymitch’s screams. But this time it’s worst than the arguments she had witnessed before.

She doesn’t even need to enter to hear them.

“ _Come on, Haymitch. Please, the whole town is participating, we need you too. To be very honest, the participation is mandatory. If you don’t we’ll be disqualified.”_

“ _I don’t care about your stupid fucking contest Plutarch._ _I won’t put a single fucking ornament in this fucking diner!”_

“ _Haymitch…_ _At least do it for the girls,_ _they deserve it_ _… It’s been almost twe..._ _”_

Plutarch doesn’t have time to end his sentence. He is cut by a glass crashing against the wall inches away of his head.

“ _OUT!”_

Plutarch doesn’t linger any longer and storms out of the diner, almost jostling her on his way out. His face is red and white, still shocked by Haymitch’s outburst of fury.

“ _Oh! Miss Trinket! I’m sorry!”_

“ _No harm done.”_ she reassures him. “ _What happened in here? Are you ok?”_

“ _Yes, yes, I am fine do not worry about me. I should… I shouldn’t have pushed him. I should have known but…”_ he stammers.

“ _What do you mean you should have known?”_

“ _I should know better than to bother_ _him_ _at this time of the year but… This contest is really important for me and the town. I don’t know what to do...”_ he truly seems upset now. Torn between his loyalty to his friend and to his town.

“ _What’s this contest?”_

“ _A decoration contest, it’s the first time we’re_ _selected in ten years! But it is imperative that all the shops in town participate and at least_ _sixty_ _percent of the privates houses. We can’t be disqualified now...”_

“ _Maybe… I can try to talk to him...”_

“ _That would be great. This contest is really important and I really believe it’s important for him too. He needs to move on…”_

What does he mean by that? Where does his hatred for decorating come from? Can it be because of his family… He _had_ mentioned something that had happened years ago…

“ _I’ll get back to you Mr Heavensbee. I need to go!”_

Effie leaves him there and enters the diner. Haymitch is not back from the kitchen yet so she settles at a table to wait for him. After fifteen minutes, he still isn’t back.

He must need some privacy and she can understand that, but she is getting a little worried. It’s not like him to abandon his diner and customers like that.

When she passes the kitchen threshold, she sees him sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, breathing heavily. She hesitates but she comes closer slowly.

“ _Haymitch…_ _?”_ she asks softly. He doesn’t answer at first, doesn’t even acknowledges her presence. So she tries again. “ _Haymitch?”_

“ _Get out, Princess.”_ he sighs, his voice hoarse and low. He doesn’t even lifts his head to look at her.

“ _Haymitch. Talk to m...”_ she crouches and lifts a hand to touch him but she doesn’t have time to reach him.

“ _Get out!”_ he shouts, slamming a hand on the cupboard next to him and still hiding his face in the other.

She startles and jumps on her feet. She had never seen him violent before. Tears comes to her eyes and a shiver creeps on her back, and she runs out the kitchen and out the diner.

Once back to the shop, she is mad at herself for leaving him, for letting fear win over her good sense. She shouldn’t have left him there alone, she should have talked to him, helped him, coaxed him back with her. That’s what girlfriends – if that’s what she is to him – are for. He can’t lock himself up in his grief like that forever…

She considers going to see Chaff to know a little more about it but she quickly abandons the idea. Haymitch would end up knowing it and he wouldn’t like that. Instead, she decides to leave him his space for the day. She will try again when she feels him ready. She wants to help him, but for that, she needs to know.

The next days, he is still tensed and anywhere near ready. It even gets worse.

As much as she tries, she can’t get to him. He doesn’t respond to her attempts at bickering like he used to, he barely reacts to her flirting, and he refuses any kind of serious conversation.

He doesn’t really talk to anybody to be honest. But all the people witnessing her dismay shoot her apologetic looks, but no help. Hazelle in particular, keeps telling her not to worry with a sorry little smile.

She hates it. She feels like of she’s not worthy of this big secret. She feels like she’s no one for them again.

On the third day, he snaps at her one time too many, in the almost crowded diner of five in the afternoon, and she runs away, not hiding her hurt and her tears.

She can understand hurt -even if she doesn’t know the nature of it-, but she cannot bear to be his punching bag anymore, even less in public. She can’t do all the work by herself, if he wants to get better he must talk to her.

But maybe that’s the thing. Maybe he doesn’t really want to get better. And maybe he doesn’t want _her_ to help him to get better.

She feels bad when she thinks about the girls, not having a real Christmas with a tree, decorations and winter activities... But she feels even worse after for her patronizing thoughts.

Who is she to decide how he should raise his children after all…

She doesn’t see him the next day. Or the day after.

She tries to convince herself it’s because she’s angry, but it’s a lie.

She’s afraid.

Afraid to take the blow once more, afraid of his rejection, afraid to loose him. Afraid that the dream would end, or turn into a nightmare.

She is deeply persuaded that he must not care much about her to act like that with her. Or at least not as much as she cares for him. And she doesn’t want to be the naive one again.

So she chooses to stay in the dark.

Of course, Portia sees her distress. It’s quite hard to miss, she barely talks, chew her nails, spaces out… She asks her about it a few times, but Effie never answers the whole story. She doesn’t even know what to say to be honest. He was mad and rejected her, and what?

One evening, as she is taking away the lasts unsold goods in the kitchen, she hears the doorbell chime. What kind of customer comes in to an empty display?

The thought that it could be Haymitch doesn’t even brush her mind. She has no hope that he will come to apologize anymore…

She goes back in the shop to see who’s disturbing her habits, her mouth already open to tell the intruder they’re closed. But she can’t emit a single sound. She expected everything but Chaff in his blue overalls and with sludge on his face.

She believes it’s the first time she sees him genuinely smile at her. Not smirk, not laugh, smile. It’s an apologetic smile but for once, it’s not the smile of someone hiding a knife behind his back.

This time, she reopens her mouth to ask him what he wants at this late hour, but he is quicker.

“ _Are you okay love?”_ he asks with a concerned look on his face.

Not what she expected. She had steeled herself for a ‘ _what did you do to him? He is crushed, you destroyed him again.’._ She was certainly not prepared for him to be worried about her.

Her surprise must have been obvious on her face because he chuckled.

“ _Honestly? I don’t know...”_ she answers. She didn’t know what to say to Portia because she didn’t know Haymitch and she couldn’t help her. But if someone could enlighten her on what was going wrong, it was Chaff.

“ _Listen…_ _”_ he sighs coming closer to her behind the counter. “ _Don’t take it personally. It’s… it’s not a good period for him...”_

“ _What happened?”_ she asks with tears of exhaustion coming to her eyes. _“Everything was fine until… Plutarch’s visit...”_

He sighs and goes to sit at one of the tables, inviting her to do the same. She cannot help her education to strike at this moment.

“ _Do you want something to drink?”_ she asks him and he shots an amused but quite puzzled look as he shakes his head no. So she comes to sit in front of him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and choose his words before talking again.

“ _I guess you know about the fire that took his house.”_

She nods.

“ _Yes, he mentioned he had lost his mother and brother in a fire, but nothing else.”_ she precises.

“ _Well_ … _It happened on Christmas_ _E_ _ve. He was coming back from the city for the holiday, and he came back to find the house on fire and the firemen blocking the way. I_ _was one of them. I_ _had to hold him to prevent him from running in the fire. They… they were still inside,_ _trapped… A_ _live… We could hear them scream...”_ he stopped there, his eyes lost somewhere far through the window. He shook his head after a beat and took a deep breath. “ _The investigation concluded that the cause was a defective light string in the Christmas tree._ _It only took ten minutes for the living room to turn into a blaze…_ _There was nothing we could do._ _”_

She couldn’t say anything, only let the tears rolling down her cheeks. It’s the saddest story she has ever heard and she cannot imagine how he feels. She understands his aversion for holiday decorations and Christmas now. But she is also angry, because he didn’t tell her. He trusts her less than Chaff does, and Chaff is known for hating her badly.

She doesn’t understand why he refuses to talk to her. All the things she learned about him she had to pull them out at an opportune moment or she heard it from other people. It shouldn’t be like that, she shouldn’t have to fight all the time, he should be able to come to her willingly.

Chaff leaves her a few minutes to process the information before talking again.

“ _Listen hum… I know it’s hard, he’s not the most pleasant person right now but… Don’t let him win._ _He pushes everything that’s good for him away…_ _Keep being there, annoy him, even if he says he doesn’t want you to. It’s the best thing you can do._ _Don’t leave him alone._ _He hates it even more when people are… sorry for him._ _”_

“ _That’s why he didn’t told me?”_ she asks. Because he didn’t want her to change her behavior toward him?

“ _Maybe_ … _You must have been the only one in town who didn’t know.”_ he winces. “ _He can be a stupid man…”_

She nods with a chuckle.

She can at least try. She know what he means, he needs to be pushed, not cuddled.

“ _Why….”_ it’s not easy to formulate diplomatically. “ _Why do you… take my side? How do you know?”_ she asks him with a shaky voice.

“ _I don’t take your side, I take his. Always. Hopefully you’re on the same side...”_ she nods. Of course she is on his side. “ _And … people talk, if you really wanna know. Hazelle was furious at him._ _Even Snow told me he had succeeded to make you run away when he came for gas the other da_ _y.”_ he laughs good-heartedly. _“_ _And this morning, Portia came to see Cinna and to talk to me. She’s a real bulldog when you are concern_ _ed_ _…_ _”_

Oh the humiliation… The whole town knows about her ‘ _couple_ ’ fights… The perks of small towns…

But the picture of Portia biting Chaff’s head off about Haymitch makes her chuckle.

“ _Did_ he _talk to you?”_ That would be a good sign at least. If he has to talk about his regrets to someone it would be to Chaff.

Chaff takes a second to think his answer. _That’s_ no good sign…

“ _He doesn’t really talk to anyone. Me included.”_ he sighs. “ _I tried, but, I quote, it’s none of my fucking business so…. Here I am.”_ he says waving his hands in the air.

She can’t help laughing a little. She understands why Haymitch likes him so much, she begins to see the good man in him. He would do anything to help Haymitch, even things he would hate him for.

“ _Okay, I… I’ll try. I’ll find something to cheer him up.”_ she assures him, giving him the best smile she can, even if she knows her eyes don’t follow.

He pats her shoulder and stands to leave.

“ _Chaff?”_ He stops to look at her. “ _Thank you.”_

“ _You’re welcome, love.”_ he smiles and closes the door behind him.

xxx

The next morning, she walks to the diner. Determined to talk to Haymitch and to make him talk. At least to know if he cares about her or if it was only a fling. The silver key on her key ring seems to say otherwise but who knows… maybe another dozen women in town got a key to his bedroom…

Just as she passes in front of the grocery store, Mrs Latier, Katniss’s teacher, gets out and greets her.

“ _Hello, Wiress! How are you?”_ she asks politely, despite not being in the mood for small talk.

“ _Not too bad, not too bad._ _But we have a problem at school.”_ she winces, torturing her fingers with the stretched handles of her plastic bags.

“ _What is it?”_ Nothing with Katniss she hopes. Not that it would be _her_ problem but…

“ _We have this art project with the children to make Christmas decorations and Plutarch wants us to expose in town. But no merchant wants to host our exhibition. They all say they already have their own project and they don’t want it to be ruined by ‘children’s doodles’…”_

Effie stops her with a hand in front of her.

“ _Wiress, can I call you later? I think I know how to help you!”_ but for that, she needs to go right now. It’s gonna take a while and a lot of groveling…  She doesn’t wait for the answer and runs to the diner with a wave of the hand in Wiress direction. 

S he enters and he is behind his counter, scribbling things on a piece of paper.  He seems to be in a  _good-enough_ mood for now. 

She sits at the counter, across from him and waits for him to talk first. Caution…

He lifts his eyes to look at her and flashes her a short, sheepish smile.

“ _Hello princess.”_

“ _Hello Haymitch.”_ she remains as neutral as possible. She doesn’t want to spook him by being too cheerful. Not that she is cheerful, if anything she is at the verge of tears.

“ _Hum, you’re okay?”_

“ _I am fine, thank you.”_

He sighs. Not liking this cold dialogue more than she does.

“ _Do you want to come upstairs? I think we should talk…”_

“ _Yes, we should. But the diner...”_

“ _There’s no crowd. They won’t steal anything.”_ he shrugs walking toward the stairs. 

She follows him, a lump in her throat and with the impression to have a stomach made of lead.  She ha s never experienced that kind of fear.  She had never been in a ‘ _we should talk’_ situation before. With any of her boyfriends. Her relationships had been either too short to get to that or they had ended with much more theatrics. 

T hey stop in  the living room and he turns to face her. She leans against a table and crosses her arms in front of her. A defensive posture to hide her uneasiness and her terror.  And incidentally her trembling hands. 

H is face is closed, serious and sad. 

This time this is it…

Chaff was wrong.

“ _You’ve been a stranger...”_ he states flatly. 

Well… three days isn’t an eternity. But she hasn’t seen the girls for at least a week. Surely that is what he means. He can’t mean the fact that they haven’t seen _each other_ for a week, he cannot be that rude…

“ _Yes, I know I am sorry. I should have asked Hazelle to bring the girls at the shop.”_

“ _What?... The girls…?”_ he stammers, frowning, looking really puzzled. 

“ _Well, they never asked for me to ‘leave them alone and to mind my own freaking stupid business’. You did, they shouldn’t be the one to bear the consequences.”_ she is pushing him, she knows, using the girls is low but she aims to hurt. To make him realize. To make him talk. 

“ _Fuck...”_ He closes his eyes and rubs his face. _“I… I didn’t mean… You know you shouldn’t listen….”_

“ _No, I don’t, no.”_ She didn’t know at the moment. Now she does. But certainly not thanks to him. 

“ _Come on, you know I would never say that to you. You know I...”_

“ _No, Haymitch, I didn’t know. I don’t know.”_ she cuts him. He has to face his actions. “ _I didn’t know you hated Christmas, I didn’t know your family died on Christmas, I didn’t know I shouldn’t listen to your insults, I didn’t know I should have been careful with you, I didn’t know you regretted. Now I do, because Plutarch told me, Hazelle told me, Chaff told me.”_ And now she can’t stop, everything has to get out. “ _And I have no idea of what I mean to you! Because you never talk to me! And I can’t bear it anymore!”_

She is panting at the end of her rant. And he is watching her with his face twisted by rage and sadness, his fist clenched so tight his knuckles are white.

She retreats slightly,  wary to see him that  upset, and her back hits the wall. She only notices now the tears rolling on her cheeks.  She is frightened.  Maybe she has gone too far. She doesn’t know him that much after all and, at this instant, she is almost sure he is going to hit her. 

He pounces on her and she closes her eyes, preparing herself for the blow.

But he doesn’t hit her.

He kisses her.

Hard.

The kiss tastes of her tears and also his.  She can feels them rolling on her cheeks, mingling with her owns.

He holds her face in one hand and clutches her waist with the other.  Holding  her to him like a drowning man to his buoy. It kinda hurts but in a good way. He never stops kissing her.  It’s deep and violent, like they never have been.

S he can feel him against her lower belly but he doesn’t act on that. His grip on her is desperate, like if was trying to make her understand something he couldn’t say.  It almost hurts. 

“ _That’s what you mean to me. Fuck I can’t loose you… I can’t…”_ he pants, tears in his voice and his hand shaking against her cheek. “ _I… I’m sorry...”_

She knows he is honest. She can feel it. She has never seen him so vulnerable. And he has never said anything so meaningful before, as clumsy as it was.

So she kisses him again.

A nd again. 

Until she ends up pinned against the wall with her legs around his hips.  _Hell,_ she had missed him. 

She holds his head between her breast as she fumbles with his belt. He slaps her hand away and holds it  on the wall above her head. He doesn’t say anything  but look intensely in her eyes while popping the button of her jeans open.  Then he lowers his head to nip and lick at the skin under her ear and at her earlobe as he slips his hand in her panties and touches her. She gasps at the contact of his hot skin with her labia.  She can feel herself getting wet as he drags his finger along her core and presses his palm on her clit. 

S he looses all restraint when he begins fucking her with his fingers. He doesn’t have much room so his finger s curl inside more than they move and his palm rubs her clit at every movement.  She screams her pleasure as he whispers things in her ear. 

“ _Fuck…_ _I want you all the time… You’re a fucking drug…”_

She can’t hold it much longer, and she comes hard on his hand. He takes it out and she licks his fingers clean. He growls and kisses her possessively.

“ _Mine...”_

She kisses him harder to distract him and open his  jeans.  She strokes him a few times before turning around with a grin and putting her hands on the wall, exposing her behind at him to dispose as he wishes. 

H e comes behind her to kiss her neck and fondle her breast. 

“ _You’re so perfect. So fucking perfect…”_ he says repeatedly, pushing down her jeans and soaked panties to her knees. She wriggles her ass and pushes it a little to give him easier access. 

She feels his eyes on her and hears him jerking off right behind her.  He touches her ass, slaps her lightly, which makes her moan. 

Then he puts a hand at the small of her back and pushes his cock inside in one powerful thrust.

“ _And you’re mine…”_ he adds, with a both unconvinced and amazed tone. 

And then he begins thrusting hard and fast. At a punishing but pleasurable pace.

“ _Yes. Yes...”_ she answers, holding his hand on her breast and turning her head to kiss him. 

It’s quick and not really comfortable but she comes again. Screaming in the wall. She is certain that all the customers left in the diner heard her but she doesn’t care. Not when she feels him pulsing inside her with his own release.

He turns her in his arms and holds her as they fall on the floor. Spent and panting.  She must be a sight, with her jeans half taken off, her lace panties torn apart, her blouse open with her breast out of the cups and her hair in disarray.  She turns to look at him. He isn’t faring much better, with his wet shirt, his pant s  at his ankles and his mouth red with her lipstick. 

“ _I’m sorry princess. Really. I shouldn’t have insulted you… I… I…”_

“ _It’s okay Haymitch. It’s okay. I just don’t want you to keep things to yourself. I’m here for you. You know that.”_ she reassures him, putting her head on his lap. 

“ _Yeah_ …” he mutters, petting her hair with one hand and caressing her naked hip with the other. He is looking at her with awe, touching her with worship. 

S he chuckles lightly. 

“ _What? You’re mocking me?”_

“ _No.”_ she laughs. _“I was just thinking. It was our first fight and we settled it with sex. What does it say about us?”_ He laughs to but his eyes remain serious. 

“ _What did I do to deserve someone like you...”_ he asks to himself. She doesn’t answer but she kisses the only part of him she can reach from her position, his naked thigh and it makes him twitch right before her eyes. It makes them laugh again. 

“ _Already here for a second round?”_ she teases. 

“ _I’m not that young.”_ he sighs with faked despair. “ _Come on, I’ll make you coffee.”_

He outstretches a hand at her and helps her getting decent again. After a quick detour in the bathroom, she joins him downstairs.

He is still in the kitchen and hands her her cup of black coffee.

They come back in the diner and the few people left seem to avoid looking at them. The walls aren’t thick then…  She sits at the counter to hide her embarrassment. 

At least now, it’s really official.

“ _So_ … _There is something I need to talk to you about.”_ she asks warily. Even if they’re better now, it’s still a tricky topic to discuss. 

“ _Shoot.”_ he frowns. 

“ _Well, I don’t know if Katniss told you but, the kids have this winter themed art project at school...”_

“ _Yes she mentioned it._ ”

“… _and they need a place to expose their creations.”_ she stops to see if he reacts but he waits for her to continue. “ _So, I had a thought...”_

“ _You don’t say?!”_ she rolls her eyes at being cut like that but she is happy to have the banter back. She had missed it. 

“ _Maybe you could host the exhibition in the diner, it would save Wiress and save_ you _from Plutarch’s contest. It would only be children’s drawing but at least the diner would be considered decorated...”_ she can’t sell it better than that. 

H e processes her proposition for a minute, and she lets him. She doesn’t want him to feel forced, she wants it to come from him.  It has to be his own decision. 

“ _Yeah... Yeah ok, why not. If it can take Plutarch off my back…”_ he grumbles. 

“ _Thank you! And I’m sure it will please the children!”_ she jumps from her stool to kiss his cheek enthusiastically. “ _I have to go, see you tonight?”_

“ _Yes. You wanna come here?”_

“ _I’d love to!”_ she grins before sauntering out the diner. 

x xx

Three days later, it’s Friday afternoon, the diner is closed, and Effie, Wiress and the children are embellishing the room with their creations.

There are paper snowflakes, papier-maché garlands and ornaments, drawings of candles, reindeer, Santa, and socks, and vegetal wreaths. She had made sure that there would be nothing ‘dangerous’.

They had hanged some garlands, ornaments and wreaths on the doors and the counter, and now she is helping Wiress to hang the curtains of snowflakes at the top of the windows while the children stick the drawings and the snowflakes to the glass.

That’s the moment Haymitch chose to come back from his errands. He enters by the back door and freezes when he comes in the room. He doesn’t say anything, takes a deep breath and throw her a dark look before storming upstairs.

They all finish their work like if nothing had happened and after taking a few pictures and adding a sign to present the project and the artists, the children leave with their teacher, all except Katniss who stays there alone with Effie.

“ _We_ _have to show this to Prim!”_ the girl screams enthusiastically as soon as the door is closed. She takes Effie’s hand and drags her upstairs to go get her sister.

She almost falls a couple of times running in the stairs following Katniss. Once inside the apartment, she lets go of her hand to run to her sisters bedroom, and leaves Effie to face a very much sulking Haymitch.

“ _Haymitch...”_

“ _You said winter themed, not Christmas themed...”_ he grumbles, not lifting his eyes from his book.

“ _And what else is there to do in_ _winter_ _?”_ she laughs. He is almost cute, pouting like a child. “ _Come on, don’t sulk…”_ she teases him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and nuzzling the side of his neck.

“ _I’m not sulking. You lied to me.”_ he responds but doesn’t shove her away.

“ _I h_ _e_ _ld_ _a_ _tiny_ _part of the truth… But look how happy Katniss is, how Prim will be. It won’t hurt anybody, it’s just paper.”_ she stops mocking him and takes a kinder reassuring tone. She kisses the side of his neck and rubs his tensed shoulders. He sighs and turns his head to look at the two girls running down the stairs.

“ _Come on Haymitch! You have to see that!”_ Katniss exclaims, taking his hand and pulling on his arm to drag him out of the armchair. He resists for a while, amused by the sight of her little face reddening with the effort. Effie slaps his shoulder with a look and he stops.

They all get down to admire the result.

Haymitch takes Prim in his arms, as if to protect her until he’s sure it’s safe while Effie and Katniss stand proudly in the middle of the room, arms crossed, waiting for the verdict.

Haymitch inspect every garland, every ornament with the little girl squirming and protesting in his arms. When he’s done with his inspection and declares it safe, he puts her down and comes back to Effie. Katniss bolts toward her sister to show her everything and explain who made what and how.

Effie lifts an eyebrow at him, her arms still crossed, waiting to hears his opinion and his apologies. He rolls his eyes and puts an arm around her shoulders.

“ _Alright_ … _You were right, it’s nice… Happy?”_

“ _Perfectly!”_ she answers petulantly and he leans to kiss her tenderly.

“ _Uuuugh!_ _Gross…_ _”_ Katniss complains, hiding Prim’s eyes.

They laugh and go back upstairs, leaving the girls to their stories, to make some hot chocolate and snacks.

He takes her in his arms from behind as she’s stirring the chocolate in the pot.

“ _I’m sorry. You were right, they’re happy. And it’s harmless...”_ she turns the stove off and turns in his arms.

“ _See, Christmas isn’t bad.”_ she plants a quick kiss on his lips. “ _How old were you?”_ she asks softly.

“ _Eighteen.”_

“ _And did anything happen before that?”_ he shakes his head. “ _And did anything happen since?”_ No, again. “ _S_ _o you see, Christmas isn’t synonym of impending doom… If you have to sue someone, sue the company that made the ornament, not Santa. And don’t condemn yourself_ _…_ _”_ she rubs his arms soothingly.

He chuckles at her joke but takes his time to consider her words. He nods slightly.

“ _I won’t ever_ _be_ _all merry and all that shit, but…”_

“ _I_ _’m not asking you to forget._ _I don’t want to replace your family, never! I just want you to be happy, to realize that they would want you to be happy, not to punish yourself all your life..._ _It wasn’t your fault…_ _”_ she clarifies before he could misinterpret her intentions.

He tenses a little at the mention of his family, but he doesn’t argue. He simply kisses her deeply before calling the girls.

That night in his bed, a question comes to Effie’s mind.

“ _Did you have Christmas traditions? Something you would like to do with the girls?”_

He sighs and thinks, tightening his hold on her waist. After a minute, she believes he’s not going to answer, but he does.

“ _Apart from the usual stuff - the sock, the cookies and everything-, my mother_ _had_ _us burn a big log in the fireplace at midnight._ _The biggest one we could find in the woods._ _And all the while it burnt, she told_ _us_ _a story. Like_ _a_ _tale, a legend…_ _I don’t know how she managed to find a new one every year…”_ he said thoughtfully. _“_ _And she would offer us a bag of tangerines and chocolate_ _s candies_ _a few days before Christmas to make us wait. We weren’t rich so it was our only occasion…”._

Effie turns to kiss his chest. “ _These are beautiful traditions.”_ she says caressing his chest.

“ _Hmm…_ _Did you have any?”_ She shakes her head no. They didn’t have traditions, except the yearly Christmas argument between her parents around the turkey… Or maybe the hassle of each children playing a piece with their instrument in front of the whole family, if it can be considered a tradition… _God_ she hated that!

She turns again to show her back at him and he spoons her tight.

She can’t help a bitter little laugh to escape her lips when she thinks about how different their perception of Christmas are.

“ _I can’t remember one ‘merry’ Christmas in my life, they all have been complete disasters._ _It was never about family, love or anything. Only_ _one more_ _worldliness._ _And yet… I still love Christmas. When you…”_ she stops because she feels his fingers twitch against her skin. “ _Ironic isn’t it…”_

He doesn’t talk for a while, she even wonders if he’s asleep. But his breath against her neck is irregular.

“ _You still have hope. I don’t…”_ he whispers in her hair, burying his face in her nape.

She turns in his arms to face him and plant a tender kiss on his nose.

“ _Good thing I have some to spare then…”_ she says, burrowing her face under his chin, melting in the warmth of his chest.

He sighs fondly and holds her close.

It’s an encouraging enough for her to fall in a deep relaxed slumber.

xxx

A week later, they are cuddling sleepily in Effie’s bed when Haymitch’s phone rings. He grumbles but doesn’t move.

“ _Take it.”_ she moans in his skin.

“ _Hm_ _p_ _f...”_

“ _Could be the girls...”_

He sighs but does turn to get it on the floor. Time for him to find it, it was too late the call had ended. But it rings again not three seconds later.

“ _Hello?”_

Effie sees him tense immediately at the answer and she overhears a shrill voice speaking hastily.

“ _Okay I’m coming, I’m coming sweet_ _heart_ _, calm down.”_ he says, jumping on his feet and taking his clothes on the floor.

“ _What’s going on?”_ she asks, standing too.

“ _It was Katniss… Sae fell in the house, she’s unconscious...”_ He is shaking so much he struggles to close his pants. She goes to help him, and takes her own clothes.

“ _I’m coming with you.”_

He simply nods. She has never seen him so afraid.

They jump in her car and she drives to the _Village,_ well above the speed limit. She parks anyhow in front of the house, and they bolt out of the car.

She puts her hand on the fence and turns to see him frozen behind her.

“ _Come on Haymitch… I can’t do it alone...”_

He is at the edge of hyperventilating, his hands are shaking and his jaw is clenched. She puts a hand on his arms, and helps him to calm his breathing.

“ _Sae and the girls needs you, Haymitch…”_

He closes his eyes for a second, takes a deep breath, shoves her aside and runs to the door.

When she enters a few seconds after him, she hears the girls crying and Haymitch calming them. She follows the noise and enters in a big living room. The carpet is creased, there is a mug broken on the floor with the coffee spilled on the floor, and Sae lying on the floor next to the coffee table. She must have hit her head because there is blood in her grey hair and on the carpet.

She gasps at the sight and Katniss turns to look at her. Her face is wet with tears and she clutches Prim against her chest.

“ _She’s still breathing.”_ he breathes, relieved but not free of concern.

“ _Do you want me to call 911?”_

He shakes his head. “ _Katniss already did, they’re on their way. Get me a wet cloth._ _And take the girls away.”_

She nods and takes Katniss’s hand to guide her in another room. She crosses the hallway and enter in what happens to be the kitchen. She finds a clean cloth in a cupboard, put it under the tap and brings it to Haymitch. He holds it under Sae’s head to stop the bleeding of her injury. His eyes are shiny and he barely manages to croak a ‘ _T_ _hank_ _s_ _’._

She goes back to the girls in the kitchen, they need her more than he does. She takes a wailing Prim in her arms and rocks her close to her chest. Katniss is silent, she keeps her eye on the table and silent tears roll on her cheeks.

“ _Is she going to die?”_ she whispers after a while.

“ _No! No of course not darling!”_ she squeezes her trembling hand on the table. “ _You did the best you could do. She’s going to be fine.”_

Katniss sniffs loudly.

“ _It’s my fault… I asked her to go get the cake. I had move_ _d_ _the armchair and creased the carpet…and she tripped…”_ she says in a little teary voice, her lips wobbling again.

She’s so much like Haymitch, always taking the blame for things she cannot control… She thinks she has to bear the weight of the world on her small shoulders.

“ _Katniss, it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. You didn’t do it on purpose. It was only bad luck, that’s all.”_

They’re stopped in their conversation by sirens coming closer.

The doctor that examines Sae reassures them that it’s not too bad, but they take her to the hospital to run some tests.

Haymitch goes with her in the ambulance and Effie stays behind with the girls. They need to gather their things before she can take them back at Haymitch’s place.

They wait for hours in Haymitch’s living room. After making them a quick lunch, she tells the girls to go in their room, that she will call the hospital and tell them if there is something to know.

Once alone, she thinks about the house. She might have told Katniss it wasn’t her fault -and it truly wasn’t – but she couldn’t help noticing the furniture weren’t in prime shape. If it had not happened now, it would have eventually. The carpets were frayed and slippery on the wooden floor, the chairs were creaking, the kitchen appliances were old -certainly old cheap things that the town had put there after the reconstruction. It was old, dangerous, and not adapted for an old lady living there alone.

She can’t really blame Haymitch but maybe if he had seen the state of the house he would have done something.

Otherwise, it had everything to be a beautiful house. The volumes were perfectly studied, the porch was charming, there were enough bedrooms and bathroom for a big family, there even was a study with a view on the garden and the woods. She understood immediately why he had bought it, it was the picture of the family house. He must have imagined living there with his mother and his girl, maybe even adding some children to the scenery, at the time.

She could even imagine him and the girls living there happily now.

Adding herself in the picture was a fantasy but she did, for a second.

She finally gathers all her courage and calls the hospital. They don’t have much more to say than what she already knows. A concussion - they’re running tests to know more about it - and also a dislocated hip. They can’t say if she’s going to be alright before the results of the tests.

She thinks about calling Haymitch too, but she doesn’t want to disturb him in case he’s talking with the doctors. Instead she goes to tell Katniss the news, and reads a story to Prim until she falls asleep. She falls asleep in the couch herself around four in the afternoon.

She wakes up when Haymitch comes back. He seems quite calm so the news must not be too bad.

“ _So? How is she?”_ she asks, hauling herself in a sitting position.

He comes to sit beside her, taking his head in his hands.

“ _She’s awake. They didn’t see anything bad on the tests so, after her hip surgery she should be good to go...”_ he says with a sad face and a gloomy tone. She can feel that it’s not all…

“ _But?”_

“ _But they don’t think she should stay alone in a big house like that_ _. She won’t be able to walk as well_ _… They showed me some_ _leaflets_ _about medicalized residences and stuff like that… She would have her own house,_ _furnished and adapted and she_ _would have doctors and nurses_ _close…”_

“ _She’s okay, that’s the most important.”_ she comforts him. She imagines how hard it must be for him to see Sae age, how afraid he must have been to find her dead this morning. She’s like his second mother…

“ _Yeah_ … _Thank you for today.”_ he says, taking her hand and holding tight. She presses a kiss on his temple.

“ _You’re welcome.”_ She stand up and takes her coat.

“ _You’re leaving?”_ he frowns, standing up to approach her.

“ _I ha_ _ve_ _commands for tomorrow. I’ll have to_ _work_ _tonight. You should sleep, you need it.”_ It’s true, he is pale, his eyes red and circled by puffy dark circles. “ _I put some leftovers in the fridge.”_

He nods and takes her in his arms to kiss her one last time. “ _Thanks.”_

She leaves the diner, relieved to feel the slap of the cold air of winter nights on her face. She uses the walk to the shop to think about that day and how intense her life has become since she moved here. Not really the boring country life she had been seeking…

xxx

She comes back the next night, after he closed the diner. He has been to see Sae in the afternoon and she wants to know how it went. The girls are asleep and he is sprawled in his couch.

The news are as good as they can be given the circumstances.

“ _She’s going in surgery next week and she’ll have to stay there for at least a month. Time for the prosthetic to be accepted and the re-education to begin...”_

“ _That’s good Haymitch, this is the best scenario.”_ she says, handing him a mug of black tea.

“ _Yeah, yeah I know…_ _I just don’t like the idea of putting her in a nursing home…”_ he grumbles in his mug.

“ _It’s not like that. They have their own independence, it’s just secured and arranged for elder people. It’s like Florida but cheaper.”_ he scoffs at her joke, that’s already progress, but keeps his eyes on the floor. “ _What are you going to do with the house?”_ she asks warily. It’s not an easy subject and she knows he’s still shaken from getting inside for the first time in eighteen years.

“ _Don’t know… Didn’t even think about that yet...”_ he frowns.

“ _You_ … _Maybe you could use it?”_ he tenses but doesn’t scream yet. “ _It would be a shame to let it down to decay...”_

“ _And what? Why are you so eager to get Sae out of the way huh?”_ he snarls, raising his voice a little too much considering the girls sleeping upstairs.

“ _Wha… what?!”_ she stammers. What the hell is going wrong with him?

“ _You want it for yourself, that’_ _s_ _it? Living in town’s not posh enough? You want to upgrade to the fashionable districts?”_

She is too flabbergasted to cut him in or to defend herself. She lost her voice, blocked by the lump forming in her throat. She just stay there, eyes wide open and shoulders hunched, taking the blows.

“ _That’s unfair...”_ is the only think she manages to croak but it’s barely a whisper and she doubts he heard it. Not that he would care. He’s gone, lost to his storming rage.

“ _You begin to miss the good life? Your gold digger side reemerges? Well sorry Princess if we’re not good enough for you, but you won’t get the dog and the white fences with me.”_ he snarls the moniker like the worst of the insults again. “ _If that’s what it’s all about then you can go fuck yourself and never come back. I don’t need an_ _opportunist_ _bitch_ _near_ _my_ _girls_ _.”_

It’s the vulgarity and the insults that make her come back to her senses. Bitter tears are rolling down her face but at least she finds her voice back.

“ _Is that really what you think of me? After everything I said and did? That’s…”_ she doesn’t have to justify herself, she doesn’t even want to, he doesn’t deserve it. But she wants him to know what she truly meant anyway, to realize how stupid he is, how much he overreacts to everything, how he twists peoples words to match and justify his own fears. “ _I was only thinking of you. I didn’t wanted you to loose the last thing you had left of your family, I did not want it to die too._ _For you!_ _”_

She takes a deep breath to collect herself before leaving the apartment.

“ _And I was… Stupidly maybe, I was thinking of us. But clearly I was mistaken, there is no ‘us’. Never h_ _as_ _been any...”_ saying that, she takes her coat and marches to the door, not giving him time to answer.

Just as she passes it, she throws the silver key on the dresser right next to it.

xxx

Two days later, she is still mulling his words over. How could she have been so stupid as to think he might… have _feelings_ for her? That she might have a chance to happiness? To a family?…

He never wanted anything more than a convenient woman -well, a _bitch -_ in his bed after all. Like all men. She should have known. She had sworn herself she wouldn’t be blind and naive again…

She’s lost in her thought, scribbling some Santa shaped cookie -which rather looks half Santa half Haymitch shaped demon-, on her recipes notebook, when the shop’s door open on Hazelle, holding Prim bundled up in a thick blue puffy jacket.

Hazelle gives her a sad smile as Prim jumps from her arms to wrap herself around Effie’s legs.

She crouches to take the little girl in her arms and take her jacket off before she combusts. Prim refuses to let her go and wraps herself even tighter around her neck when she tries to get back on her feet. She throws a questioning look to Hazelle.

“ _She’s been asking for you. Well, wailing for you…”_ she winces, twisting her hands in hesitation. Effie already knows what she’s going to ask her. “ _She said… she said you didn’t love them anymore and you wouldn’t come back…”_

She can hears that Hazelle’s concern isn’t her lack of love for the girls, but rather the reason for Prim’s words.

“ _We_ … _fought... I think that everything has been said,_ _this time_ _.”_

She is saved from the toddler claws by the appearance of Lady somewhere in the kitchen. She waits for Prim to be out of earshot to sit with Hazelle at a table and continue her explanation.

“ _I admit that it’s partly my fault if we fought, I brought up a sensitive subject._ _B_ _ut words have been spoken and… He made it very clear he didn’t want to_ _have_ _anything_ _to see_ _with… someone like me so…”_

“ _Effie_ … _”_ Hazelle sighs, tears in her eyes, as she puts a hand on Effie’s arm to comfort her. “ _I’m sure that’s not…”_

“ _I shouldn’t have hoped so much, it was stupid of me.”_ she says with a wave of her hand. “ _I understand why you came, that’s not a reproach, but… I’m not sure this is healthy for the girls to come back here. A clean cut might be better. Not like if I had visiting rights or anything…”_

“ _If that’s what you want, yes._ _Okay._ _I_ _t might be better.”_ Hazelle nods, clearly to humor her. “ _But it will be hard don’t you think? You’re bound to meet them again, the town isn’t that big…”_

She hadn’t thought about it to be honest. She might have thought about never living her apartment and her kitchen ever again though… But Hazelle’s right, it won’t be possible to avoid them for ever…

“ _You’re right. I’ll go to Coin to ask about selling the business. I can’t keep living here much longer.”_

“ _What? No! That’s not what I…”_

“ _That’s what’s best for everybody.”_ she cuts her, a little harshly but she’s tired and annoyed. “ _You’ll excuse me I have cupcakes in the oven.”_ She stands and walk to the kitchen. She takes Prim in her arms and kisses her soundly on the cheek before giving her to Hazelle and disappearing in the kitchen to hide her tears.

She waits until Portia comes back from her lunch break to take hers, and uses it to go to the real estate agency. It’s only to gather information for now, she’ll talk to Portia about it later.

It’s Coin who welcomes her when she enters the sad grey building. And the inside is just as sad and grey, with metallic tables and chairs, un-decorated painted walls and dirty white tiles on the floor. The absolute opposite of Snow’s colorful and tinsel pawnshop. How did those two ever end up together? They were polar opposites…

“ _Ah, Miss Trinket! What can I do for you?”_ her voice and her tone are soft and honeyed but her piercing eyes and her smug smile convey her satisfaction at seeing Effie in her agency. She’s patting her own shoulder saying to herself ‘ _T_ _old you so!’._

“ _I would like to… inquire about the real estate prices, at this point.”_ being here now feels weird. She feels like she might have been too hasty. But now it’s too late. In for a penny…

“ _Leaving us so soon?”_ Coin asks, without sounding as judgmental as her right eyebrow look, up to her white hairline, sitting at her desk and showing her the chair on the other side.

“ _Well_ … _I don’t know, I just want information for now. Maybe selling isn’t the only option…”_

“ _No indeed, it isn’t”_ she hums, tapping something on her computer before tuning the monitor toward Effie. “ _As you can see, selling isn’t the best idea right now. I’d advise you to wait at least three month too see how the prices go.”_

The tables and graphs on the screen aren’t very clear, but they are very much red and Effie can still understand that selling would be at a big loss for her. And for Portia. Losing her money because of her own problems is one thing, making Portia drown with her is another.

“ _What are the other options then?”_

She turns back her monitor to her and search for something before answering.

“ _Well, you can rent. You would loose the business part but you could still save on the living one, by renting it to a particular. Even earn some money out of it at some point. Not any_ _time_ _soon, though.”_ she opens another page with some more graphics and dynamic numbers. “ _Or, and it’s currently your best option to me, you could sell directly your part to someone else, someone who would be ready to live and work in the_ _re, like you’re doing now._ _You wouldn’t win money but you wouldn’t lose as much as by selling it on the market_ _.”_

“ _Ok, good… I’ll think about it then.”_ Effie says with a polite smile. She won’t admit being intimidated by this strict grey woman, even if that’s slightly true.

However, she might have an idea for this last option, and she needs to talk about it to Portia first.

“ _You’re not... in any hurry, I hope?”_ Coin asks, with a real frown on her face this time. Of course… that’s what people are going to think…

Coin might not might not like her much, but she clearly isn’t the kind of woman to tolerate domestic abuse or anything like that.

“ _Oh no! No, no! I was just inquiring that’s all.”_ she hurries to reassure her. She doesn’t mind the rumor of her leaving spreading in town but she doesn’t want gossips to morph into something so vile. Coin doesn’t seem convinced but doesn’t comment any further. Makeup can’t hide everything unfortunately and her eyes must have given her distress away. “ _Thank you for your time!”_

She stands up and outstretched a hand. Coin shakes it strongly, holding it a little longer than property asks for.

“ _You’re welcome. I’m here if you need anything Miss Trinket.”_ she reminds her with an insistent look.

Once out of the agency, she hesitates between going to Portia right now and going to visit Sae in the hospital. In the end, she chooses the latter. It’s still lunch time and she can see that the diner’s lights are on. It’s the best moment if she want to avoid meeting him there.

She enters her hospital room hesitantly, not certain that the old woman would like to see her. But the very moment Sae spots her in the door frame, her face lit with a smile and she beckons her to come sit in the visitor’s armchair.

“ _Oh, my dear. I’m so happy to see you!”_ she exclaims, taking her hand in hers and squeezing it tight. She seems relieved to see her. Haymitch must have talked to her. Maybe she had been hoping a visit to talk about it.

“ _How are you Sae? How are you feeling?”_

“ _Oh much better!”_ she waves negligently to the bandage on her head. “ _That’s nothing! Just a bruise!”_ then to her leg, “ _and that soon will be just_ _as good as_ _new! Don’t worry about me, I have thick skin!”_ she winks at her and Effie cannot help smiling at her. She is extraordinarily strong for her age.

But she can easily see that she knows about the fight. What does she know now is another problem…

Her silence gives her away because Sae’s look goes from fond to worried.

“ _I’m so glad you’re feeling better. You gave us such a fright!”_ she manages to bring a bright smile on her face, summoning all the remnants of her good education, but Sae doesn’t look at her smile. She looks at her eyes. And they aren’t on the same wave length…

“ _Don’t worry about me dear, I’m an old cow. Don’t tell me that’s me who puts you in such a state…”_ she tells her, squeezing her hand again.

Effie can’t resist her kind gaze, she looks at her like a parent would. She understands why she’s the grand mother of the town. It dives right into her soul.

And she can’t resist it.

“ _No_ … _”_ she laughs nervously. “ _I… I think… I’m going to leave town. This time_ _we pulled the last straw I fear…”_ tears are pooling in her eyes.

“ _Effie_ … _._ _You cannot do that. I’m sure there must be a way. It was just one fight…”_

“ _One fight is all it takes.”_ she cuts jumping on her feet to go stand at the window. She doesn’t want to show her tears. “ _He’s been very clear anyway. He knows how to use his words…”_

“ _He didn’t mean any of it I’m sure. He cares about you. More than you can imagine… I never saw him like that…”_

“ _Yeah well… I had never seen him like that either…”_ she mutters to herself. “ _Listen Sae… He crossed a line…”_ she turns toward her again. “ _I know what you’re going to tell me, that he’s afraid, that he pushes people away, that I should resist to prove him wrong but… I’m not sure I want to buy this anymore. It might be true but he crossed a line this time. It was too much…_ _Too much anger, too much hate._ _For me, for himself…_ _”_ she stops for a moment, and then adds in a lower wistful voice “ _I was the one afraid back there…_ _I still am._ _”_ _._

She wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone else. She wonders what is this aura around Sae that compels people to trust and confide to her like that. That’s truly a super power.

“ _He would never hurt you like that my dove. He would never hurt someone he loves by his_ _own_ _hand._ _Never._ _”_ the old woman outstretches her arm to take her hand again and forces Effie to look at her. “ _He is so afraid to get crush_ _ed_ _that he does it himself. At least_ _like that_ _he isn’t_ _taken aback_ _…_ _If you could just see him, you would know…_ _”_

“ _A bad time to talk about love, don’t you think?…”_ Effie snorts. “ _He knew what to do, what to say. He did it all. Looking right into my eyes, head up and straight. He meant everything, at least he believed in everything… I’m sorry Sae, I can’t let that go so easily…_ _I have been comprehensive a thousand times already. But I can’t keep taking all the blows. This isn’t a one way road._ _”_

She takes the old woman’s hand warmly before taking her coat and heading toward the door. She stops at the foot of the bed.

“ _I hope you’ll get better very soon. I’ll come back, if you want me to. I won’t fly away overnight.”_

“ _I’d love to see you again dear.”_ It doesn’t quite mean the same thing in her mouth than what she did, but it’s good enough for her. Effie puts a hand on her ankle with a smile and leaves the room. Her thoughts full of new things to occupy her insomnia.

xxx

Late that night, she decides to go to Portia. She deserves to know. She will be the first one impacted if she leaves the town and they must talk about it, as unpleasant a conversation it might be.

Portia invites her in and she falls in one of her bean bags, sprawled in the most unladylike manner. Portia doesn’t need much more than that to understand she need white wine and chocolate. She brings a tray on the coffee table and sits facing Effie, waiting for the bad news.

“ _I think I am going to move.”_ No need to beat around the bush…

“ _What?”_ she wasn’t expecting that according to her wide brown eyes. She was certainly expecting boys talk not _defeat_ talk.

“ _You don’t necessarily need to come with me. I don’t want you to leave Cinna for me. In fact I’ve thought about something...”_

“ _Effie…_ _Effie stop…”_ she tries to stop her. “ _What are you…”_

“ _No please. Listen to me.”_ if she stops now she’ll let herself be convinced to wait and she doesn’t want to. “ _I thought, that instead of selling everything, I could only sell my part of the investment._ _And_ _my first thought was for Cinna. He could have his business with you, and we wouldn’t lose_ _too much_ _money like that.”_

“ _Effie…_ _You thought way too much about this…”_

“ _That would be if you want, that is. If you prefer something else, if it’s too soon…”_ she soldiers on, ignoring her friend and avoiding her eyes.

“ _Effie, is it really that bad?”_ her eyebrows are gathered in one thin preoccupied line.

She sighs. She won’t get away with it. She knew it. Curiously, she has more and more difficulties to talk to Portia. Maybe because of the dichotomy between her ‘ _love story’_ and Portia’s. She wouldn’t call it jealousy or envy but… Why is it so easy for her?

“ _He still sees me_ _as_ _a spoiled brat, a princess, a whore… That will never change. Despite all his pretty words and promises, it will always come back right into my face.”_ she lets it all out. “ _He doesn’t trust me. And… I can’t say I really trust him either anymore. I wanted to but…”_ she stops, hesitating about what she’s going to say. It may sound too strong but that how she felt and still feels somehow. “ _I was scared. I still am in a way… I’ve been the naive idiot again, I’d thought we had a shot. I had hoped I could have something, a family… But I was wrong. I was, once more, simply convenient. The convenient bitch._ _I am definitely not the girl you want to marry…_ _or raise children with…_ _”_ she snorts.

When she lift her eyes from her twirling glass, she find Portia’s teary gaze on her, but it’s darkened by something else. Anger? Disgust?

“ _I could kill him if you asked me to._ _Y_ _ou know_ _that_ _?”_ she breathes. Effie is tempted to believe her. After all the things she has done, it wouldn’t be that surprising. She laughs bitterly.

“ _Can you consider my proposition? It won’t happen right now but think about it. Please.”_ she asks her one last time, gulps her glass and goes back to her room.

Now everybody knows. She’ll have to brace herself for an either thunderous or supplicant visit from Chaff - but she won’t cave this time, if someone needs to be talked to it’s Haymitch not her -, and for murderous gaze from everybody in town.

xxx

Two days.

Two days are all it takes for the rumor to come to Haymitch’s ears.

Two days later, late at night, as she is in the middle of her night routine, she is startled by a thunderous round of knocks on her door.

She jumps in fright, hesitates to go to open in her state, but still goes at least to take a look by the peephole.

She quickly opens the door after seeing Haymitch, completely wasted leaning heavily against her door.

He falls on her the moment the door is opened, reeking of whiskey and holding a half empty bottle of liquor, and begins crying -well, wailing -like a baby.

She tries to drag his heavy weight to her couch while he repeats over and over again the same slurred words. She catches a few, some ‘ _I’m sorry.’, ‘Everything’s my fault’,_ and something about being a _‘shit magnet_.’

It’s not easy because he is swaying on his unsteady legs but she finally throws him on the couch and runs to get him a basin when she sees him turn to green. Afterwards, she takes off his soiled shirt and pants with a heavy sigh and washes quickly his face with a wet towel before lying him on the cushions.

Now the only thing she can do is waiting for him to pass out. He is in no state to talk or to go back to his place. She texts Hazelle to make sure the girls are with her and goes to settle in the armchair with a blanket.

In his half slumber, he mutters incomprehensible things, but one is quite easily understandable and she catches it a few times during his drunk rant.

“ _I love you.”_ or rather “ _Fuck, I love you.”_ but she won’t nitpick.

She gets tired of his ramblings, and after hearing this infamous lie five times or so, she stands to take another blanket to put on him, hoping it will help him to sleep.

“ _No Haymitch. You don’t. You don’t know how to do that.”_ she whispers as she put the tartan on his shoulders.

Then she goes back in the armchair and spends half of her night watching him, making sure he isn’t to drown in his own vomit in his sleep.

When she wakes up, he’s still out. Dead to the world. He is pale as a dead but his breathing is regular and he seems calmer.

She leaves him painkillers, a bottle of water, a box of detox tea, and her secret banana-coconut water-muesli-honey hangover smoothie on the coffee table with a note before going down to work.

He only comes downstairs around five in the afternoon. He’s white a sheet, still unsteady on his feet, and with his eyes bloodshot, but at least he took a shower and waits for her to shoot first.

She stays silent for a while, happy to watch him swaying uncomfortably on his feet, leaning against the wall, while she draws new cake designs.

“ _Was that an upgraded version of ‘texting your ex’?”_

He doesn’t answer, only sighs loudly and shakily. Which is the best answer he could give actually.

“ _Hazelle called. She left the girls at your place an hour ago, she couldn’t keep them.”_ what means you shouldn’t stay much longer, you have responsibilities waiting for you. Speak now or…

“ _Did you tell her…?”_

“ _Oh yes!”_ she says coldly. “ _And Chaff too. When he called. As for your customers who came here I told them you were feeling unwell.”_ she doesn’t lift her eyes from her notebook all the time of this conversation, and so she doesn’t see him move until he crouches on the floor next to her chair, one hand on the desk, the other on the foot of the chair, and bows his head until his hair is practically brushing her leg.

“ _You’re right… I’m a fucking idiot…”_ he whispers, his voice shaking.

“ _I’m always right.”_ She replies still not looking at him, more petulantly than she truly means. It makes him chuckle.

“ _Yeah_ … _It appears so…”_ he breathes, so low she doesn’t think its directed at her. “ _Sweetheart_ … _we should talk about…”_

No. There is no ‘ _we should talk’, he_ should apologize and grovel. She didn’t do anything wrong. But if he wants her to speak, speak she will. And he won’t regret it.

“ _You’re sending mixed signals Haymitch. One day you give me a key to your place and the next you treat me merely like a friend. One day you entrust me with the girls, the other I have nothing to say about the way you raise them.”_ her voice is beginning to waver so she stops to take a deep breath but keep a hand up to tell him to shut up. “ _Everytime I try to… speak about serious subjects… You could just avoid it, but no… Everytime I try to be someone to you, for you… you just rip me apart and kick_ _the pieces_ _away…”_

She doesn’t even have the strength to be mad, to scream anymore. She’s just defeated. Flat and tired. And he isn’t faring much better, she can feel tears falling on her lap and sees his back rise up and down with his ragged breathing.

“ _And I wasn’t even thinking a single bit of what you accused me of. Your mind is so… wickedly twisted. I was only thinking of you, of how you were doing, managing the whole thing, and I just wanted to offer my help. But obviously you don’t want my help. You don’t want me.”_ she stops and snorts, thinking about their last argument. “ _Well no. You do_ want _me. But you do n_ _o_ _t want us.”_ Those words sting. So bad. Like knitting needles inside her heart. And inside his too she hopes. “ _It’s certainly my fault for assuming. I’m an easy believer…”_

She pauses for a few seconds. Waiting for something. What she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know if she wants him to cry, apologize, scream, leave….

“ _You uses who I was, who I am, to hurt me. You don’t accept me.”_

This time he hurriedly turns her chair towards him, spreads her red pants clad legs, drags his hands to her waist and holds her tight, burying his face in her stomach. He nuzzles her blouse for a while, searching for her skin behind the fabric, but he’s stopped by her tank top. She feels the fabric getting wet with his tears and her waist getting bruised by the strength of his grip.

Her hands are hovering in the air, above him or her desk. She is torn between petting his hair to calm him and slap him.

“ _That’s because it fucking scares me.”_ he finally mutters, his words muffled in her belly. “ _It fucking scares me that one day you’ll grow bored of us and go back to it again.”_

“ _I_ _think I said that enough times…”_ he dips his fingers even deeper in her skin, desperately. So she stops and lets him continue.

“ _I’m fucking afraid… It scares the shit out of me how much I like waking up with you in my bed, with you_ _r_ _warmth in my arms, your smell on my pillow,_ _you hair in my mouth_ _. How much I like having you nagging and bossing me around. How you make Katniss roll her eyes with your rebuking about language,_ _how Prim tries to dress_ _and talk_ _like you…_ _”_

He takes a break to find his words and she swallows back the tears pooling in her eyes. How can he say such beautiful things while being so infuriatingly vulgar?

“ _But what scared me to death yesterday… it was not smelling your perfume on my pillow, feeling the sheets cold on your side of the bed, not having to revive my dead arm after you got out of bed… And… not knowing if it would ever happen again…”_

“ _What am I to you Haymitch?… I don’t need a label or anything but… It would be nice to know_ _what I mean to you_ _…”_ she isn’t asking for love declarations now. But they never even talked about a name for what they were doing. She could as well be her partner as her friend with benefit slash convenient babysitter.

He chuckles and shakes his head against her stomach, nuzzling and tickling her a little.

“ _The fuck if I know… You… You’re bigger than anything I ever had. I don’t know what to do with you but… I don’t know how to be without you anymore. Fuck, sweetheart I… I …”_

“ _Must you be so vulgar?…”_ she asks in a shaky breath. They both laugh a little. Happy to be back on known ground.

“ _Don’t go, don’t leave me… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I strike to kill when I’m scared. I’m so sorry. Don’t… don’t sell, don’t leave. Don’t leave me. Us._ _I… I…”_

“ _You appreciate me, I got it.”_ she laughs to dismiss the visible tension in his shoulders. She doesn’t linger on his incapacity to use the word that would logically come after that ‘ _I’_. She try no to think about what it means for now. She had never hoped for such an apology, or for more, so she tries to be content with that.

“ _I’m a selfish old mule… I can’t lose you. I can’t… I couldn’t bear it.”_ he seems a little calmer now, but he is still hiding his face in her blouse, pressing her body against him with his hands on her back. “ _Not now that I know…”_

“ _Now that you know what?”_ She asks, biting her lip to hold the smile threatening to spread on her lips.She’s pushing him. He would never have talked that much without the ‘help’ of the hangover and the painkillers… So she decides to use that on her favor to tease him a little.

“ _What it’s like to… To… To have…”_ he finally lifts his head up to look at her face after she let out a small giggle. She couldn’t help finding him cute in his struggle. “ _You’re laughing at me…”_ he doesn’t laugh, he frowns and looks rejected.

“ _I would never dare.”_ she teases, trying to keep her smile under control and holding his head up in her hands. “ _Haymitch_ … _You hurt me.”_ he tries to retreat but she keeps him there. “ _It wasn’t only you pushing me away. It was you not trusting me, not knowing me, not wanting me in your life…”_

“ _I told you, I didn’t mean anything of it. I was scared, I got mad… I don’t know what happened to me.”_ he sighs. “ _I regretted it instantly, the moment you threw the key, I_ _lost it_ _and broke almost every plate and glass in the house. I hated myself for it…_ _For driving_ _you, like_ _every good thing I get, away…”_ he is stroking her back like she’s stroking his nape with her nails, in a gesture she knows soothing for him. “ _Katniss heard us… she hates me now. And Prim too since she came here. She said I made you sad, and only bad people made good people sad…”_ he bows his head again, to plant a kiss between her breast. She shivers at the sensation of the kiss and of his face wet with tears. “ _I know I’m not good person. But… I swear… if you give me one last chance… I’ll never make you sad again,_ _or m_ _ake you cry…_ _I’ll try… I’ll do everything…”_

“ _Haymitch…_ _”_ his face isn’t only wet with tears, also with sweat…

“ _Fuck, I’ll treat you like a princess if that’s what it takes, but I can’t lose you…”_

“ _Haymitch!”_ she takes his face firmly again. He is working himself up and she realizes that he’s not only hot from emotion, he is slightly feverish. Certainly from his relapse of last night. Only last night she hopes… “ _Calm down. Shh…”_ she holds his head in her chest to calm him. He’s shaking, troubled, exhausted, he is not completely himself. “ _Calm down. Come on… You need to sleep.”_ he nods and stands when she pulls on his hands.

She takes him back to bed, with a cold wet cloth on his forehead and heavy blankets, and waits until he’s sleeping again.

Then she gets down and calls Chaff to ask him to go get the girls and bring them back here. He’s the only person aside of Hazelle she knows who has a spare key of the diner.

Waiting for him, she thinks about what had just happened. And about the fact that Haymitch would never have told her all that without the fever and the exhaustion. She shouldn’t be happy about that but she is, a little…

When Chaff arrives, she takes him to see Haymitch. He’ll know what to do better than she does.

In the meantime, she goes to take care of the girls. Prim jumps in her arms and Katniss stays warily in front of the counter, worried.

“ _Is Haymitch okay?_ _Uncle Chaff said he was sick...”_ she asks, tears in her eyes.

“ _Do not worry darling, he’s not badly sick. In a day he will be perfectly fine.”_ she answers, caressing her black braid and dragging her to a table. She sets Prim on the chair next to her sister and goes to make them something to eat.

She comes back with a tray full of cookies, strawberry cupcakes and orange juice and sits with the girls at the table. Prim refuses to stay on her chair and won’t remain calm unless Effie takes her on her lap. Only then she stops fidgeting and clings to her neck, her eyes full of tears.

Katniss’s face is still twisted by a scowl. She tries to keep her tears and her fear under control. Like a big sister ought to do.

“ _I told him I hated him… It’s not true… What if he dies thinking I hate him?”_ her lips are wobbling.

“ _He’s not going to die Katniss._ _And he knows you don’t hate him._ _He’ll be fine. In a few hours you’ll see him and tell him yourself okay?”_ she puts her hands on Prim’s ears, not wanting the toddler to be even more distressed.

“ _Is he abandoning us too? Is he going to scream on us and throw us away too?…”_ she asks, her eyes in the empty space above her glass. “ _He didn’t come yesterday or this morning… He doesn’t love us anymore either… Could we come to live with you?”_ she lifts her shining eyes to Effie, begging her.

She must have been more traumatized by their fight than Effie had thought. She is truly scared. And she can’t blame her, she’s been left alone once, why not once again…

“ _Katniss,”_ she says, holding the girl's arms firmly. “ _Haymitch loves you, he won’t leave you, ever. Do you hear me?”_

She nods.

“ _But he loved you too. And yet… He…”_

“ _It’s different darling. This a grown people problems… He does not like me like he loves you. He won’t ever scream at you or leave you, I promise…”_ she gathers her against her chest and group hugs the girls comfortingly. As much for them as for herself. She had missed them so much it scares her a little. 

C haff chooses that moment to come back down. He gives her a reassuring look. 

“ _He needs to sleep a little more, but it should go away by itself. I gave him his meds, he should be okay.”_ he whispers, not to disturb the girls. 

“ _Okay, good. Will he…”_ she doesn’t know how to say it but the move of her head is enough. 

“ _He won’t relapse. It was a one time thing.”_

“ _Good.”_ she takes the girls off her and guides them to Portia study, they’ll have armchairs and book there to occupy their time and their minds. She leaves the door slightly ajar and come back to Chaff. 

“ _Are you… okay?”_ he asks carefully. 

“ _I_ … _I guess things are getting better.”_ she can’t really say now. She’ll see when he’s awake and aware. 

“ _So, you’re not leaving then?”_

“ _Not any time soon no. I wouldn’t have disappeared in a puff of smoke anyway. I only considered the possibility and asked information to Coin, and people made a big deal of it.”_ she laughs. It might have been an unconscious scheme of her brain after all. And it had worked… 

“ _Yeah_ …” he smiles and puts a hand on her shoulder. “ _You may not see it for now but, you’re good for him. He… really cares about you…”_ he blushes at this words. Feelings are really not an easy subject with men… 

Then he gets out the shop, leaving her with this assertion.

What does that mean ‘ _cares about her’?_ Does he like her, does love her? She cares about her sister, she cares about the girls, she cares about Sae, but it has nothing to see with the way she ‘ _cares about’_ him.

She has a thing for falling for people who don’t care about her as much as she  cares for them , why not one more time?… 

xxx

A few days later, Haymitch is back on his two feet,  completely healed from his ‘ _mistake_ ’.  They haven’t really talked since that fateful day. 

O n this morning, she woke up a little earlier to have time to talk with him at the diner.  Now she’s there, she takes a deep breath and enters. He isn’t in the room, or behind the counter.  So she goes to see if he’s in the kitchen. 

He is in the kitchen, washing some plates, his back at her. She watches him from the threshold for a while, until he turns around and spots her.  He gives her a small hesitant smile. 

“ _Hello, sweetheart.”_

“ _How are you Haymitch?”_ she asks entering the kitchen to get out of sight of the other customers. She keeps her arms crossed in front of her chest in a semi-conscious defensive stance. She is still a little afraid of his reactions, she remains wary and chooses her words. Careful of not triggering a new outburst of anger. 

“ _Good. Better…”_ he answers. He is hesitating between coming to her or staying away. Still unsure of what’s going on between them. “ _How are we?”_

“ _I don’t know… I don’t know.”_ she locks her eyes in his to read his every emotions. “ _What do you want?”_

“ _You. I want you... However you want it. I’ll do anything…”_ he answers without missing a beat, fear in his eyes. 

She nods and takes a few seconds to think her answer.

“ _Maybe_ … _Maybe we could, not start over but… Try again? Repair these lasts days?”_ he closes his eyes and sighs in relief. “ _I don’t want to loose you, the three of you, but… Haymitch, this is the last time. This will be the last chance I give you…”_

“ _Yes. Yes…”_ He walks to her and take her in his arms. She gives him back his embrace, but not as intensely as she would have a week ago, and he senses it. “ _I can’t tell you how much I regret… I swear, I’ll make it up to you.”_ he kisses her head, buries his nose in her hair and breathes her in. She holds him tight, relieved to have him back, but still not certain of knowing the man she has in her arms. 

He retreats after a minute or two and takes her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. His gaze is loaded, with sadness, fear, relief,  lust and the love he cannot express.  Curiously she can easily read it in his eyes,  when it’s the hardest thing to tear out of his lips .  It’s the same look he has when he looks at the girls, that certitude  associated with tenderness .

I t eases her fear a little. 

But that doesn’t erase her fear of the man aside of the lover.  She doesn’t doubt of his affection, but she still fears his character. 

O ver the next days, they go back into their easy routine. The banter, the sex, the ‘ _family_ ’ nights with the girls… 

Everything goes well, he is more careful and open to her. She manages to install a form of dialogue. It often ends up in sex, angry, relieved, or else.  But at least it works,  that’s what’s counts. And she can’ t complain about it… 

He is doing everything he can to keep her, he makes as much effort as possible. More than she had hoped for.  She feels safe again, now that he’s working on trusting her and talking to her, instead of hiding behind his walls and break them with shouts  when she comes too close . 

The last problem is herself. She can’t go back to her old self.  Or rather she’s  gone back t o o  far, to  her very old self. That  teenager she was in the city,  she had ran away from.  T hat young obedient girl who did everything she was told to, who  accepted everything to please,  the personality-less perfect drone… 

H e feels it, she knows. He keeps asking her if she’s okay, if she’s afraid of him. Of course he puts it on himself.  It is somehow his fault  in a way , but it’s also hers.  She should fight it but she can’t. She’s too afraid to annoy him and provoke a fight.  She rarely makes the first moves,  or pushes him to do things like she would have before. 

And she is also careful of not giving herself too much hope.  All his intense looks, and beautiful promises are still not enough for her to believe she’s not just a pretty body. Her brain needs  more to believe, it needs ‘ _the words’_ she has no hope of hearing _._

She is like a  shy ghost of herself.  A self-conscious and over careful ghost. 

Haymitch doesn’t like that, but he doesn’t say anything. She only catches his scrutinizing gaze sometimes, when he thinks she can’t see him.

One night, they are cuddling on his couch, watching the TV after putting the girls to bed.

“ _What do you want to do for Christmas?”_ he asks, caressing her arm softly.

“ _It’s time to ask, we’re the eighteenth...”_ she teases him, “ _I don’t know… As long as we’re together…”_ he sighs, a little annoyed by her answer. He was certainly expecting her to drag him into shopping sprees, but she doesn’t want to spoil the peace they had found. 

“ _Of course we’ll be together.”_ he states, pressing a long kiss in her hair. They stay silent for a while, until he clears his throat. “ _I… We won’t be there on Saturday. We need to go in town, Katniss needs to see a dentist…”._

“ _Oh! Do you need me to come with…”_

“ _No!”_ he cuts her abruptly. She recoils slightly, but he tightens his hold on her. “ _No. You stay here. I’ll use the trip to…”_ he blushes a little. 

“ _Oh_ …” she understands. She can’t resist teasing him a little. “ _Christmas is in a week and you still haven’t bought me a present…?”_

“ _Shut up…”_ he replies but he’s laughing too and drags her into a heated kiss. Kiss that they quickly have to relocate to the bedroom… 

x xx

On that Saturday night, she receives a call from Haymitch’s apartment.  She answers, expecting to hear him, but it’s the excited voice of Prim who welcomes her on the phone.  It’s quite late, she should be in bed already. 

“ _Effie! You must come now!”_ she demands her in the authoritarian tone she often uses on her dolls during tea parties. 

“ _Hum, okay, why?”_ she laughs, intrigued by the emergency in the girls voice. 

“ _You’ll see! Come!”_ she hears Haymitch rebuking her between two laughs for her rudeness, but she doesn't have time to ask for him. Prim hangs up on her nose. 

S he can’t resist anything Prim asks her, and she is too intrigued to lose a minute. She jumps in her boots and coat, not caring about her very casual outfit or her lack of makeup, and drives straight to the diner. 

She rings the doorbell and waits for Haymitch to come open the door. She still haven’t got her key back.  She hears his heavy footsteps in the stairs and the girls laughs upstairs. 

When he opens the door, he pulls her inside and positions himself behind her. She doesn’t even have time to frown that he already has his hands on her eyes and is urging her in the stairs.

“ _Haymitch what’s going on?”_ she laughs, holding tight on the railings. 

“ _You’ll see, keep going!”_ It’s the first time in a while that she hears that childish excitation in his voice. It’s a little veiled by anguish but the excitement wins over it. She can picture his boyish half-smirk half-smile and the tinkle in his eyes. His excitement gets to her and she quickens her pace.

“ _Careful, last step!”_ he warns her. 

She stops on the threshold of the door and follows his push. One step, two, three… She must be in the middle of the living room, facing the old unused fireplace. She can hear the girls giggling and shushing each other somewhere on her right.

“ _Merry Christmas Princess!”_ he says dragging his hands from her eyes to her shoulders. 

She opens her eyes on the unrecognizable living room. The couch is covered by a red knitted blanket with white jacquard patterns, the windows are circled by branches and red garlands, but the most striking thing is the tree in front of the fireplace. It’s a plastic tree, beautifully decorated with red, white and golden ornaments. Garlands, balls of all sizes and shapes, candy canes, little boots and socks, little Santas… No light strings or candles,  of course . 

I t’s so unexpected and beautiful that  happy  tears roll on her cheeks. 

“ _Haymitch_ … _It’s…”_

“ _Expensive_ … _Laborious… Ridiculous…”_ he taunts her, but she hears the sarcasm in his voice. She turns to hit his arms playfully.

“ _Beautiful.”_ His eyes soften when he sees the emotion in her eyes and strokes her cheek with his thumb. The girls giggles again, less discretely this time. 

“ _Mistletoe!”_ the little voice of Prim squeals. 

Effie lifts her head to see a branch just above their head. Then another a few feet away. And another. They can hardly make a step without stepping under a branch of mistletoe. She shakes her head fondly and plants a quick kiss, full of promises for later, on Haymitch’s lips.

“ _Thank you.”_ she whispers before turning toward the girls. “ _So! Which one of you did all this?”_

“ _Haymitch bought the tree, we chose the ornaments!”_ Katniss explains. 

“ _I chose the whites!”_ Prim adds.

“ _And I the reds!”_

“ _I asked them to chose one colors and take whatever they wanted. And here we are!”_ Haymitch clarifies. 

“ _It’s so pretty.”_ Effie says, approaching to admire their work with awe. “ _Who chose the golden ones?”_ she asks, playing with the gold angel’s hair, placed strategically to reflect the light like if there were lights in the tree. 

“ _I did.”_ Haymitch answered, passing a hand in her hair absent-mindlessly.

“ _It’s so beautiful. I love it. Congratulations!”_ she smiles to them all, holding Haymitch’s hand tight in hers. 

“ _Come on girls, time to go to bed!”_ Haymitch announces in his dad voice. 

The two girls, already in their pyjamas, grumble and complain, but obey in the end. Katniss dragging her sister by the hand in the stairs. Effie laughs at the endearing scene.

Once the girls in their rooms, Haymitch turns her in his arms and kisses her tenderly.

“ _You didn’t have to do all that…”_ she tells him when they break. 

“ _I did.”_ he replies harshly. “ _You would have dragged me to do this, if… If I hadn’t been an asshole.”_

“ _You’re not…”_ She begins but he shuts her up with a hand on her mouth. 

“ _Effie, I… I miss the bubbly, excited, cheerful princess I met. The pain in my ass, making me do things, rebuking me on my language, laughing at my flaws. The woman who wasn’t afraid of the crazy old man I am. The woman I had not driven away…”_ he closes his eyes to take a deep breath. “ _I miss… I miss the woman I fell in love with.”_

She’s crying, silently, waiting for him to lift his head and open his eyes. She wants to see his eyes, they are her favorite features on him, and the part of him she trusts the most. When he finally looks at her, she sees them full of tears, of fear and of love.

And she kisses him. Hard. It’s the only response she can think of, her throat his closed by her overflowing heart.

And he kisses her too. Holding her so tight in his arms, like if she was going to melt and disappear in a blink.

They kiss for a long time, in front of that Christmas tree. She looses track of it, but it must be at least a few minutes. A few minutes when he never makes a move to heat things. In this moment, he doesn’t _want_ her. He just wants _her._

When they finally break their embrace, she’s still crying and he’s still clutching her waist, preventing her of fleeing from his arms. Not that she would go anywhere, she can barely take her forehead off his.

“ _So… You love me?”_ she asks, biting her bottom lip to hold her laugh. 

H e sighs and chuckles. 

“ _I didn’t hear you reciprocate…”_ he grumbles with fake annoyance, but she kisses him silent. 

“ _I love you… I love you, I love the girls… I love the family you gave me…”_

He kisses her again. To cut her before it becomes too much for him surely.

But he quickly takes her in his arms to carry her to his bedroom. Eager to show her the extent of his affection. Several times during the night…

xxx

Four days later, she’s closing the shop after an exhausting day -or two- of baking, decorating, packing and selling Christmas goods.

It’s six pm and she’s got one hour to get ready for the Christmas Eve night.

She takes a shower, does her makeup, puts on her _‘early gift’_ for Haymitch, and finally her white skater dress with white faux-fur at the hems. This is certainly one of Portia’s masterpiece. The gold embroideries are so thin they are almost invisible, only bringing light where it is needed.

She gets back down, takes her travel bag full of presents, cookies and clothes, and the box with her vanilla and caramel Yule log and drives to Haymitch’s place.

When she arrives, Katniss comes to open the door, she’s wearing a darling red dress and her hair in a braid crown, and Prim is running all over the place, in her candy cane tights and green furry little dress. She looks like a small Christmas elf.

As for Haymitch, he is in the kitchen, taking care of the seafood platter he had chosen for dinner. It’s the first time she sees him wearing a white shirt, and she wonders if it’s the best choice when you have two little girls about to fight with langoustine tails and clams. The red bow tie is a nice detail, and the navy blue smoking pants the most flattering piece he chose. Her mouth waters, both from the dish and the man in front of her eyes.

He catches her hungry gaze above his shoulder and laughs.

“ _Later sweetheart.”_ he teases, going to wash his hands before taking her in a breathtaking kiss.

Then he calls the girls for dinner.

They eat the seafood platter, garnished with smoked salmon, langoustines, shrimps, clams, oysters, crab, frying and different sauces and mayonnaise. Then the pumpkin and chestnuts soup with spices, and finally Effie’s log, made of almond genoese, vanilla cream and a salted caramel liquid heart.

After that copious dinner, they settle in the living room.

Haymitch doesn’t put a log in the fireplace, but he turns on the TV, on a channel that only broadcasts the film of a fireplace all night. He sits in the couch, with a girl on each side of him, and Effie sits in the armchair facing them, ready to listen to Haymitch’s Christmas tale.

He chooses a traditional one from his family. She had never heard it. It’s about little girls, searching for fairies, elves and korrigans in the woods, getting lost and rescued by kind wild animals.

She surprises herself at smiling and laughing with the girls, listening to him changing his voice to impersonate the different characters. She loves seeing him like that, comfortable, relaxed. Himself.

Past midnight, they get the girls to bed.

She takes care of Prim who’s already drifting off in her arms. She takes her to bed, helps her in her pyjamas and tells her a story. All along, the little girl never lets go of her hand.

When she finishes her story, the little toddler turns to her, rubbing her eyes.

“ _I love you…”_ she mumbles sleepily with an adorable pout.

“ _I love you too honey…”_ she answers, taking back her hand and pressing a kiss on her forehead.

She’s refreshing her makeup and hair in the bathroom when she hears Haymitch going to Prim’s room to kiss her goodnight. She doesn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but she can’t help overhearing part of it…

“ _Haymitch?”_

“ _Yes, sweetheart?”_

“ _Can Effie stay forever? Be my new mommy?”_

He sighs, and she can imagine him rubbing his nape awkwardly.

“ _I_ … _I don’t know sweetheart. It’s her choice.”_ he answers. “ _But I really do hope so too…”_ he adds, for her and a little for himself maybe.

Effie discretely leaves the bathroom, keeping this little incident for herself, and gets back downstairs on tiptoes, directly to Haymitch’s room.

She decides to put her plan to execution. She waits until she hears him in the stairs, and begins sucking suggestively on the candy cane she had stolen in a jar.

He freezes when he enters the room and sees her, and quickly closes the door behind his back to pounce on her. She kisses him back but doesn’t let him have his way with her.

Instead she pushes him flat on the bed and stands at its foot, far enough that he can see her all and her reflection in the mirror.

He settles against the pillows, sucking on the candy cane she threw with him, takes off his bow tie and undoes the first buttons of his shirt, ready to enjoy the show.

She takes off her dress slowly, exposing her red lingerie clad body. She blushes a little, seeing him drool like that, in front of her in a red lacy and silky corset, with matching panties and garter belt.

His pants are stretched at the groin, but he doesn’t even reach for himself, too enthralled by her show. He keeps his eyes on her face, mouth gaping as she crawls over him, still with her heels on.

“ _Fuck_ … _What’s that for?”_ he asks, as she pushes her breast on his face.

“ _Merry Christmas darling…”_ she simply purrs, before taking his lips in a languorous kiss.

Soon his hands and mouth are all over her, and he makes sure this Christmas gift turns to her advantage.

Afterwards, she jumps out of bed and goes to rummage in her travel bag.

“ _What are you doing?”_ he asks sleepily, opening one eye to look for her in the dark.

“ _I am not doing the present opening tomorrow morning in torn apart_ _lingerie_ _…”_ she answers, and he has the nerve to laugh. And he doesn’t stop when she takes out her Christmas pyjamas. A pair of white and red soft jacquard pants and a white camisole.

“ _Mock me if you will…”_ she pouts, a little vexed.

“ _That’s cute.”_ he laughs opening his arms to invite her back in the bed. “ _And you’re not wrong…”_ he adds, outstretching one arm to catch a pair of sweatpants in the dresser.

She comes back to huddle against his chest under the covers, and makes herself comfortable, her head against his naked skin, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his heart.

xxx

The next morning, they are woken up by two little girls jumping on the bed, screaming and pulling on their arms to get them out of bed, all excited by the prospect of opening their numerous presents, that have mysteriously appeared at the foot of the tree during the night.

Effie’s the first to get out of bed. She goes to the kitchen with Katniss and they make a tray of Christmas cookies, muffins, toasts and fruit. Haymitch soon join them, not very awake after their… eventful night, and prepares juices, hot chocolate, and a very needed pot of coffee.

They brings the trays on the coffee table, joining Prim who’s trying to read the names on the presents. Effie sits on the floor with the girls, just as excited as they are! She hands her first present to Haymitch, a joke more than a present. He rolls his eyes with a smirk as he reads the title of the book “ _How to cook less greasy”._ He gets down on his knees next to them to give her a big round metallic box and a few boxes to the girls. She opens it to find a collection of expensive exotic teas. Behind her the girls shriek discovering their new toys, dolls, and books. She’s happy to see that her presents -leather boots for Katniss and a blue dress for Prim - make them just as happy as Haymitch’s – toys and dolls for Prim and books and an inscription for archery classes for Katniss.

They keep going with all the packages under the tree. She gives Haymitch a new shaving kit, new socks to replace all those with holes at the toes, a new tartan flannel shirt, homemade sweater and scarf in dark blue wool and a bottle of his – and her- favorite cologne. He gifts her with a new recipe book of French pastries, a few pieces of night clothing to keep there – a darling almond green silk nightgown, warmer blue flannel pyjamas and a white dressing gown.

She helps the girls with her last present, two matching bracelets, made of a simple ribbon with a heart shaped charm. She had chosen a red one for Katniss and a cream white one for Prim.

Then Haymitch gives her a small envelope. She opens it to find two train tickets to Maine, and a schedule for three days at Goose Rocks Beach for the next Summer. She turns towards him, flabbergasted.

“ _You remembered?”_ he nods, blushing a little. “ _So you were listening…”_ he shrugs and she laughs, standing to come on his lap to kiss him properly, and whisper him one last thing “ _So, you were already interested…”_ he laughs, groping her ass playfully and wriggling his eyebrows. “ _Thank you.”_

“ _You’re welcome princess.”_ he answers with one last kiss before putting her back on the ground.

“ _Haymitch can we go upstairs?”_ Katniss asks, her arms already full of her presents, ready to run in her room.

“ _But there are…”_

“ _Run!”_ he answers, laughing at the girls’ enthusiasm.

“ _But there are still some presents to open!”_ Effie almost pouts, looking at the three boxes left under the lowest branches.

Haymitch kneels next to her and takes the square blue one and hands it to her. She takes it to find a simple silver chain with a big Tahitian black pearl on a pendant.

“ _Oh my god… It’s beautiful…”_ she gasps, wondering if he knows the meaning of that kind of pearl. Never ending love…

He takes it and puts it around her neck. It falls perfectly between her breast, not to low to be hidden by her clothes, but not too high to be shown off. He presses a tender kiss on the side of neck while she leans to take her last present.

She gives it to him, scrutinizing his reaction when he discovers the golden watch she bought him.

“ _What’s that? A manacle?”_ he teases. She has to admit she didn’t chose the most discrete one, but it was beautiful, and it would go perfectly on his tanned skin. And the grey marble dial background had reminded her of his eyes.

He puts it on, softening his gaze seeing the little vexed pout on her face, and erases it with a kiss.

“ _Thanks sweetheart.”_

“ _What’s in that last box?”_ she asks, pointing her finger on the little red box left alone on the ground.

“ _That’s not… Not really a present…”_ he says, taking it but not giving it right away. “ _It’s_ … _Kind of a… proposition.”_ He keeps hesitating, playing with the box in his hand, so she snatches it from his fingers.

Inside is a golden key ring. With a few little trinkets, a light pink tassel with a fake diamond to link it to the chain, a metallic plate engraved with the word “HOME” and a chain with three little charms, a little girl with one braid, an other one with two braids, and a little princess crown. And of course, a big key, just like the one she had thrown at his face a couple of weeks ago.

“ _Do you… Would you like to come… Live with us?”_ he asks her, holding her hand in his, slightly shaking.

She doesn’t really need to think about it.

“ _Of course! I’d love to!”_ she whispers, falling in his arms.

She can’t help thinking about Prim’s words the previous night, and his answer.

Of course she’ll stay.

There was nothing she wanted, needed, more for this Christmas but to Build her new family. Take care of these two little girls, and mend that broken man she’s holding in her arms.

She might need to go back to Coin after all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter is over… only one left! One week before Christmas!   
> Please tell me everything! I love to know what people think!   
> See you next Thursday! xxx


	5. A year after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!   
> I hope you all had great holidays and that your liver is in good health after all these food, alcohol and chocolate!   
> Here we are, at the end of this story… I hope you’ll like it, and that it will answer to all your wishes!

**A year after...**

“ _Haymitch!”_

The screech comes from the bathroom. Like almost every Sunday for a few month.  It’s the only day of the week Effie isn’t up and gone when he wakes up. Or rather when the two little hurricanes come jumping in their bed to wake them up. 

Haymitch doesn’t bother answering her  apostrophe, he simply buries his head further between the pillow, shielding himself for what he knows is coming.

“ _Haymitch! This has to stop!”_ she whines coming back in the bedroom. “ _Don’t you listen to me?!”_

“ _Ouch!”_ he half screams half laughs when he receives a bundled sweater on his bare back. He’s glad the rest of his swearing is muffled by the pillows.

“ _This is all your fault! I took another pound! That’s three in a month!”_ she rants before flopping at the edge of the bed, whacking his side for good measure.

“ _Ouch! Stop it! This is domestic abuse…”_ he grumbles, finally turning on his side to see her. Well, her back. She huffs. “ _See I can be a drama queen too…”_

She sighs theatrically. Her arms crossed in front of her chest and her face angled away from him.

He has a hard time understanding why she is so upset about a little weight more or less, but he takes her in his arms all the same.

After all he had sworn not to make her cry ever again.

“ _You’re gorgeous princess. It’s not even_ _noticeable._ _”_ Well, it was. But it wasn’t _that_ dramatic and it had gone to all the right places. More breast to kiss, more ass to knead and stronger thighs, he wasn’t to complain about it. She looked even more like a goddess to him. When does she not?… “ _That’_ _s_ _more you for me…”_ he adds, kissing her neck and spreading his hands on her still honorably flat stomach.

“ _That’s also more me that doesn’t fit in my clothes…”_ she grumbles, softened by his attention but still mad. “ _From now on you’ll only make salad for dinner!”_

“ _The girls will be thrilled!”_ he deadpans shaking his head and rolling his eyes behind her back.

He’s a little annoyed by her new obsession with her weight, but that is not the worst couple problem they could have, so he had made his peace with it.

“ _Come on. Time to eat your breakfast salad, or the girls will come to investigate.”_ he pushes her up to get out of the bed and leaves her there with one last kiss.

When he enters the kitchen after a stop in the bathroom, the girls are already there, taking out of the cupboards all the necessary ingredients for their traditional Sunday morning pancakes.

“ _So, Blueberry or banana today?”_

“ _Blueberry!”_

The answer is unanimous, from his three woman standing in his kitchen.

They all sit to eat in a cheerful atmosphere. Effie seems to have forgiven him, even if she only eat _one_ pancake with a white yogurt and clementines. The girls are all excited, more than usual because of the growing proximity of Christmas.

He isn’t as anxious at the prospect of the Holiday as he had been in the past, but he still isn’t thrilled. But seeing them all so happy appeases him a little. Now, the worst are the nightmares, and he isn’t alone to face them anymore.

“ _Go get ready girls! We sail in an hour!”_ he tells the girls as he is gathering the empty plates to put them in the sink.

Effie comes closer to him, to help him with the dishes.

“ _We have more than an hour and a half.”_ she laughs.

“ _Better be safe…”_ he mumbles.

“ _That leaves us plenty of time…”_ she purrs behind him, hugging him and tiptoeing to bite on his earlobe.

“ _Someone’s greedy lately…_ _Didn’t have enough,_ _yesterday night and that night_ _and this morning_ _?”_ he chuckles, turning to take her with his hands still soaking of water and soap.

“ _No. Never_ … _”_ she breathes claiming his lips in a languorous kiss. _Damn,_ he can’t resist her when she kisses him like that, biting on his bottom lip and gliding her tongue on his palate. And she knows that too well.

“ _Shower?”_ he manages to ask between two kisses. She doesn’t answer but puts her arms around his neck tightly. He takes the hint and lifts her to carry her there. It _was_ becoming a little straining, he had to admit and he winced a little in the kiss.

She feels it and shoots him a glare but he kisses her again to avoid spoiling the mood. His sweatpants were loose but not that much and it’s becoming quite uncomfortable…

He kicks the door open and sits her on the counter. They quickly undress and move under the steamy stream.

They had become very creative with their sex locations lately. With two little clueless girls a few feet away from them, intimacy wasn’t always easy to find and the shower had become one of their best friends.

He kisses and laps at the drops running between her breast, sucking on them in turn and burying his face between them. Competition was hard between them and her absolutely perfect ass for the title of his favorite part of her. He loved everything in her anyway.

She strokes him to full hardness - not that she had much work to do-, scratching at his back and biting on her cheeks to hold on her moans.

Then he goes back to her face, kissing her everywhere from her mouth to her neck, lingering under her ear, while getting her ready for him. He only brushes against her silken folds than she’s already whimpering in his shoulder. He pushes one finger in her soaked and warm core and she’s biting him to muffle a cry.

“ _Damn, Effie…”_ he didn’t know himself if it was out of pain or surprise. He wasn’t _that_ good to just make her come so quick.

“ _Sorry_ … _sorry.”_ she pants, kissing the injured patch of skin. “ _Take me Haymitch, please…”_

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He lifts her up by the thighs and enters her in one thrust, pinning her to the slippery wall. Her blond wet curls are stuck at the dark blue tiles, like a golden aureole around her head. But the noises she is making are everything but those of a saint.

She is moaning and sighing, holding a hand in front of her mouth, as he is thrusting into her. He isn’t going to last long if she keeps going like that.

“ _Oh god… Oh god!”_

“ _That’s Haymitch actually…”_ he taunts but he comes too, feeling her walls tightening around him so strongly. God she had never been so insatiable lately. “ _Does the extra pounds come with extra libido?”_ he chuckles, holding her shaking figure as she untangles her legs from his waist.

She whacks his chest but doesn’t reply, still panting from her couple of orgasms in five minutes.

“ _You okay sweetheart?”_ she nods and kisses his chest tenderly. “ _Turn around I’ll wash your hair.”_

It had become a weird kink of his. He is completely in love with her golden blond hair and he loves passing his fingers in her wet curls and massaging her scalp. And she seems to like that too.

That’s also how he had discovered the little white strand at her nape. Stress she had said. She always tries to hide it, but he loves it. It only make her a little more unique.

They wash quickly and get dressed to go.

Like every Sunday, there going to eat lunch at Sae’s new house, one hour away, in the suburbs of the closest big city.

He had been reluctant to send her there at first, but he had to admit it was a good thing. She was away from her home town but he often took her back, and she was safe and happy enough with her independence there. She had a small house, big enough to have some guest, but not too big as too exhaust herself walking around. She had nice neighbors, Woof was a little old, but Mags was a very nice old woman around her age. They got along immediately when she had arrived and they have a lot of fun organizing poker nights in the neighborhood.

Effie had been right to insist, Sae is much safer and happier there, even if she misses the town sometimes. But it had left him with the house on his arms…

He is torn from his thoughts by Effie coming out of the bedroom, dressed in a sage green woolen turtleneck dress with black tights and leather boots. Even with her body all covered, he still feels his mouth water.

She gets down to get the pie she had prepared and he goes to get the girls in their room. Fifteen minutes later, they’re gone.

They arrive at noon, as scheduled.

They eat, laugh and talk, and Mags comes to take coffee with them after lunch.

They talk about anything and everything, the girls are having their best time building a snowman in the garden, he holds his girls tight against him. Everything feels so right…

“ _So boy! What are doing with your house?”_ Sae asks for the hundredth time.

He rolls his eyes for the hundredth time and lies for the hundredth time.

“ _I don’t know…”_ he tries to put enough strength in his sigh to make it believable. Effie doesn’t even comment anymore, she just sighs. They had had this particular conversation so many times already he isn’t sure how longer he’ll be able to hold it…

He _does_ know very well what he’s going to do with the house. What he _is_ doing.

Right now as they speak, Cinna and Portia must be bringing the last furniture and decorations, and Beetee -Wiress husband- finishing with the Automation he had asked for, mostly for Effie’s comfort.

He had had it redone completely. From foundations to the roof, by all the friends he could find to help. Chaff had helped with the plumbing, Blight with the carpentry and painting and he had to have the whole electricity redone by an exterior company. He had asked Portia’s help for the interior decoration to be sure it would suit Effie’s tastes, but had kept a close eye on it. He wasn’t ready to have fuchsia walls or designer furniture.

It might seem a little crazy for a year long relationship, but he still doesn’t believe he had succeeded to have such a woman in his life, and he is ready to do anything to keep her as long as he can. To deserve her.

The girls had moved to another subject of gossip, and they were laughing good-heartedly.

He watched her, laughing with her throat offered and her head hitting the crook of his elbow. He could listen to her laugh forever, it was the most musical sound to his ears. It meant she was happy, and it was the only thing he wanted.

That and the tight fit of living at four in an apartment made for two had decided him. And the unfathomable thought of leaving his mother’s house to someone else or worse, to decay.

She had been right, when he had gone back a few days after the incident to take some of Sae’s stuff he had been horrified to see the state the house was in. He could even hear the ghost of his mother lecturing him all the while he had been inside.

It is better now that the house doesn’t look like it used to. Well, it’s still white, with a navy blue front door. But the inside is nothing like it was and it’s better this way. Easier.

The sight of Prim coming back in the living room, her nose red from the cold and her eyelids dropping reminds him he has to go back and gives him the perfect excuse to take their leave.

They say their goodbyes and leave the house just in time for him to be at the house in time to welcome Blight and the huge Christmas tree he had ordered him.

When they arrive, the girls go directly to their rooms and Effie falls on the couch. He goes to peck her lips from behind the backrest.

“ _I have to go to Chaff’s. I won’t be long.”_ he doesn’t like lying to her but it’s for the good cause.

“ _What? Again?”_ she pouts, clutching the lapels of his jacket. “ _Stay with me…”_ he would gladly cave to her shiny pleading eyes but it’s the last rush and they’re on a schedule.

“ _I’ll be back for dinner, I promise.”_ he says, taking her hands off him gently and pecking her soft lips one last time.

She doesn’t answer, simply burrows herself in the cushions and takes the TV remote. She seems upset and it puzzles him a little, but it can wait. He really has to go.

The house is almost perfect. The paint is dry, the furnishing almost done and now, a huge tree, taller than him, is waiting to be decorated in the corner of the living room. Right between the fireplace and the bow window.

“ _Look what I found.”_ Portia exclaims, approaching him with a big box of candles.

He frowns but she keeps her smiles on, showing him the label on the box.

“ _LED candles. They look like real ones and they are completely harmless.”_ she explains softly with a reassuring smile. “ _I bought some of those a year ago and I swear to you they are perfectly safe. I’m still here to testify.”_ she winks, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He is agreeably surprised she had thought about that kind of _little_ detail. He watches her as she puts some on the bow window sill, right above the cushions on the sit and under the curtains.

His stomach makes a knot by reflex, but he soon rationalizes. The flames are still, only the little bulb hidden under it is flickering to give the impression of a moving flame. He takes one to test the switch button, it works, and it is perfectly cold in his hand.

“ _Thank you. That’s really nice.”_ Effie would love it, they both knew.

“ _You’re welcome.”_ she winks at him. “ _I have to go, see you on Wednesday?”_

“ _Yeah. Yes… Wednesday…”_ Wednesday… He still had to find a good reason to be out of town for the day…

He doesn’t even hear Portia leave, too absorbed in his contemplation of the room. Christmas is in two weeks, and he still has to do all the _decking._ But it would wait until Thursday at least. He needs to know what color to use for the ornaments.

For now, the living room is already perfect as it is. With the white and sandstone orange walls, the wooden floor covered by the plushy Persian rugs, the mahogany furniture, the huge sculpted fireplace and the chocolate sofa and armchairs with their colorful additional cushions. He has to admit Portia had done a great work. He loves it. It’s modern but not too much, cozy and warm. Homey. He could already picture himself in the leather armchair, with the three women of his life running around and annoying him like they tend to do when he wants a moment of peace and quiet.

As promised, he comes back home by seven, right on time to make them a _salad_ dinner. The girls are visibly in the middle of a game of some sort in one of their rooms, and Effie is nowhere to be seen.

He finds her in the bedroom, asleep, her back against her mountain of pillows with her book forgotten on her lap. There are tissues on the nightstand and her eyes seem slightly red.

He come in the bed next to her, kissing her on the forehead not to startle her awake. She hums and her eyelids flutter open, searching around for what had woken her up.

“ _Hey princess.”_ he says with a smirk, passing a hand in her hair, the ways he knows she likes.

“ _Oh! I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to fall asleep…”_

“ _Don’t be sorry. You’re alright?”_ he would hate her to be sick for the holidays. It would spoil all her joy and all his surprise.

“ _Yes, yes!”_ she answers without missing a beat. Her smile is strained, and it’s not only because she isn’t properly awake. If she thinks she can still fool him… “ _Did you have a good time?”_ she asks, hugging herself tighter in what he realizes now is one of his sweaters.

“ _Yeah. Yeah_ _I did_ _...”_

“ _Good.”_

 _G_ _ood?_ That’s all?

Something was definitely amiss with her lately. She was… not _distant_ but… wary. Yeah, wary again. Like after that awful fight a year ago. Afraid of saying or doing too much, walking on eggshells around him at times. Not all the time though.

Half of the time she was clingy and dragging him into more and more creative and awesome sex. That half he isn’t complaining about.

But the changes of mood were weird and he didn’t like that. There was something she wasn’t telling him.

“ _You’re sure you’re okay?”_ he insists, trying to coax her into confessing… something.

“ _Yes, I am perfectly fine. Just a little tired that’s all.”_

He brings her to him, her head in the crook of his neck so that he can bury his nose in her curls while massaging her nape. It always soothes her from her worries.

“ _You smell weird.”_ she states flatly and he can hear her wrinkle her nose.

He tenses slightly and she must feel it.

“ _Yeah?_ _W_ _hat?”_ It would be his luck to fail so close of the end of the line only because he smelled like fresh paint and plaster.

“ _Pine and… vanilla?”_

For the pine it was easy to explain, he had helped Blight getting the Christmas tree up. But for the vanilla it was… _Fuck…_

“ _Chaff has a huge tree because of the kids. And Seeder brought a cake.”_ That’s a better explanation than saying he smelled like her best friend’s perfume…

“ _Oh,_ _that’s nice of her_ _.”_ she says but it lacks cheer. She has that look that means she is thinking way too much, about what he said or what she should or shouldn’t say.

“ _Was not as good as yours.”_ he adds to cheer her up a little. She laughs a little but she still isn’t completely back to herself.

He hates to see her like that, he feels helpless.

So he kisses her. As tenderly and passionately as he can. Trying to load it with all the things he wants to say but doesn’t know how to express.

After a beat she responds in kind, but she _had_ hesitated.

They stay like that, kissing and cuddling for a while. But he breaks the embrace when he feels himself becoming painfully hard, knowing it wouldn’t be useful until the girls are in bed, a few hours from now.

She frowns but he brings her hand on his groin to make her feel that the problem isn’t a _lack_ of desire for her.

“ _Let’s keep it for later yeah? I need to go make your salad…”_ he jokes and she chuckles in his neck, letting out a sigh of relief. He takes a few breath and thinks really hard about the meaning of life to get his blood out of his dick before getting out of bed.

“ _You’re coming?”_ he outstretches his hand to her. She takes it with a genuine smile this time.

“ _I’ll take care of Lady and I’ll come to help you.”_

He had forgot to buy things for the cat for the house. He quickly takes his phone to write a note for it.

If she thinks he doesn’t see her watching him doing it from the threshold, she is mistaken. She ain’t much of a spy.

xxx

I t’s Wednesday. 

Finally.

He wakes up with Effie’s body between his legs, her head bowed to kiss him all around his morning wood. It must be early if she’s still there.  A quick glance confirms that it’s just five  in the morning. 

“ _Hello to you too sweetheart.”_ he chuckles, running his hand in her hair, the other under his head so he can enjoy the show. 

She doesn’t answer him, instead she takes him whole in her mouth sensually, waiting for him to touch the back of her throat to finally lift her eyes into his.  He can’t help a guttural grunt to escape him. 

She is so fucking perfect his wife.

Well,  _wife…_ not yet. 

She releases him with an obscene ‘pop’ and a salacious grin. “ _Hello darling.”_

“ _To what...”_ he sucks in a breath as she begins toying with his head with her tongue. She had some tricks… “ _Do I owe... the honor?”_ he finishes with much difficulties. 

Talking is the last thing he wants to do right now, but it might help him to last a little longer and not to embarrass himself.

“ _You asked me to wake you_ _early_ _today. So…”_ and she takes him again. Her eyes fixed on his face. 

“ _Yeah. Yeah right…”_ he sighs, throwing his head back on his pillow and his arm on his eyes. If he looks at her, he will come in a second. So he takes deep breath and enjoys the warm and we sensation of her perfect mouth around his sensitive skin. 

“ _God_ … _”_ After a few minutes of bliss, he can’t hold it much longer and puts a hand on her shoulder to warn her. 

She lets go of him to look in his eyes and this time he holds her gaze as she crawls higher above him and takes him between her breast, squeezing them around him.

She had never done that before. And only for that, he wishes she never loses a single pound.

His face must be sight because she chuckles as she moves up and done, and the vibration is his undoing.

“ _Oh, Jesus fuck…”_ with a grunt he come all over her breast and his stomach. 

Damn but he loved that woman.

He pulls her in a breathtaking kiss,  not caring about spreading his cum all over their bodies. He can taste himself on her tongue and it makes him want to taste her. 

He tries to maneuver her to the side but she cling to his neck, refusing to move an inch.

He frowns and break the kiss.

“ _What’s wrong?”_

“ _Do you really have to be away all day?”_ she pouts, kissing and nibbling on his neck. She is wriggling over him and he can feel her soaking wet right above his dick. He is not ready to get hard again, but slips his finger between them. 

“ _Yeah. I have… things to do in the city. Boring things. Bank, attorney…”_ it wouldn’t do to have her insist on accompanying him so he tries to make it look bad and to distract her from her worry. 

He slides his fingers along her core but nothing more. Yet.

But she’s already whimpering, and she kisses him hungrily.

“ _Oh_ …” she breathes. He doesn’t know if it’s a disappointed answer or a noise of pleasure. 

“ _You’ll be okay with the girls?”_ he asks her, maybe that’s what’s bothering her. It will be the first time they’ll be a whole day without him. 

“ _Yes... Yes, don’t worry about that. Oh… yes...”_

“ _Alright.”_ he answers, quite surprised by her arousal. She is moaning and half incoherent above him and he hadn’t even properly touched her yet… 

He tries to rub his thumb on her clit and she has to bite her hand to muffle her cry.

“ _Shower.”_ he says in a no argument tone as he takes her in his arms to carry her to the bathroom. It was as much to clean the mess he had made as to be sure to have some privacy, now that he is up and ready again. 

After breakfast, while he is getting ready in the bedroom, Effie come in and hugs him from behind. Holding on to him for dear life.

“ _You’re okay sweetheart?”_ he frowns. 

“ _Yes.”_ It’s muffled in his sweater.

“ _Didn’t you have enough earlier?”_ he teases. He isn’t going for a third round, he’s already late and Portia will have his head. 

“ _Never.”_ she answers, sounding far too serious and sad for such a topic. 

He doesn’t take this single little word lightly.

He turns to take her in a tender hug, and plants an equally tender kiss on her lips.

“ _I’ll be back as soon as possible, princess._ _I need to go, I’m already late.”_

“ _Since when do you respect schedules?”_ They both snort. He would never admit she had succeeded in making him see the virtue of a well organized life. He still has his pride… 

H e kisses her one last time, intending to keep it short, but she wraps her arms around his neck and cl i ngs to him as she deepens the kiss.  One could have believed he was going to war.

When he leaves, she gives him a sad smile and holds his hand until their arms are outstretched to the limit.

“ _I love you.”_ she whispers tentatively. He simply winks at her as he closes the door. 

H e hates to see her sad and hesitant like that. The contrast between the bold woman sucking him awake this morning and the shy clingy thing he had left at the door puzzle s him. 

H e arrives at the garage twenty minutes later than planned. Portia is tapping her foot on the floor, her arms crossed and her lips pursed. 

“ _Here,_ _I’m_ _here. Don’t scream at me, not my fault.”_ he says, holding his hand in the air in a peace offering. 

“ _I’m not the one who’ll scowl if we arrive too late and don’t find what I want!”_ she huffs. “ _You can always ask Chaff for a nut if you don’t get anything. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”_ she adds wryly. He rolls his eyes when he hears Chaff laugh in the background. 

“ _I have all_ _forms_ _and sizes, buddy!”_

“ _Come on, lets go!”_ Cinna saves him for their friends gibes, throwing him the keys of a borrowed SUV. Much more adapted for the highway than his old coughing pick up truck. 

T he three of them get in the car, and make their way to the closest city. 

Officially, he is going alone, and Cinna and Portia are gone to a fashion exhibit in an other city.  In reality, they had offered to help him choose  a ring for Effie. 

A ring…

If anyone had told him five years ago that he would have girls and be about to propose to another today, he would have laughed at that person’s crazy face. And yet, here he was.

They begin with the shopping center. There he finds some presents, but no ring. He finds a book for Chaff, cooking tools for Sae, and the toys and clothes the girls had put on their lists.

As he’s walking in the alleys, he stops in front of a luxury brand store. He recognizes the white dress, with pearls and embroideries on the mannequin. He had caught Effie drooling in front of that particular model on the brand website a few times, complaining about the high price of the piece  and sketching patterns to make a similar one .  The price  _was_ crazily high, but he had to admit the dress  _was_ absolutely gorgeous. It was fancy but sober, classy. And it  i s  presented coupled with a delicate silk scarf with blue roses printed on it. They were of the exact color of Effie’s eyes…

H e doesn’t think much longer and enters the store. The salesman lifts an eyebrow at him, certainly not used to see someone with his look in his store, but comes to him with a perfect commercial smile and attitude. As long as he has the means to pay… 

“ _Hello sir, how can I help you?”_

“ _Hum, I’d like to see the white dress and the scarf there.”_ he asks, pointing a finger to the right direction. The man hums and shows him the corner of the shop where the different sizes are on display.

“ _What size sir?”_

A few month ago he would have said 4, but now she was closer of a 6, and he liked that much better. She had been almost too thin before, and he doesn’t want to see her back to diets and counting calories.

And if it was slightly too big, she could still adjust it.

“ _A six, please.”_

T he man takes out a dress from the display and shows it t him. The size seems right to him so he just nods, not daring to look at the price tag. He follows him to the counter. 

“ _Do you need anything else?”_ he asks politely. 

Haymitch takes a breath to answer no, but as he lifts his head from his wallet, his eyes fall on the scarf again.

“ _I’ll take the scarf too.”_ He rolls his eyes at himself in his head. He is _so_ whipped…

This time he really doesn’t look at the cash register screen when the salesman scans the two articles, and tunes him out when he gives him the card machine. He just composes his code, thanks the man, takes his bag and gets out of there.

He doesn’t care if his credit card reach its fusion point today. She deserves it.

Portia’s eyes grow wide, fixed on the bag in his hand, when he joins them to the car on the parking lot. Cinna shakes his head with an amused chuckle but his smile strains when Portia throws him a glare.

“ _Come on_ _babe_ _, I can make better ones just for you.”_ he defends himself, adding a kiss on her forehead. Nice catching up.

They get in the car and go to the center of the city. Where all the best jewelry brands are situated. There are three they want to see, the only ones who make engagement rings.

The first one is really posh, too much even.

Portia and him exchange a look when they find themselves in front of the display. She wrinkles her nose and he winces.

The rings are… old-fashioned. Too put it nicely. They remind him of the old women in the Town council. With their huge rings with equally obnoxiously huge stones, their big earrings and their tweed suit. He was sure he could find one like that for far less money in Snow’s pawnshop.

They all seemed to be on one mind about that because they left the store without a word, avoiding the saleswomen eyes.

The second is better in his opinion. But not in Portia’s.

The rings are pretty, of a reasonable price -on the expensive side, but still reasonable for an engagement ring. But she declares them too classic.

She isn’t wrong. Effie isn’t the plain and classic kind.

So they make their way to his third and last chance.

It’s a small shop, hidden in a back-street. Their isn’t many models in the outside display, but they are all homemade. They could see the young saleswoman inside and the old man crafting something in his workshop in the back.

Haymitch immediately likes it. He turns toward Portia to see her beaming.

They enter and the young woman comes to them with a genuine smile. Not one of those fake one plastered on every other sellers face.

“ _Hello, my name is Octavia, how can I help you?”_

“ _We’d like to see the engagement rings.”_

“ _Alright, they’re all here.”_ she guides them to a small display in the back, with no more than a dozen models of rings.

He looks at them attentively.

He hears her chat with Cinna and Portia behind him. He learns that it’s only her and her father there, and that they design and craft all their models themselves. They also do some custom command.

That could have been an interesting thing, but he won’t need it. He has the perfect one in front of his eyes. Two thin twisted steel bands, embedding three little stones. A clear blue sapphire in the middle, and two pure smaller diamonds on each side of it.

It looked like an eye. Her eyes. He was seeing them everywhere. Like if she was always watching him.

The ring was perfect. Modern, classy, unique. Gorgeous.

“ _Portia?”_ he calls, not caring that he cuts her mid-phrase. Rude or not, he needs her help.

“ _Yes?”_ she approaches and bows to look at what his finger is pointing. “ _Yes._ _Yes!”_

She tries it, because they wear the same size, and it fits just right.

So he buys it. He pays, hearing her grinning and clapping her hands in joy behind his back, Cinna laughing at her excitement.

Octavia hands him a small paper bag with a small white box inside.

White it will be then…

When they come back to the garage, Portia leaves him with a hug and Cinna with a tap on the shoulder.

He walks back home in the chilly night, leaving footsteps in the fresh snow.

He has never been so happy and scared in the same time.

He has no reason to be scared, he knows. But the last time he had come back home with a ring in his pocket…

He doesn’t want to think about it. He had promised her to stop dwelling on the past.

He leaves his bags in the diner’s storage room and climbs upstairs.

He opens the door to finds them all in their pyjamas -well very pretty green nightgown in Effie’s case-, on the sofa, with a tray full of cocoa, cookies and candies in front of them, watching Christmas movies on TV. They watch him like deers caught in headlights.

“ _Girls, I think we’ve been caught.”_ Effie whispers playfully and the girls giggle.

“ _What happened to the no-sugar-after-five rule?”_ he asks, lifting a falsely angry eyebrow.

“ _It’s Christmas?”_ they try in a perfect choir after exchanging a partner-in-crime look.

He shakes his head fondly at their newfound complicity and falls on the sofa next to Effie, stuffing a cookie in his mouth. He puts an arm around her shoulders and she leans against him, as much as she can with Prim on her lap.

He wonders while they watch the end of their movie, in a comfortable domestic silence, only broken by their occasional laugh.

He wonders at how much his life has changed. He would never have dreamed it not so long ago.

And now, he had a family of his own. And it wasn’t even that scary.

Because he wasn’t alone to face this life.

It might have only been a year, but they already had their little habits.

Effie would be up well before him, but he would see her at the diner for her morning coffee before she opens the shop. Hazelle still takes care of the girls, but he can be with them until Effie comes back at the end of her day, thanks to the young woman he had hired to help him, Cecelia.

Effie had not been thrilled by her presence at first, but she’s in her early twenties, married and very much _not_ his type. His type being strictly blond with perfect legs and asses lately, and she is tall, muscular with no real forms, with brown eyes and hair in a pixie cut.

Then he would join them around bed time, read Prim a story, and they would cuddle on the couch or in the bed for a while before going to sleep. And on Sundays they have breakfast all together before going to Sae and end their day quietly, relaxing before going for an other week.

They had a routine, but they made sure it wasn’t boring. They often did things to spice things up. Just him and Effie or with the girls.

He would never let her get bored. He is still marveling at the fact he had managed to get such a perfect creature, so he isn’t going to take her for granted anytime soon.

He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize that the movie is over and Prim is asleep on Effie’s lap.

He is startled when she kisses his cheek to bring him back with them. They take the girls to bed and he takes his girl to bed too.

They cuddle in their bed. Him sat against the headrest reading a book, with her sprawled on his chest, scrolling on her phone for new recipes.

He is caressing her collarbones absent-mindlessly, tracing senseless patterns on her chest. After a few minutes she puts down her phone and just closes her eyes, enjoying the attention.

He lifts his eyes from his book and realizes he has a perfect view of her cleavage from where he was, especially with that nightgown.

He slowly moves his hand down her chest, continuing his patterns, until reaching her breast. He only caresses them, kneading softly at first. They are certainly the part of her that had ‘ _suffered’_ the most of her weight gain, they barely fit in his hand now.

And he isn’t complaining…

Her breathing has quickened, but she still hasn’t said anything. So he keeps going, a little more teasingly, taking her hardened nipple between his fingers sometimes on his path, squeezing a little but nothing more. Everytime he touches them, she moans one of those moans that goes straight to his groin.

When she turns her head to bite and kiss on his neck, he tosses his book aside and switches off his bedside lamp.

xxx

The end of the week goes as expected.

It’s the last week before Christmas, the last rush, and the town is buzzing with people shopping, carolers and children running around.

T hey barely see each other during the day, Haymitch is busy with the diner and the girls, and Effie and Portia are overwhelmed by orders.  Even when she comes back at night, she brings some sewing work to finish. 

W hen he wakes up on Sunday morning, he expects to find her beside him.

But he only finds cold sheets. He opens his eyes to see that it’s still dark outside. It’s barely five am.  She can’t have gone to work so early on a Sunday… Can she? 

B ut then he hears the flush in the bathroom, and she reappears a minute later. 

“ _Everything’s okay sweetheart?”_ he asks sleepily. 

“ _Oh, yes. I just_ _got thirsty and_ _needed the bathroom. Sorry I woke you.”_ she answers, getting back in the bed. 

I f she had only needed the bathroom, the sheets wouldn’t have had time to get cold  and her eyes wouldn’t be red and puffy . And whatever she had drank had a lemony taste he learns by pecking her lips once she’s safely back in his arms.  But he doesn’t insist, his brain isn’t awake enough. 

He just snuggles against her,  holding  her  close and safe, and falls back to slumber. 

They sleep a few more hours, until the girls shattering entrance.

He needs to pee first thing, and when he comes in the kitchen Effie is already bustling with the breakfast. Yogurts, eggs and bacon, pancakes, orange juice… So much for a woman on a diet.

Again, later in the afternoon after coming back from Sae’s,  h e goes to his secret meeting with Portia and Cinna in the house. 

Effie isn’t pleased to see him leave again, he can see it. She has tha t sad, yearning thing in her eyes. 

But t oday isn’t any day, it’s Christmas decorating. Something he hasn’t done without help for years. Until last years he hadn’t done it at all since his teenage years to be honest. 

He had bought some things and they had bought others. They ha ve five bags full of decoration to literally  _deck the halls_ today. It’s  going to be  a lot of work. 

They begin with putting some ivy and pine branches garlands around the arch doors and the windows frames, before adding some ornaments in them. Mostly balls of different sizes and some fake edelweiss and poinsettia flowers Portia had found.

They had chosen white and gold as a color theme.

Then it’s time to decorate the tree. They spray fake snow on it first, then put a thin LED garland Haymitch had accepted, at the condition that it was turned off when nobody was in the room. After that they moved to the other garlands and ornament of all shapes and sorts until they could barely distinguish the tree under them.

He has to climb on a table for the last touch.

A star made of real mother of pearl. One of the few things he had salvaged from the ruins of his house.

How it had survived, it was a mystery. But he had decided that it was a sign. The star is his mother and his brother watching him. Them. Protecting his family.

Last touch, not exactly.

When he climbs down and turns around, he finds Portia handing him a paper bag with a grin.

He takes the little box inside and goes back to the tree to dissimulate it in the ornaments. He settle it slightly in the back, facing the side of the fireplace, between a glass angel and a lace heart. The chances that she would notice it there are more than slim.

xxx

W hen he come back home, he hears that the girls are in their room. He searches for Effie and finds her in an armchair, watching him like a hawk. Like if she had been waiting for him. 

The moment their eyes meet, she pounces on him and kisses him hard. Her hands roam all over his torso. When they part, she all but shoves him in the bathroom and makes him sit on the edge of the bathtub.

_Fuck_ but he is already hard just from her kiss and  the fire in her eyes. 

S he kisses him again as her hands work expertly on his belt and zipper. 

“ _Damn sweetheart, what’s that for?”_ he chuckles in the kiss. 

“ _I missed you.”_ she purrs, getting on her knees between his parted legs. 

“ _I have only been away a few hours.”_

“ _A few hours too much.”_ she whispers far too close of his, now exposed, very hard dick. Her breath is hot on him and it makes him shiver. And then she licks his length. 

“ _Fuck, I should leave you alone more often…”_ he jokes, but the light scrape of her teeth is an efficient rebuke. And the flick of her tongue on his vein takes away all desire to joke. 

All his desire is on her and her mouth and her tongue and …  _God…_

She sucks and licks on his cock, massaging his balls with a hand and clutching his thigh with the other.

He is so far gone that he forgets to warn her when he’s about to come. His grunt is the only warning she gets, and she takes him deeper in her throat.

He come like that, thrusting deep in her mouth, and she takes it all.

It’s not the first time it happens so he doesn’t worry, until she chokes on him and withdraws hurriedly. She turns on her knee to reach the, fortunately close, toilets just in time to throw up everything, coughing and crying from the fright.

“ _Shit. Shit, Effie you’re okay, sweetheart?”_ he kneels next to her, holds her hair out of the way and puts a hand on her back, rubbing it to comfort her.

“ _Yes, yes I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened…”_ she answers after taking a few deep calming breaths.

“ _No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”_

“ _I pushed you to do it.”_ she laughs, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

He kisses her forehead, feeling like an idiot. All the more with his dick still hanging in the air. He puts him back in his pants and carries her to their bed.

For all her reassurances, she’s still pale and shaking slightly.

He brings her some warm pyjamas and makes sure she’s well tucked under the covers before going to the kitchen.

“ _Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”_ he orders her.

He comes back five minutes later with a cup of her favorite peppermint tea and a plate of cookies. She’s on her side still burrowed under the blankets, already dozing off. She shakes her head awake when he enters and sit a little.

“ _Oh, thank you Haymitch, but you shouldn’t. I am fine really, only a little tired.”_

“ _I can see that.”_ he huffs kindly, putting everything on her bedside table and coming beside her on the bed. “ _You stay there, take all the time you need. I’ll tell the girls you’re not well.”_ he says, rubbing her stomach with his big hand and pressing soft kisses on her forehead.

He leans to kiss her, but she recoils and turns her face to avoid it. She certainly doesn’t want him to kiss her after throwing up. He really wouldn’t care but he understands.

“ _Alright. Thank you.”_ she presses a light kiss on his jaw and nuzzle his neck.

He stays with her until she falls asleep and goes back to the girls.

Katniss is the first to come down. Her mouth pursed on the side in a worried face.

“ _You’re okay sweetheart?”_ he asks as she comes to sit next to him on the couch.

“ _Effie’s sad… She doesn’t like that you leave all the time…”_ she doesn’t look at him, she keeps her eyes on her hands on her lap.

“ _What do you mean?”_ so he wasn’t the only to see it then. And if even Katniss had picked up on it…

“ _She was crying doing the dishes earlier…”_

“ _What?!”_

“ _Prim and I saw her so she said she had only bumped her feet in the counter but she really looked sad…_ _And she sleeps a lot when you’re not there. She doesn’t want us to tell you…_ _”_ she stops and looks at the small tree they he had bought and let them decorate. When she speaks again her voice is small and shaky. “ _Is she_ _sick? Is she_ _going to leave us?”_

“ _No…_ _No of course not, sweetheart…”_ he takes her in his arms. “ _It’s okay. She won’t ever leave you.”_

At least he really hopes not. She _is_ different, but he doesn’t think that’s coming from her. She is hiding something from him. He wouldn’t say she’s depressed but she is unwell, and she doesn’t want him to know…

He fears that something he did. Maybe it’s going too fast for her… Maybe he said or did something… Now that Katniss had pointed it, she _was_ more clingy when he was leaving the house…

Or maybe she was missing her family after all. The holidays have that effect on many people. Maybe she wants to go back to them in NYC. Or maybe _they_ want her back, now that water has ran under the bridges. The thought causes chills on his nape.

It’s not a good moment for that, but he wants to ask about it later. Maybe they could compromise something. He doesn’t want to lose her for that.

He makes some soup, eat with the girls and take them to bed.

When he comes back in their bedroom with a bowl, she’s reading, sitting against a pile of pillows.

“ _You better princess?”_

“ _Yes, much better. Thank you.”_ she takes the bowl from his hands eagerly. Not caring about her own rule of _no food in the bedroom._

Well, they had already transgressed this rule a few times, but not in the same context…

“ _It’s delicious!”_ she beams, while he tucks a few wayward strand back behind her ears and coils his hand around her nape.

He watches her. Searches her eyes for something. Fear, resentment, anger at him, but he doesn’t find anything like that. Just a hint of sadness and yearning sometimes.

He keeps combing her hair distractedly.

“ _Are you okay, Haymitch?”_ she asks, once she has finished her soup and looks at him.

“ _I love you.”_ It escapes his mouth without his assent. But it’s the truth, and it makes her grin and kiss him so maybe that was the good thing to say.

The kiss morphs into making out, and soon he goes down on her in order to make it up to her.

She holds his head between her thigh, clutching and scratching at his scalp with her red painted nails.

Twice he feels her come undone on his tongue inside her or on her clit, wriggling under him and biting his pillow to muffle her screams – because she downright _screams-_ of bliss.

He comes back up next to her, kissing her neck while she come back from her literally breathtaking orgasms. They are both flabbergasted by the strength of them…

“ _Wow_ … _That was…. Intense.”_

She chuckles, still panting, and reaches for his – rock hard – cock with her hand.

“ _No. no. That was just for you.”_ he whispers, taking her hand away gently.

“ _But I want you…”_ she whines, tears in her eyes. “ _Don’t you want me?”_

“ _Isn’t the answer obvious?”_ he snorts, he is struggling to keep his hips far from her. If he thinks a little too much about what had just happened, a small touch would be enough to make him burst in his pants like a teenager. “ _You’re already tired, I don’t want to exhaust you…”_

“ _I don’t care.”_ she breathes in the hottest and sexiest voice, and straddles him so fast he doesn’t have time to react.

She undoes his pants and kisses him hard. He has to bite his cheeks strong enough to draw blood to avoid cumming right then when she sinks on him, her tits bouncing a few inches away from his face, moaning in the most obscene fashion.

She rides him like it was the last time.

When they collapse in the ruined sheets, his brain begins to work again.

“ _What_ … _Fuck… Was that… three for you?”_ he frowns. She had never… it was… _five_ in total? In what? Twenty minutes?…

She nods, too spent to say more.

He gathers her in his arms and they fall asleep like that, naked and sweaty.

The only thing he has the will to do is praying that none of the girls would come barging in after a nightmare and find them like that…

xxx

The next day, he goes one last time to the house, to make sure everything is done and perfect.

And it is.

Christmas is in four days, but he isn’t sure he’ll be able to wait that long to bring Effie here. The more he waits, the more afraid he gets. And it might also be good they come here _before_ having to host a party inside. He knows the kitchen but he hasn’t cooked in it or tried the appliances yet, and Effie will want to know where everything is stored, to be the perfect hostess.

He goes back to their apartment with a question and a proposition she certainly will not like at first.

He goes back to the dinner, it’s seven thirty pm, so she must be home now. He asks Cecelia to stay ten more minutes, and runs upstairs.

He finds Effie fixing herself a cup of tea, munching on a blueberry muffin.

“ _Oh!”_ she startles spotting him on the threshold. “ _I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”_

He can read guilt on her face. She wasn’t expecting him to see her eating what she had forbidden herself. She won’t be able to accuse him of making her fat anymore.

“ _Sorry.”_ he laughs, stealing a bite of her muffin. “ _I wanted to talk to you.”_

“ _Oh…”_ she puts down her cup and muffin on the counter and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

He is a little surprised by the defensive stance but he doesn’t stop at that.

“ _Did you hear from your family recently?”_

“ _What? No, not at all. Well, except from my sister who calls sometimes. Why? Did you?”_ she’s working herself up, panicking even. Her eyes are wide and she recoils under her back is against the counter.

“ _No. No, don’t worry about that. I just wanted to be sure…”_ he quickly reassures her.

“ _Why?”_ she frowns.

“ _I was afraid… I thought that maybe you were missing them. It’s the holiday and you’ve been…”_

She crosses the space between them in two hurried strides and crashes against him.

“ _You are my family. I’ll never leave you to go back to them. Ever.”_ she blurts against his chest. “ _I’m sorry…”_

He closes his arms around her.

“ _Nothing to be sorry about princess. That’s good.”_ he says with a kiss in her hair. “ _Would you like to go somewhere with me tomorrow? You’d need to leave the shop earlier…”_

“ _Where?”_ she frowns. Visibly not fine with missing hours of work, she has a lot of orders to prepare and not enough time on her hands.

“ _Can’t tell you.”_ he shrugs with a smirk.

She studies his face for a while, searching for something, a sign of what he is up to. But he is careful to erase all emotion of his face. Only his smirk resists.

“ _Okay. When?”_

“ _Around five? Meet me here. I’ll take you.”_

“ _Alright.”_

“ _Great.”_ he can’t hold back the smile spreading on his lips, and kisses her lovingly. “ _I have to go back down_ _stairs_ _. See you later?”_ She nods and they part with light goodbye kisses.

xxx

The next day, he doesn’t open the diner. He puts a sign on the door and drives straight to the house.

He still has some last minute details to take care of to be sure the surprise is perfect.

He begins with putting some framed picture of them and the girls on the fireplace, along with a huge bouquet of white peonies, camellias, hellebore, baby’s breath, jasmine and foliage. Next he installs some of Portia’s candles in the living room and in the bathroom attendant to the master bedroom, especially around the huge bathtub he had ordered custom made to be certain they would both fit in. And finally he goes to the kitchen to prepare their diner. Nothing too extravagant, some salad, roasted chicken with garlic, tomatoes and red bell peppers and the lemon pie she loves.

During his last tour of the house, he gives an almost yearning long look to the shiny new grand piano in the study. She would have loved to hear him play for her, she had hinted at it a few times. And he would have loved to be able to. But he is out of practice, and the tremors in his hands aren’t helping.

Maybe one day… He would never be able to play like he used to, but maybe he could try to go back to it.

To get rid of his last demon.

He shakes his head and goes back to pick her up at the diner.

It’s four thirty, he takes a quick shower, puts on the black slacks that always have her drooling over his backside, a grey button up shirt, and just have time to spray some cologne when he hears her open and close the apartment door.

“ _Haymitch?”_ she calls him from the living room. He comes to join her. “ _Oh! You look… dashing! Should I go get changed?”_ her eyes are wide and she licks her lips eyeing him up and down with a grin.

“ _If you want to, yes, you can.”_ he says, welcoming her with a soft kiss.

“ _I will then. I clearly feel underdressed.”_ she laughs and disappears in the bedroom.

When she reappears twenty minutes later, it’s in a dark blue blazer dress with big golden buttons on black woolen tights and black boots. Classy and gorgeous. And mouth watering.

“ _Where are the girls? Aren’t they coming?”_ she frowns, seeing him alone waiting against the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee.

“ _I arranged with Hazelle for a sleepover tonight. It’s just us princess.”_ he says, taking her by the waist and brushing his lips on hers teasingly. “ _Come on!”_

He takes her hand and urges her down the stairs. There he stops and takes a thick kerchief on the hanger.

She jerks her head when he approaches it of her eyes.

“ _Trust me…”_ he sighs with a smirk. She makes a face but closes her eyes and lets him have his way.

He guides her to his truck, then all the way up the alley to the house and into the living room.

She wrinkles her nose when he stops her in the middle of the room.

“ _It smells like paint…”_ she winces.

He frowns because they had made sure to do the painting first so the fumes would be dissipated by now. To him it smells like new furniture, pine and chicken.

He comes behind her and slowly undoes the blindfold’s knot at her nape.

His heart is hammering against his rib cage. But it’s too late to doubt now. And he can’t wait any longer to see her reaction.

“ _Merry Christmas, Effie.”_

The fabric hasn’t fallen on the floor yet that he hears her gasp, putting her hands on her mouth.

 _That_ he expected.

What he didn’t expect however was her bursting into tears, and whacking his chest vigorously when she turns to face him.

“ _Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”_ he laughs.

“ _You stupid, stupid man…”_ then she stops hitting him and falls in his arms. “ _I thought you were cheating on me…”_

“ _What?!”_ he barks. “ _Why on Earth would I do that?”_

“ _I don’t know. Men gets bored. I’m getting huge… And…”_

“ _Wow, wow, wow…. Stop right there.”_ he says putting his hand on her mouth to stop her stupid rant. He doesn’t want to laugh anymore. “ _I don’t cheat. And I certainly won’t get bored of you. You’re the most gorgeous woman I have ever met and I’m still wondering how you ended up with an old ex-drunkard like me.”_

She doesn’t have to retort at that, so she cries again, melting on his chest, he holds her tight until she calms down.

“ _So_ …” he clears his throat. “ _What do you think?”_

Because that’s what he wants to know. That’s why he brought her here. To know if she likes the house he had _re-built_ for them.

She leaves his arms to take a walk around the room.

“ _It’s perfect…”_ she seems speechless, her eyes are still full of tears but her mouth is stretching wider wider in a blinding smile. “ _I love it…”_ she comes back to him and kisses him hard.

He kisses her back but doesn’t linger.

“ _And you haven’t seen everything.”_

He takes her hand and drags her around the first floor. To the green kitchen, the cream dining room, the brown study.

She stops when she spots the piano in the middle of the bookshelves and leather armchairs. She look at him expectantly, but he can’t do more than shrugging with an apologetic smile.

Later, he wants to promise her. But he doesn’t want to make promises he won’t be able to keep.

So he just takes her hand again and guides her up the stairs. There he does things in order. The girls bedrooms first, then the two bathrooms. Then the two guest rooms. And finally, _their_ bedroom. With the light turquoise and white walls, the king size bed with a thousand pillows and cushions just like she loves. And the balcony. She walks straight to the floor to ceiling windows, opens the door and remains speechless at the balcony’s railing.

He comes behind her and puts one of the bed’s blankets on her shoulders. He simply takes her in his arms and watches the view with her.

The back of the house gives on the garden and further on the Meadow and the woods. In winter, when the trees are naked, you can even glimpse the lake in the middle of the sea of naked trees.

They stay like that for a few minutes, not caring one bit about the cold. Until she turns in his arms and wraps her arms around his neck.

“ _I love you…”_ she whispers before taking him in kiss that made him see stars.

He would have gladly skipped the dinner and romantic bath steps to go straight to the bed part, but he had organized the perfect night, so he has to behave.

“ _I’m sorry I doubted you…”_

He kisses her worry away. “ _I understand. I must have been acting weird from your point of view.”_ he chuckles. “ _You should have told me. I don’t want to lie to you. I really thought you hadn’t paid attention. If I had known…”_

“ _It’s okay. I shouldn’t have thought… I should have known you weren’t like the others…”_ she bows her head to hide her face, but he saw the flash of insecurity and hurt in her eyes as she spoke. He wants to strangle all those men who hurt and broke her, but it wouldn’t help.

No, instead, he makes a silent oath to mend her as best as he can.

“ _Come on, I have other things for you.”_

They get back down to eat the dinner he had prepared. They take their meal talking and laughing, she insists he tells her all the details of the renovation and he explains everything gladly. She is beaming, happy and carefree again. Just like when they first met.

Her smile is blinding, her eyes sparkling and her laugh deafening.

Every little doubt was left in his mind just vanish like dust in the wind.

After dinner, they go to the romantic bath with rose petals and candles he had planned. Needless to say it doesn’t stay on the _romantic_ side for long.

They’re kissing, her straddling his legs in the warm water that almost seems cold to him because his blood is boiling.

“ _I’ve been so scared. I realize it was stupid now but…”_ she chuckles with some uncertainty in her voice. She’s still set on that. So persuaded that she isn’t worth someone’s love…

He shushes her with an other kiss. Much more tender than the heated previous ones.

“ _Never.”_ he simply says, holding her head in his hands and locking his eyes in hers. “ _Never.”_

He frown lightly, looking at this incredible woman he doesn’t think he deserves. But as long as she will want him, he will keep her. She’s his most precious treasure.

After that, he carries her to their brand new bed in their brand new bedroom, still naked like the day they were born.

Afterwards, when she complains about their lack of night wear – it’s true that the room is a little chilly because he has only turned the heating on today – he stands up and opens a drawer half full of clothes for them both. Some new and some he had sneaked out of the apartment in the last days without her noticing.

She laughs at his foresight and then at the content of her side of the drawer.

“ _You only took things I am not very likely to keep all night…”_ she purrs, slipping on her almond silk night gown he had gifted her last year.

“ _Oops_ … _”_ he smirks, taking a pair of black sweatpants and pushing her playfully back in the bed. “ _We should get some sleep. We’ll have work tomorrow.”_ he adds more seriously, taking her mouth in a last intense kiss before leaning them into the pillows.

She burrows under the blankets and against him, tucking her head under his scratchy chin.

“ _Thank you.”_ she whispers.

He doesn’t see her face, but he can hear the tears in her voice.

xxx

And a lot of work they _do_ have the next day.

From telling the girls to moving the first necessity items from their place to the house, it takes them half of the day. The other half is filled by going back to their respective work and catch up for the missed hours.

He had taken care of all the paper work already, and put the house in both their names. Even if he hopes she wouldn’t be Effie _Trinket_ for much longer.

It takes them two days to completely move there and find their new _routine._ They all have to wake up a little earlier, he takes care of the girls on the evenings until she comes back – entrusting the diner to Cecelia in the meantime- and goes back to take his night shift.

By Christmas Eve, they are both completely exhausted and they haven’t seen each other more than a few hours a day, and they had spent most of them sleeping.

He is seriously considering taking either a babysitter for the afternoons or an other associate to have his night for himself and his family. He refuses to have done all this and not being able to enjoy it.

When he comes back with all grocery bags full of what they need for the dinner and the next day’s feast, he finds Effie taking a nap on the couch, still dressed with her shop’s apron - a white and pink striped monstrosity that kinda look cute on her -, with her half undone ponytail spreading blond curls on the pillows

He goes silently to the kitchen to store the groceries and comes back to her with a big cup of black coffee just like she loves.

Her nostrils twitch at the smell and she stretches like a content cat with a grin on her lips.

“ _Morning princess.”_ he chuckles.

“ _Hmm sorry… didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m so tired…”_ she yawns with a smile, outstretching her hands like a child to take her coffee.

“ _Don’t tell me…”_ he sighs, falling next to her on the sofa. It was so soft and comfortable, no wonder she had fallen asleep. “ _How are the girls?”_

“ _Katniss is helping Prim organize her numerous books and stuffed toys in her room. They are adorable.”_ she laughs with fondness. “ _But I was kicked out_ _of Katniss’s room_ _because apparently there are things_ _there that_ _I shouldn’t see…”_ she frowns and purses her lips in a mock of irritation.

Katniss was eight now, old enough to know that Santa wasn’t real and he had asked her shelter for some of his gifts. There weren’t that many cupboards that Effie wouldn’t open in a nearby future and it was the only idea he had found.

“ _Should I worry?”_ he growls, laughing through his nose. “ _How did it go?”_ he asks, nodding toward her apron.

“ _It was madness. There was a never ending line. I had to ask Portia to replace me twice, just so I could go to the toilets…”_ she shakes her head. “ _Next year I’ll put a limit to the commands. Not more than one two things per person or something like that… I had one with fifty petits fours and five logs. Ten boxes just for her! Never again! Ever!”_

He hides a fond laugh behind a smirk and coils his hand around her ankle.

If it had been anyone else, he would have cut her saying he didn’t give a damn about her rambling. But he could listen to _her_ foolish stories for hours _._ If she’s talking, she’s happy, and that’s what he wants. He’ll worry the day when she’ll have nothing to tell him at the end of the day.

Like last year, they have a quiet Christmas Eve dinner and night, just the four of them in their new sitting room in their new house, enlightened by the fake flames in the fireplace and the slowly blinking lights of the light string in the tree.

It still feels unreal to Haymitch, but it’s a pleasant kind of unreal.

He feels like his ghosts are finally at peace when he looks at the star at the top of the Christmas tree. A warm wave spreads from his heart to all his body, and he presses a kiss on the top of the woman in his arms.

For the first time in a while, _he_ is at peace.

xxx

The next morning, they open their presents, sitting crossed legs on the plushy rugs sprawled all over the room, with trays full of food and drinks on the coffee table and fresh snow all over the garden.

The girls scream their happiness at every ripped paper, Effie throws him an amused glare when she spots the brand on the box of the lingerie set he had bought her, but she quickly forgives him when she opens the big blue box containing the dress and scarf from luxury store.

Her eyes fills with tears and he can see she refrains from jumping on him for the girls sake. She intently places the box on top of the lingerie with a wink, and goes back to her other gifts -books, fabrics and sparkly threads.

He gets collection books, cooking tools and new clothes he knows she made herself. Two button up shirts, one timber green with lapels and cuff of a lighter shade, and a white one with grey marble buttons. It was telling of how much time he spent listening to her rambling about fashion that he knew both would make the grey of his eyes pop.

He doesn’t gives her the ring. Not yet. Not sitting on the floor in their pyjamas with the girls around.

He wants it to be a private moment, just the two of them.

After that, he lets his girls new toys and takes his truck to go get Sae for lunch. It would become a new tradition, having her with them for the holidays. She’s part of the family too.

When they get back home, Sae beams at what he had done with the house. She had heard about it and seen pictures, but being inside makes tears fill her eyes.

She quickly wipes them when they hear the clicks of Effie’s stilettos coming closer and the steps of the two little elephants running upstairs.

“ _No running in the stairs!”_ they hear Effie scream at the girls who don’t care the slightest and storms into Sae’s arms. Effie arrives behind them rolling her eyes but grinning at the old woman.

She looks stunning -as always – in her knee length pine green empire dress, with a thin golden chain as a belt right under her breasts. It must be the cut of the dress but they really look huge and Haymitch has to gather all his self control to tear his eyes off them and keep his hands to himself.

“ _How are you Sae? Come in, come in, you must see the living room!”_ She drags Sae to the living room, explaining her everything like if she had done it herself, before calling everybody to the dining room where she had already set the table and the dishes.

She acts like a perfect hostess in her house, and he loves it.

The meal is delicious, from the vegetable soup to the lemon, vanilla and cardamom log Effie had created.

He can’t help but to corner her in the kitchen between the soup and the beef roast to kiss her and nuzzle her intriguing breast.

“ _Haymitch stop, we have guests…”_ she chuckles in his neck, keeping her voice low so it wouldn’t carry to the next room.

She responds eagerly to his kiss though, but winces when he cups her breast through her dress.

“ _What’s wrong?”_ he frowns, he hadn’t kneaded enough to hurt her, he had barely squeezed.

“ _Nothing, it’s just the dress, it itches a little.”_ she answers, smiling and wrinkling her nose, but her eyes aren’t following the lead and he can taste the lie on her lips when she kisses him before going back to the table.

After that she seems a little… off. To an untrained eye she would be perfectly normal, but he can see something is amiss. She is her usual cheerful self with everyone, but she spaces out, he eyes glassy fixed on her glass of water when she thinks no one is paying attention. She’s deep in her thoughts.

When the girls get out of the table to go play in their rooms, the three of them settle in the living room for coffee.

They speak about everything, the house, the girls, their lives. Effie snuggles against his side, tracing random patterns on his thigh with her fingers, and Sae throws periodically pointed looks in her direction. He silently nods at one loaded look she gives him during a beat and the smile that stretches her lips could have powered the city for a week.

“ _It’s getting late for an old woman like me!”_ she exclaims suddenly, slapping her hands on her legs. “ _Haymitch, why don’t you get me back now? You would be back to your lovely family for dinner!”_

He takes the hint and nods.

“ _Yeah, if you want._ _Even if I doubt I’ll be able to eat ever again.”_ he jokes.

Effie gets on her with a kind smile hiding a relieved expression in her eyes.

“ _I’m going to tell the girls.”_

They wait until she disappears and Sae pounce on him to whack his arm. He is lucky she didn’t use her cane.

“ _You should have told me! You idiot!”_ she scolds him laughing. “ _When?”_

“ _Tonight.”_ he answers in a low voice rubbing his neck. “ _I hope…”_

“ _She will. Looking at the two of you, I have no doubt!”_

They have to stop when they hears steps in the corridor. The girls say goodbye and go back to their new toys. Effie lingers a little. Insisting that she takes some leftovers home and taking her time filling some Tupperware.

Ten minutes later, they finally get in the car.

They talk almost all the drive about Haymitch’s proposal. He doesn’t really know how to do that. He hasn’t prepared any speech or anything, but it’s not his thing, it would sound fake. He’ll… go with the flow.

When he parks in front of her tiny house, she turns one last time toward him, with a content expression and a smile on her face.

“ _Good luck my boy! Make an honest woman of her!”_

“ _I will. I’ll try at least…”_ he smiles a boyish smile he reserves only to her, his mother of substitution.

“ _You built a perfect nest for her. I’m proud of you.”_ She opens her door, gets out and bows one last time to look at him through the window. “ _And remember to take everything life will give you, nothing dreadful will happen Haymitch.”_

She turns around without giving him time to answer and leaves him frowning at her words.

She has a point. A few years ago he would have pushed everything away, out of fear. Persuaded he was bad luck.

He mulls her words over during the drive home, wondering what made her say that. But he can’t find any good explanation.

He takes a deep breath before turning the handle of the front door.

In a few minutes, he’ll know. In a few minutes, he’s going to spill his guts out and offer her his hand, his heart and his life.

With a little luck, in a few minutes he will be hers, and she’ll be his.

And he doesn’t have a freaking idea of what he’s going to say…

He gets in the living room and finds her asleep again, with Lady curled on her hip. She has washed her face and changed in black leggings and a thick oversize red and white Christmas sweater that makes her look like a giant candy cane. She’s buried under layers of blankets, and the TV is still on with the sound low enough that she could hear any unusual noise in the house.

He sits on the edge of the cushion and brushes tenderly her blond locks away from her face. Enjoying the sight and the feel of her glowing soft skin, her pink lips and her silky golden hair.

She wakes up and frowns looking around her.

“ _Oh_ … _I fell asleep again…”_ she frowns, rubbing the sleep off her eyes.

“ _You’re really tired. You’re sure you’re okay?”_ he asks. They might have worked hard this week and she might have had a lot of emotion, but is it enough to fall asleep everytime she ends up in a horizontal position…

“ _Yes. Yes I am perfectly fine.”_ she reassure him. “ _The girls are asleep,_ _they were exhausted and more than sated. So am I… This is my best Christmas so far…”_ she chuckles, getting up to leave him some place to sit next to her. “ _Are you okay?”_

He realizes he has been fixing her without answering anything she had said. He nods and kisses her before standing up and walking slowly to the tree. Summoning all his courage and his meager talent for speeches.

“ _Haymitch?”_

He seizes the small white box still hidden at the back of the tree, and plays with it for a second. He has his back at her and he can feel her insisting gaze on his nape.

“ _Did I say something wrong?”_ He can hear the frown on her face.

He takes one last deep breath and turns around to go back to the couch.

He can’t go back now. He can’t hesitate.

“ _Haymitch?”_ she asks again, puzzled. Until she spots the little velvet cube in his hand. Her hands fly to her mouth and tears flood her eyes. “ _Haymitch_ … _”_

He crouches in front of her. She’s still sitting on the sofa, her legs bent under her, and he’s kneeling facing her, looking at his hands holding the box.

“ _Effie_ … _You know me, I’m not a man of many words.”_ He chuckles nervously. “ _But_ … _I know it’s been only a year, it’s not a long time but… I… I love you. You changed my life, our life. And I don’t want this to end. So…”_ he lifts his hand and slowly opens the box. Not daring looking at her yet. “ _Will you marry me, and the whole_ _crazy_ _package that come with me?”_ he adds nodding to the ceiling and to the girls sleeping above their heads.

“ _Yes_ …” he barely hears the faint whisper coming from above his head. But he very well hears the sob, and immediately lifts his head to see her beaming and sobbing in the same time, hiding her mouth behind her right hand and lifting the left one to take the box.

He grasps her hand before she can touch it, keeps it in his, puts the box on the cushion next to her knees and takes the ring. He presses a light kiss on her knuckles before slipping the ring on her finger.

She fixes it for a second, her lips wobbling, but them she throws her arms at his neck and kisses him like if there was no tomorrow.

“ _I love you… It’s so beautiful… I love you…”_ she repeats in loop between kisses.

He can tell she’s happy but he senses there is something else. She is clinging too hard at him, her tears never stop to spill and she’s shaking.

He retreats to look in her eyes.

“ _Sweetheart. There is something you’re not telling me.”_

She bites her bottom lip, pecks his lips one last time and stands up, pushing him in her place on the couch.

And she walks to the tree. And takes something next in it on the other side of where he had hidden the ring, next to the window.

She doesn’t turn around before speaking.

“ _Haymitch, you do love me.”_ it doesn’t sound like a question but it calls for a response.

“ _Yes.”_

“ _Promise me you won’t be angry…”_

“ _Angry? No. Why…”_

His question trails off when she turns around with a little thing in her palm and kneels in front of the couch.

“ _Merry Christmas Haymitch.”_ she whispers with an anxious smile.

She takes his hand and puts a tiny thing in it, and keeps her palm on it for a moment.

He can only feel it. It feel really tiny, and like … wool?

Then she takes her hand away.

And his breath with it.

He had never been one for the Christmas stockings tradition. It was stupid, most of the gifts wouldn’t fit in them, and really putting socks next to roaring fire?…

But this one…

Only one thing would fit in it …

A really tiny foot.

_**The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it! They lived happily ever after. With a lots of fights and hot smut of course…   
> So, did you like it? Tell me everything!   
> Feedback are more than welcome in this dreadful time of the year – yeah unlike Haymitch, I haven’t fought my demons yet… - and I always love hearing from my readers!  
> And of course I want to thank you all, writers, readers, who comment or not, for helping me get through this terrible year. This fandom is clearly the best thing that happen to me in 2020 and I really want to thank you all! < 3
> 
> See you soon for new foolish Hayffie stories and the next part of Vicarious!  
> xxx


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